Where Is My Poodle

PNG

2012-02-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

Thought I could go to Papua New Guinea for holiday end year but was strongly advised against it. Now if I had a Y chromosome and were 6 feet 2, things would be different :(((((((((

(The) Rolling and the deep

2012-02-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

The pictures here are courtesy of and credited to Melvin Teo. Taken during a group trip to the Land of Chapati, I like them for the way they represent two seemingly conflicting personalities within the same coin that is me. Looking at them both, I am strangely satisfied for I feel no need to justify myself in the face of raw honesty.

Beyond

2012-02-06T01:05:00.000+08:00

He has been utterly faithful in the faithlessness; how can I ever say that I lack?

Deprived

2012-02-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

Q: How do you know when you're suffering from coke deficiency?

A: Your heart skips a beat when you spy red tins through the shopping bag only to realize that your mum had bought tinned sardines for the dogs.

India recap

2012-01-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

Get henna tattoo - done
Go on elephant ride - done
Eat paneer - almost everyday
Get Indian phonecard for Bel - done
Bought a horse figurine - done
Planked in front of the Taj Mahal - done

Planking pic to follow. For now, I leave you with a photo which I took lying cheek flat to the ground.

My 60L bag and I

2012-01-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

My trusty backpack has followed me round Asia and this evening we will be headed for India. Woo hoo!

I like presents :)

2012-01-18T19:25:00.000+08:00

Got a fine send off with lots of presents which was very touching. Cried in the car while driving and nearly knocked a white Myvi. *oh #@%$!!!*

I've wanted this since forever. Thanks Lid :)

Staff got me this lovely bear. I'll call him Marley (aka Lexington). Bird was utilized to show size of bear. I forgot who got me the bird. Someone called Sean or someone called Terry.

Kee got the wine. Can't wait for a stormy night to drink this mulled.

I love scrapbooks. So many people took much effort to paste pics and do colouring and squiggles.

Clocking out

2012-01-18T15:09:00.002+08:00

Last day at office today. After India I'll be seated in a new chair in a new office in another building.

How do I feel?

Well...

The important things are still important. They remain important regardless of city, state or country. Regardless of health, wealth and social acceptance. Regardless of the people I am surrounded by, the policies I am bound to and the weather I find myself in.

The flaws still need to be corrected. Character is not erased with each change in life, neither can it be surgically improved or mechanically inserted according to whim and fancy. Your flaws don't determine your character. Your past does not define your present. Your past however does affect your present and your character now is because of who you were. It does not mean it is irreparable or that the loss you sense has happened is irretrievable. It means simply that you are who you are and will continue to become who you will be because of decisions you made in the past and of decisions you are now making in the present.

So really, not much has changed at all.

Sudden urges

2012-01-17T16:07:00.000+08:00

I am craving chocolate like r1g4T n*\/\/.
Anyone?

Running riot

2012-01-16T10:26:00.001+08:00

I feel like a hamster whenever I have to use a treadmill.

Unfortunately, circumstances dictate that I choose between feeling like a hamster for about 2 hours a day

... or ending up looking like one.

Decisions.

Hitting third base

2012-01-13T14:28:00.001+08:00

"Home" in 5 days.

Hope it won't rain this evening;
I really need to get some blood pumping.

Am pretty sure my right eye muscle
is twitching from pent up adrenaline.

Being Greedy; I want this book too

2012-01-12T15:48:00.002+08:00

Sourced here

Gingerbread man; the sequel

2012-01-12T14:50:00.000+08:00

It all started here.

You are...

The cross to my word;
The cloth to my table;
The picnic for my basket;
The green of my gable.

The shower of my Spring;
The frost of the Winter;
The red hues of Autumn;
The breeze in my Summer.

The mint to my pepper;
The coffee in my break;
The Rhyme and the Reason;
The Cadbury of my flake.

Still yummy :)

Blessings in disguise

2012-01-11T13:56:00.003+08:00

Have you ever received chain emails that say God will bless you if you pass the message on to X number of people in X number of minutes? Or that bad things will happen if you don't?

It is an interesting observation that perhaps only the most staunch atheist would ignore such a message or people with no credit on their phones, like me. Why is it that God plays such a trivial, unimportant, unglorified and ignored role in our lives until such a time as when His divine finger might send something good our way?

We unfortunately live in a culture distorted with the idea of blessings and curses. Wealth, health and a BMW means you're blessed; anything otherwise means you're not so. To many, wealth, health and a Mercedes-Benz SLR or Alfa Romeo Spider is the epitome of blessing because thereafter, there is nothingness, or at best an inkling of something yet to be revealed.

Not that I wouldn't mind an Audi R8 or an Aston Martin DBS V12 but my God was not born into a detached house with a swimming pool and multimillionaires for parents. His parents did not allegedly section of a full hospital wing with security guards to await his impending birth. He had no Fisher-Price pre-school educational play mat. I don't know what grades he got at school. I don't know how many times he caught the sniffles or if he had gastric problems. I don't know if he ever felt fat.

What I do know is that the most important thing he ever did for me was to be utterly humiliated. To be kicked like a dog whose skin was already scalded. To be beaten black and blue and have barbed wire ripped into his back. Probably had his teeth bashed out. Had people mock his frailty or his race or his parents; maybe telling him to "take it like a man." To be laid limp and semi-spread eagle and bared for the world to gloat. Dare I say it, had his balls on display for people to roll their eyes at.

How is that in any way a blessing? How can it be anything but a curse? Would anyone watching at the hill pass on the message; "Hey Jesus is now being crucified, pass this on to 10 people if you love them and want to see them blessed."

The one and only thing that we should seek is the urgency of being rescued from a future of untold horror. A future which belongs to the human race. Which every person will naturally inherit. You can't blame default inheritance. It is yours whether you want it or not, whether you realize it exists or try to argue it away with stunted intellect. There is a reason why people have an inherent distaste for Hell. To get out of quite literally, the inheritance from Hell, one has to get out from the family tree of Doom.

Being rescued by the Cross and Resurrection is not like winning the lottery. It is not an uncertainty that fingers-crossed, might happen. It is not a numbers game. It is not determined by whether you purchase the lottery ticket because the price has been paid in full. It is not determined by how good you are. It is not even really decided by you, but that's another story.

The best blessing God has given us is that rescue. To that there are only 2 responses; accepting the blessing or rejecting it. There is no middle ground. No "I used to be..." or "I was thinking about it" disclaimers which will help if the world ended now. God doesn't threaten; He just says it as it is and if the only blessing worth receiving is rejected, no amount of forwarded chain email (not even if you forwarded it to everyone in your email list) will be enough to prevent the inevitable and ultimate curse.

Dealing with it

2012-01-10T22:16:00.001+08:00

This is terrible.

Had healthy breakfast. Fantastic.

Received email from P. Fantastic.

Had chicken schnitzel with fries for lunch. Fantastic.

Greeted by 3 happy dogs when I got home. Fantastic.

Had salted egg for dinner. Fantastic.

Tried on Karen Millen dress with Aldo shoes. Fits. Fantastic.

Got ready for bed. Hooray, will be in bed before midnight! Fantastic.

Listened to a shared link on Facebook.

Listened to it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Went to the fridge.

Slowly ate 16 large pieces of Vochelle with Almond. Now looking for more food. Not so fantastic.

Note: Subsequently had Milo in bed. Things looking perky again.

Love actually

2012-01-08T12:56:00.005+08:00

Love is... chucking out the mouldy cabbage without complaining.

Love is... sitting it out for an extra 20 minutes.

Love is... not overthinking things.

Love is... taking the good with the bad; the bad with the ugly and the ugly with the unthinkable.

Love is... enjoying the moment.

Love is... eating bitter gourd to help someone win a competition (eeeewwwww....).

Love is... supporting someone else's dream.

Love is... forgiving yourself and letting go.

Love is... being gracious about compliments and kind about mistakes.

Love is... sharing the last triple chocolate chip cookie.

Love is... putting the hand of someone you care about into the hands of someone who knows better.

Paper trail

2012-01-08T00:29:00.001+08:00

2012 is the definitive year of lists. Priss wants me to do a list of top 5 foods to eat before one dies. That will need a bit of work to narrow down so I'll start with the top 15 books I wish to get this year. Jumble and Popular bookstore sales are awesome things. Times and MPH don't really offer discounts worth shouting about. As a rule I don't personally purchase books off Amazon, preferring to chance upon them in mad satisfaction.

1) A Lion Among Men - Gregory Maguire
2) Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister - Gregory Maguire
3) Any coffee table book by Tim Flach/ Vladimir Kush/ Salvador Dali/ Carl Warner
4) The Duck that Won the Lottery - Julian Baggini (STILL SEARCHING - should've bought it that one time I saw it!!!)
5) Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
6) Surprised by Joy - C.S. Lewis
7) Cross-Examined - Mark Meynell (I had TWO copies of this book but might have lent/given them away cos I can't find them - even my highlighted copy. One can however, never share enough sound theological literature so no regrets but I would really like my own copy. Or maybe it's lying around the house somewhere because come to think of it, I can't find my Japanese Women Don't Get Old or Fat either)
8) Trinny & Susannah; the Survival Guide - Trinny & Susannah
9) The Lover's Dictionary - David Levithan
10) Any cookbook by Jamie Oliver/ Gordon Ramsay/ Gary Rhodes/ Nigella Lawson/ Anthony WT/ Delia Smith/ Michael Smith/ James Martin
11) Animal Farm - George Orwell (two legs baaaaaad...)
12) Complete Works of Winnie-the-Pooh - A.A. Milne
13) Lord of the Flies - William Golding
14) Pooh and the Philosophers - John T. Williams (AGAIN, I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE THIS!!! - I used it extensively in Jurisprudence - WHERE IS IT????? THIS IS FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!)
15) Elvenblood - Mercedes Lackey (I HAD this and burnt it together with a series of other books. Now I want it back. Explanation here)

Yes, it is high time I did a complete raking with a fine tooth comb to locate my missing books.

It does exist

2012-01-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

With reference to item no. 9 in the previous post, I'm gonna get a little help from a kit. Because it was sent with much love, I shall endeavour to stuff this little ball of fuzz with just as much. Anyone out there with kids above 36 months willing to test out the final product? I shall call him Winston.

New Year's Gameplan

2012-01-07T14:51:00.001+08:00

My top 10 to dos for 2012

1) Only allowed to skip church once a month - as opposed to as and when(ever)
2) Sit for piano exam
3) Get teeth fixed (extraction, filling, drilling, polishing)
4) Find alternative exercise regime (moving location)
5) Try to complete scuba lesson (but would rather fail this than ~~die~~ ~~drown~~ ~~have panic attack relapse~~ ~~suffer~~ ... [insert other more suitable word]
6) Pick up bass guitar
7) Learn how to make a Bloody Mary
8) Bake a chocolate roulade and eat it whilst watching Bridget Jones' Diary (I and II)
9) Knit a teddy bear
10) Make preparations to join endurance riding in 2013

I will review this at the end of the year.

Grafting

2012-01-06T11:54:00.000+08:00

Since I appear to be neither moving nor marrying out of the family home anytime soon, a decision has been made albeit begrudgingly that we start looking at built-in bookshelves to store the external hardcopy of my brain(s). At the moment they rest on random desks, headboards, boxes, stools and on each other, knitting me in with their musty perfume.

I suppose it would be nice to have some sort of shelving arrangement, but where in the ~~world~~ house will we put them all?

I WANT THIS!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

2012-01-05T15:37:00.002+08:00

"These short entries provide insight into the ups and downs of their romantic relationship, revealing the couple's problems with alcoholism and infidelity. The story does not unfold in chronological order; instead, it is arranged alphabetically by dictionary entries which give glimpses into the joys and struggles the characters face over the course of their relationship." Wikipedia as at 5.1.2012

Excerpt courtesy of The Guardian (full article here)

"The definition of "ineffable, adj." reads, "Trying to write about love is ultimately like trying to have a dictionary represent life. No matter how many words there are, there will never be enough." Indeed, and maybe the most articulate thought in the novel is one rage-filled entry (under "catharsis, n."): "YOU FUCKER, I LOVE YOU." A Valentine's Day gift? What could be better…"

Further excerpts found here. Now I REALLY want this (hyperventilating-inside-head-gut-wrenchingly-want).

Abberant, adj.
“I don’t normally do this kind of thing,” you said.
“Neither do I,” I assured you.

Later it turned out we had both met people online before, and we had both slept with people on first dates before, and we had both found ourselves falling too fast before. But we comforted ourselves with what we really meant to say, which was: “I don’t normally feel this good about what I’m doing.”

Measure the hope of the moment, that feeling.

Everything else will be measured against it.

Abyss, n.
There are times when I doubt everything. When I regret everything you’ve taken form me, everything I’ve given to you, and the waste of all the time I’ve spent on us.

Basis, n.
There has to be a moment at the beginning when you wonder whether you’re in love with the person or in love with the feeling of love itself.

If the moment doesn’t pass, that’s it — you’re done.

And if the moment does pass, it never goes that far .It stands in the distance, ready for whenever you want it back. Sometimes it’s even there when you thought you were searching for something else, like an escape route, or your lover’s face.

Fraught, adj.
Does every “I love you” deserve an “I love you too”? Does every kiss deserve a kiss back? Does every night deserve to be spent on a lover?

If the answer to any of these is “No,” what do we do?

Neophyte n.
There are millions upon millions of people who have been through this before — why is it that no one can give me good advice?

Stanchion, n.
I don’t want to be the strong one, but I don’t want to be the weak one, either. Why does it feel like it’s always one or the other? When we embrace, one of us is always holding the other a little tighter.

India take 2

2012-01-05T12:43:00.001+08:00

So it's supposed to be like minus 500 degrees when we visit India right?

After packing and repacking mum's bag and deciding that there were enough sacrificed sheep packed into a 20kg limit, Lok tells me that India is not cold. His reasoning however goes along the line of:-

"If India were that cold, all the poor people would freeze because they don't have enough money to buy winter clothes."

If his line of argument is bad, what's more tragic is that I buy that excuse. Totally.

Paneer, here I come!

Suffering the consequences of hedonism

2011-12-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

I indulged in a tad too much happy over the festive season. Started the week on whites accompanied with a gorgeous cheese platter which carried through to several kinds of red, JD's Black Label, Frangelico, Absolut Vodka and Bailey's to name a few, ingested mixed, mulled, neat, on rocks and in pasta. Played 2 rounds of Scrabble over tea and more wine.

As expected, the rashes are now coming out to play.

Idiosyncracies

2011-12-26T14:57:00.000+08:00

Escapism is not always bad. It is neither always cowardice nor always fear that initiates the mode of flight over fight. Truly, serendipity and madness follow hand-in-hand in the pursuit of escape in such a way as to reap much unplanned benefit from propelling one's self uninhibited to execute impulsive thought otherwise unimaginable, or even if not unimaginable, previously unimportant or inconsequential to one's sense of achievement.

I quite like escapism. It has sent me across the world and then some, inundating my soul with (some might say) useless philosophy which though conceptualised and understood, plays little part in the reality of my life. My life is at best, disjuncted; a series of accidents that stumble unprepared into the next phase and the only thing keeping the momentum going (besides God and many would say in spite of) is adrenaline fueled by wanting to discover what lies over the horizon. Though experience tells me each horizon reveals a hue closer to tangible reality than fancy or fantasy and though with each passing horizon, my mind becomes more disillusioned, there is still an urgency to press on at cost to myself for the present is expectantly marked by foreboding uncertainty, sending ears twitching nervously and feet itching to flee.

You will find no leaping, graceful, sure-footed gazelle here, only a curiousity, appearing saturated to some and void to another, seeking to satiate mindlust.

Prepping the Crimson Cow

2011-12-23T16:33:00.000+08:00

The festive marathon has just about started and already I have red wine spilled on printed chiffon. "Go with the flow" seems to be the motto of the season but a suitcase of unsatisfied Christmasses counters heavy against the urge to move forward. Presents bought and sealed appear a wasted effort and detachment is its weight in gold. Appropriation is both sought and deflected, wishful yet rejected.

Occasionally, the internal organ pipes up and jaunty steps signal possible regrowth and positive action.

Christmas is perfect for spending the long weekend wallowing in utter misery, with enough ammo to make Ebenezer feel like a wet hen left out in the cold.

Happiness in all its forms is gloriously addictive, so much so that the worst things are committed in pursuit of the illusion.

Deballed

2011-12-21T16:28:00.002+08:00

I'm sad that my Zoloft is going to be neutered tonight :'( Could drown my sorrows in chocolate.

Christmas Day plans

2011-12-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

My parents have planned to open house. Being the ever-dutiful daughter that I am, I will help see to it that their plans come to fruition. This has so far included setting up the Christmas tree with generous amounts of "snow" which will nonchalantly float into cups of orange squash reminding people of the wrong reason for Christmas ala Sinter Klaus.

Ideally, my Christmas would look a little different. A game of Scrabble over Cadbury Light's Peppermint Hot Chocolate, wearing fuzzy socks, sitting in an air-conditioned room, listening to Linkin Park or Lite fm... something to that effect.

Psycho what?

2011-12-20T01:10:00.001+08:00

Editor's note: An additional essay in brief on INTPs here

Took up the Myers-Briggs test again this year for the fun of it. The last time I put myself through the paces was recorded here.

There has been no change from the last instance and my equilibrium is somewhat buoyant at INTP. It has become less incredulous that a different vowel precedes my intuition (N) these days and I wear my absentminded perception (P) with a pride which my proverbial poker-in-arse Judging (J) persona would have dismissed as lazy. Having said that, remnants of the J must still be around, lingering somewhere on my person as there have been times when I've had to remove the said poker to accommodate characters I would have otherwise point-blank refused to talk to.

To find out if your lifestyle is killing ~~you~~ your personality, you can risk your hand here.

Once again

2011-12-18T15:14:00.002+08:00

The worst of the emo-ness is over for now. As I knew it would be. As it has always been. As it will be to come. But it still sucks having to ride it out even though positive, affirmative lessons are also always learnt. A love-hate relationship with myself.

Oh, and accidentally bought CHERRY flavoured Diet Coke. Disgusting.

Looking forward to karaoke.

Two cents worth of Sensitivity and Sensibility

2011-12-13T15:30:00.000+08:00

Yes, mine to give

Yet I will grieve

For having trusted

Too soon too true

Mine to withhold

Yet truth be told

I would rather readily

Give it to you

Mine to provide

Yet kept on the side

Not wanting but wanting

To see if you too

Compassion abounds

You do wear that crown

Too many around

And not just us two

So goodbye my lover

Goodbye my friend

Goodbye to an ending

That never began

Farewell my brother

Godspeed again

A deep breath in the winter

Find a safe place to land

Not my time

2011-12-13T02:10:00.001+08:00

It is taking too long

And yet not time yet

Not much more now

Still a good way yet

Same old story

Different faces

Same old pain

Different spaces

Never changing

Evergreen

Always wishing

Only dreams

Pushing through

Forcing boundaries

Facing paths

Forging means

Tumble, fall

Bruised and small

Rage, unrest

Why give my best?

Because though it may seem foolish

Though it may look untrue

Though the world may laugh and scorn

As they did at you

Not that life is perfect

Nor that it'll ever be

Not that dreams uncovered

Will fulfill my destiny

Not that hope, forgiveness

Will satisfy my soul

Nor that giving everything

Will dry the tears that fall

Not that I am the centre

Of any worth at all

Not that I understand

Or even comprehend

But because you have so giveth

It's not longer I that liveth

The mess and the mire

The deeds burned in fire

The judgment call will sound

That despite my weakness

I may be found

Kisses for you

2011-12-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

Found at http://a.dryicons.com/files/graphics_previews/pop_art_kiss.jpg

Kisses for you

Kisses for me

Kisses that rain down

From the sycamore tree

Kisses for him

Kisses for her

Under the mistletoe

In drunken stupor

Kisses for them

Kisses for us

Flirty and light

Dark, dangerous

Kisses for all

Kisses for none

A kiss to betray

Unravel, undone

Kisses for you

Kisses for me

At Golgotha's Hill

From Calvary's Tree

Bah Humbug

2011-12-11T03:46:00.000+08:00

Humbug: A slavish concern for the composition of words is the sign of a bankrupt intellect. Be gone, odious wasp! You smell of decayed syllables. (The Phantom Tollbooth)

But I really do like obsessing over mixing-and-matching long words!

That time again

2011-12-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

Christmas wishlist for the year includes:-

1) Wellies (Damien Hirst inspired)
2) The Duck that Won the Lottery (Julian Baggini)
3) More horse figurines
4) Goo Goo Dolls CD (Dizzy Up the Girl)
5) Vladimir Kush works
6) Blueberry frozen yoghurt
7) A Westin Heavenly bed
8) Massage (kinks in right shoulder blade)
9) A Kenwood food processor-mixer
10) Anything Molten Brown
11) A Celtic/Tribal-inspired horse design for my right shoulder blade

Importance of being earnest

2011-11-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

I was about 11 or 12 when I first laid eyes on it. Mum was browsing through the furniture store for a greyscale cabinet and all I could think of was the sculptured horse of transluscent rock but RM700 was a hefty pricetag for an 11-year old. These days I wander round looking for something that might bring back that once-in-a-lifetime stir but though I have seen and added equine pieces to my collection, none have satisfied the way a memory could.

There was a yellow, detached house with hexagon-shaped windows in Hui Sing which I've hankered after since I was 9. When I recall it, I not only remember the double-storey windows and indoor balcony, but also mandarin classes with Mrs Foo and being told that to prepare for a wedding takes a year (a horrifyingly long period of time to a 9-year old).

That's the problem isn't it? For how can anything or anyone compete with a memory? The deceased wife, the loved-and-lost significant other, the smell of flapjacks on a winter's day.

There are many memories I have created by will; the hanging up of a Christmas sock, drinking hot chocolate on a mountain side, sipping tea lounging in a chair, curling up in a remote cafe with a good book but often the memory doesn't feel like what it looks like.

I guess one just has to keep on creating memories in the hope that one day it will feel like what it looks like in my head.

An Un-Day

2011-11-30T11:27:00.000+08:00

Feeling totally emo and snappy and sulky and bla bla bla. Going to wallop a box of chocolates if I can get my hands on one and smear my insides with chocolate until my arteries clog. Feeling Un-Chrismassy, Un-Motivated, Un-Coherent (I am NOT incoherent; just feeling UN). Saying things I don't mean and meaning things I don't say. My mind is going to explode. I need a happy pill. Just want to sleep. When I wake up life won't suck less but sleep will at least trick me into feeling that it doesn't suck more. Unless I get cabin fever. Stupid happy-clappy American song is playing on air. People who are THAT carefree are the serious psychos; not me. I'm normal.

Shrek talk

2011-11-22T14:47:00.000+08:00

An ogre, like an onion, has layers (apparently).

Supposedly a defence against bad-breath and a lousy disposition, what the ogre does not say is this; that it is not the self-rightous beholder in his pathetic tentative steps, a decaying olive branch extended and nose wrinkled, who has made the larger sacrifice, but the beheld ogre himself as he stands, dermis stripped and bleeding, facing those who would pass judgment.

India take 1

2011-11-21T20:29:00.000+08:00

India = Taj Mahal; curry and Slumdog Millionaire.

me: Hey you've been to Delhi right? I'll be going over. Anything good to eat/see?

Abby: Uhmm. Food- all the naans, and the cheeses

me: Indian cheese?

Abby: You doing the golden triangle? ie Delhi, Agra, Jaipur?

me: Didn't know India was famous for cheese. (re golden triangle) Yes! I believe so and 2 more places

Abby: Like the palak paneer?

me: What's that?

Abby: You know.. spinach with cheese. You need to read up on Northern Indian food

me: That's kind of Northern. I thought Delhi was southern...

Abby: OMG! First, go look at a map of INDIA

Distractions

2011-10-25T18:02:00.000+08:00

Cookies are distracting.
Gossip is distracting.
Chocolate is distracting.
Food is distracting.
Hunger is distracting.
Headaches are distracting.
Hearing someone call your name is distracting.
Shopping is a very focussed distraction.
Trains of thought are distracting.
The smell of chicken rice is distracting.
Problems are distracting.
Anticipation is distracting.
The need to pee is distracting.
Thinking is distracting.
Mosquitoe bites. are. DISTRACTING.

Buzzing on caffeine

2011-10-12T14:19:00.002+08:00

Rasa sayang

2011-10-10T11:15:00.000+08:00

“The film Nasi Lemak 2.0 has been viewed with prejudice because the producer (Namewee) had sparked a controversy before,” Finas director-general Mohd Naguib Razak said in a press statement. ~ The Star Online

OMG, I mean forget about it being a true-and-so-damn-funny representation of culture and food and everything we Malaysians love, the only thing those whats-its can allude to is that Namawee and Nasi Lemak is like totally seditious right? The day Mohd Naguib Razak sings Negaraku with as much passion as Namawee and is not ashamed for people to judge him on it, I'll give his opinion some credit.

The peppering of eye-rolling innuendo aside, it was a great watch, bursting in flavour both brash and subtle. Nasi Lemak 2.0 brought together so many elements of stereotypical Malaysian life, combined in a satirical package wrapped with tongue-in-cheek ribbon from the morning tai chi sessions in the park to reviving TV1's Baba Nyonya power "couple" (R.I.P Chee) to Chinese ghosts, Indian dancing, hawker stalls, the 4-wife club, Chinese sifus and family feuds and my personal favourite, defunct Proton power windows and door handles.

I'm sure we all have our personal Kak Noor. Mine's at the Asia Jaya LRT :)

(I forgive Namawee for not including East Malaysia's traditional tribes in Nasi Lemak 2.0 but maybe he can make a sequel called Borneo 0.5 if Pek Moh will let him...)

Taking the midnight train

2011-10-09T16:51:00.003+08:00

It was one of those I-am-going-to-spend-some-time-with-me moments. Having had a Starbucks mushroom struddel and creme brulee macchiato with a window view I took to exploring this town at midnight.

Satok market was still bustling as I turned the corner from Keretapi. I was tempted to stop by to look for dabai but it never stops at one. If I had pulled over, my stomach would certainly have returned home carrying memories of kuih lapis, lekor, ayam panggang, deep fried gizzard, bishop's nose and liver, apam balik, satay, kuih batik AND dabai if I could find any. Crispy fish and lush chips with tangy onion dripping wrapped in a paper bag in the middle of winter would be the London equivalent.

Heading across the Satok bridge I remember that there used to be a pedestrian bridge running parallel to the tarred road but no longer. There also used to be an arena where a round of tibow awaited those game enough to try but these days we hear more of Rempit than Rentap.

As I drove through Petra Jaya I wondered if the old trees that lined the road, providing shade in the day and fancy at night, made even more romantic by lit up spotlights of orange and white and green would soon disappear as their Airport Road counterparts did under the axe and tractor. What are we willing to risk losing in the name of progress? What dare we hold on to in order to step forward?

Passing by the State library I remember the night when Wizard of Oz played on an outdoor screen under the stars; 1Sarawak sitting on a carpet of mozaic with vendors selling burgers and buttered sweetcorn on the side. I remember being grateful that the essence of community is still alive.

Perhaps it is down to poor memory but I don't recall seeing KL roads lit up with emblems the way Kuching does it. Bulbs of red, green and yellow line the streets taking forms of hibiscuses, Iban shields, a hunter with a blowpipe, Diwali lamps, crescents, stars and ketupats. Should more trees be mown to make way for infrastructure, the varying images hanging just under the streetlamp's orange glow is a definite poignant way to acknowledge that just as trees grew where posts now stand, our community was not created by policy or mandate but is natural and alive, vibrant and growing.

It was definitely good to know that at midnight mamak shops near the Indian mosque in town were still open as was Open Air by Electra house. No talk of sio bee being too close to the nasi lemak there! The busy view across river from Gambier Street littered with shimmery bunga manggar around the Astana also told me that the nasi kerabu lady was still going strong. I have not quite been able to find pizza that I like as much as Tom's minced beef pizza which used to be by the playground at Waterfront. Pizza has not quite been the same experience since they closed down/moved. Down Abell Road both Raja Ayam and Shore were piping hot for business. A growl from below told me I hadn't had roti boom (yes "boom!") with chicken and cheese in a while.

The road home was otherwise uneventful although it is no secret that if Kuching roads carry on the way they do, we would have a smoother journey travelling by buffalo, horse or ostrich. I suppose you could say it was a good night.

How are you?

2011-10-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

Loaded question
Default diction
But few really care
About rolling friction.

Fishing hook
Gossip brook
Small talk hoo ha
By the book.

Judge and stare
Think you've got flair?
I'll take you on
Tooth, claw, beware.

Time stands still
Questions fill
The sound of nothing
Nothing fulfilled.

Don't reap, don't sow
Hand off my paw
Walk by in the night
No need to caw.

"Oh, fine thank you!"
A lie to chew
Just tell me straight
Repaid in lieu.

Don't want to talk
Don't talk bout walk
Don't hum the hymn
It's 3 o'clock.

Not that I
Delight in fie
But rather out
Than in with lies.

The way things turn

2011-09-19T12:01:00.000+08:00

Restricted outflow is a symptom that the influx of thought is creating an increasingly overwhelming vortex of jumbled emotion and attempted logic, held together by a flimsy mesh of fading self-control. Being a comfort eater, perhaps now is not a good time to clear the wardrobe of those XXLs...

Salt and pepper

2011-09-02T15:31:00.000+08:00

Need a little salt,
To keep one grounded;
Ground a shake of pepper,
To make things spicey;
Spice a little nice,
To bring sensation;
Sense a little love,
In cooking whoredom.

Embracing Larry (the cucumber ie vegetable)

2011-08-25T14:40:00.001+08:00

If you want to continue eating meat do not look at the PETA website. But since I did, and opened Pandora's box, I've been considering if vegetarianism is something I can pursue. Do I think it is wrong to eat animals? No. Neither from an ethical nor from a religious (and definitely not cultural) point of view. I don't think it is wrong to enjoy a bacon butty or cured ham or turkey pie even if it is proven that my Dijon mustard hot dog has a higher Intellectual Quotient than my pet dog (which isn't be hard to believe). I don't think if it were a sin to kill animals, that God would've said to Noah or the Israelites for that matter, "You may eat... etc." I mean God said to burn the fatty parts of the animals as a burnt offering to Him and boy did He choose the best parts. The most fragrant. I mean really, only God can enjoy fat at every meal and not suffer from high cholesterol and gout.

So if eating meat nor acquiring it by killing the animal per se is not hampering my appetite, what is? My conscience is troubled at the way in which these animals, my food, is raised, is cared for, looked after and protected. I am concerned about their circumstance and welfare prior to becoming a lovely mess of goodness on my plate. Ironically (hypocritcally?) though, short of being skewered with roasted pumpkin and baby onions and chargrilled with butter and lemongrass.

I see pictures of hens in battery cages and see the effects of poultry being injected with hormone boosters to speed growth and production. I see fish squirming on top of each other in stagnant pools. I see the "hands" of crabs being tied and whilst still tied, plunged into boiling hot salted water just so that I can enjoy my butter-oat crab. Somehow, that image doesn't sit right with me. As much as the succulent juicy pieces of good-for-me protein lure with their scent and taste, there is a small part of me that wonders if the animal had been taken care of before it died.

At first I thought of joining the ethical omnivorism clan whereby I would only eat meat products that I knew came from reliable sources; whether wild, well-pastured or free range. Products of deep sea fishing, deer, pigeon, wild rabbits or boars would therefore not pose an issue. Nor would there be an issue (to me) if the birds were allowed to roam, roost naturally and dust bathe. To some vegans, this is hypocrisy as they feel the animal should not be harmed, at all, at any cost. So the fact that I'm saying it's ok to kill the animal is to them a travestry of 'ethics." Then again, ethics is subjective, so what is my ethical preference whilst not yours cannot be deemed wrong unless you have an objective plumbline by which to run it by. In addition, some vegetarians then revert to meat when they fall pregnant for example because they feel "it was right for my body at that point in time to eat meat." Surely that makes them equally hypocritical and more so, it highlights the fact that when push comes to shove, we will put ourselves first at any cost, at all cost.

I'm trying to imagine my life without hoisin duck and three-layered pork and fish and chips... butter prawn, deep fried salted egg squid... kolo mee... and boy, it's hard. Gut wrenchingly so. Literally. My hungry stomach is making noises. Just thinking about kampua mee and not enjoying ngo hiang or bak kut teh or kueh chap anymore is enough to send me into a sugar deprived spiral. Goodbye pepperoni...

But... you might say... if you're still willing to eat meat, it won't mean that you can't have any of this anymore right? That is right... but do you know any ethical farmers around who will kill their half-tonne cow to sell me a 200g slab?

I haven't quite decided to become vegetarian yet but over the years I have come to realize it doesn't mean eating rabbit food or just salad which I thought was what vegetarians lived on; different salads every day; Caesar, Waldorf, Greek. Instead of talking about beef wellington and plum sauce duck for example, I could start talking about stuffed pepper bells with cous cous, spinach and sun dried tomatoes. I could talk about leek and haloumi with brown rice. Or pitta bread stuffed with quorn, spice and greek yoghurt. I can still enjoy pesto. Instead of duck and cherry sausages or Cumberlands, I could have black bean sausages with mashed chick peas. I can still have terung Dayak and terung pipit and nasi kerabu (without the meat). I can still enjoy ulam, buttered sweetcorn and bamboo shoots. I can definitely still have waffles, tau sar pau and egg tarts. French beans or mallow with egg? No problem. I could go on about olive pate, cheese and onion quiche, ricotta pizzas and brocolli with cashew and I can still polish off a whole pack of garlic boursin with water crackers. I can still have french fries.

Life may not be so bad as a vegetarian...

Live and let be

2011-08-23T13:55:00.000+08:00

If bad things hit you like a storm,
Just holler back; don't let it drag.

If people just do not play fair,
Just lift your head and say "Who cares?"

If heads all roll in sink and swim,
Put on a tank and dive right in.

If matters look as bleak as grey,
Just shrug cos it'll pass anyway.

If people just give you the creeps,
Hesitate not; press auto-delete.

If life is sour and above you tower,
Just let it blast and raise that finger.

If life is great then do not gloat,
Next round you'll be in the moat.

If you think I am dissing you
You may be right and "Fuck you too."

Cave exploration

2011-08-21T15:09:00.000+08:00

Caved in and got a Fujitsu laptop. Goodbye Acer. Didn't even name it and getting emotional. Have never been an Apple person and not gonna start now even if they have this to-die-for Bookbook case. But practicality trumps fashion although Louboutin will disagree and I think Apple has too many software applications which aren't available/ compatible and techno and time aren't exactly my best friends.

Caved in and bought a dress at Hills. I keep saying I won't go shopping. I might as well say I'll stop breathing. Mum bought some nice grey-blue patterned cloth and asked if I wanted to make a dress out of it. Already I mentally match a not-even-there-yet-dress with light blue Heatwave wedges. Which means I need a spangly silver cardy to match. Bad.

Caved in and got a Twiiter account. See previous post.

Caved in and spent 15 bucks trying to win a 2-inch wide angry bird worth a dollar fifty. So says Lid. It's now hanging on my rearview mirror. For someone who doesn't care for birds, am getting quite attached to it.

Caved in on Weds night and had pizza.........................

Damn you self-control! The plight of those inflicted with Dionysian madness.

I am a twit :(

2011-08-19T10:25:00.000+08:00

Dictionary: Idiot; mentally deficient or self-defeating person

@abalonedeb says: That's not a very nice thing to say.

Seeing in part

2011-08-17T12:00:00.001+08:00

Reading upside down on bed one night, my attention was somehow directed to a "blotch" somwhere above the cabinet on my apple green bedroom wall. Curiously, I stared at the blotch which looked more and more to me like a woman's face (not kidding!). I even viewed it from different angles and from different distances thinking there was no way this face had suddenly appeared without me realizing it. While Logic was trying to keep a grip, Imagination was running through my mind namely:-

1) Was it a ghost in the wall?
2) Was it a reflection of a ghost in the wall?
3) Did someone die on that plot of land we built our house on?
4) Was someone buried in the ground directly under my bed (I sleep on the ground floor)?
5) Was it a sign?
6) Did the ghost want me to find her?
7) This is like something out of BONES...
8) Where is Seeley Booth when you need him?

I even started taking pictures of the blotch and through the camera lens, it still looked like a woman's face, complete with the shadow that falls across one's cheek when you have a particularly nice nose. Considering that the wall was immediately before my bed, I did not like the feeling of someone watching me as I slept which led me to other mad ideas:-

1) Was the ghost angry at me?
2) Did I do something wrong?
3) Was it really a water ghost I heard the other night?
4) Is there something under my bed?

By then I had whether rightly or wrongly, persuaded myself that there was something definitely fishy about this blotch in my wall. This strange woman's face must tell a story of some sort. Maybe she was a resident ghost and pointed to a brutal murder of some kind (overload of Midsummer Murders). In half panic, half excitement, I reached for my glasses and....

Where was she?

As if by magic, the blotch on the wall disappeared (or appeared) into what it really was: a blotch on the wall.

I was comforted somewhat and not simply by the fact that I no longer housed a resident ghost. In the greater picture of angels and demons, especially given that this month belongs to Hungry Ghost in the Lunar Calender where traditional Chinese and Buddhists venerate the dead to protect themselves from harm, I am reminded that the lifeline thrown by frantic offerings, chants, charms and stricken appeasements is all but an illusion, a blotch, the importance of which will fade away as smoke from joss sticks once the glasses are put on and focus redirected.

Harap maklum

2011-08-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

Menemui sahabatku sekalian yang memahami teks ini yang tidak jauh dari peringatan,

Mengikuti pengumuman JAKIM bahawa mentega Golden Churn telahpun diharamkan antara saudara-saudari muslimin-muslimat kerana dikatakan mengandungi DNA babi, dengan hati yang berat sekali, terpaksalah juga aku mendedahkan bahawa pada malam ini, hasil akibat menikmati sepinggan kueh chap yang enak sekali, DNA babi semestinya telah menular rangkai tubuh ini dan oleh itu, mungkin tidak baiklah, jika kalian menyentuh, bersalam atau memeluk diriku ini. Biarlah tubuhni luput dari perhubungan dan pupus dari peringatan!

(Maaf jika terlalu dramatis; memang susah untuk aku mengerti apalagi menerima bahawa Zaman Keemasan kek lapis Sarawak mungkin telahpun lalu dengan kemangkatan Golden Churn di kalangan rakyat Melayu. Walau bagaimanapun, aku dengan sesungguhnya percaya bahawa kemahiran menghasilkan kek lapis akan terus melangkah depan, samada Golden Churn ada ataupun tidak.)

Semoga Tuhan memberkati kita semua.

Sekian dimaklumkan.

Full service

2011-08-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

Right now I'm thinking of:-

Cheese platter
Doesn't matter what cheese as long as there's boursin and stilton. Serve with water biscuits.

Appetizer
Warm creamy pumpkin-parsley soup with toasted mushroom-garlic bread.

Fish
White tuna lightly pan fried with new potatoes tossed in chunky black pepper and cracked sea salt. Serve with a salad of asparagus, rocket and semi-ripe papaya and drizzled with balsamic

OR

A mixture of firm scallops, crabmeat and large, juicy shelled tiger prawns cooked into a chunky seafood sauce. Serve in a puff pastry basket with spinach and guava .

Main
Wagyu steak minimally drizzled in red wine sauce. Serve with cherry tomatoes and mashed sweet potato and parsnip.

Dessert
Chocolate raspberry torte

OR

Praline ice cream in chocolate trellis

Coffee
With amaretto

Amen.

Piping a tune

2011-08-03T18:56:00.049+08:00

The Pied Piper of Hamelin we all know full well
The yellow gold and crimson tail
The merry tune he calls out sweet
Makes feet-a-dancing to the beat.

Drowning the rodents that fed on the brie,
The townsfolk turned rotten and kept the money,
Very angry did the Pied Piper get
When they drumed him out of town, he turned round and said,

"Though the piper may pipe any tune that he may,
what worth will it have, if no one will pay?
Though the pipe may sing from dawn til dusk,
only a coin in the hat will prove the fuss.
Indeed, he who pays the piper may call out any tune
And the piper will oblige in a twinkle, none too soon."

The people refused, they did not hear
They did not care and they did not fear
They drank and were carefree, until came a time
When music was heard and then something absurd.

History is farce when it calls again
But now it was tragedy though they stop it in vain
The apples of eyes and pleasures of heart
All took off like mice, some singing, some run,
All under disguise, all blinded by one
Who stood at the helm
Decked in blood and the sun.

A day off work

2011-08-01T12:30:00.004+08:00

Heard this on the radio a couple of weeks ago and recently found it online at AhaJokes. Makes one wonder why more people are not skipping to work.

"So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!"

Not such an emo day

2011-08-01T12:11:00.001+08:00

It sits and eats a crumb in hand,
In hand, in paw a morsel to gnaw,
To gnaw, to chew, the raspberry hue,
The colour red popping as all jam tarts do. *Licks lips*

It sits and grins a smile like Cheddar,
Cheddar, or better! Pudding bread and butter,
Oh butter! Oh dream! Oh sink in sweet cream,
How ever could dairy be evil or mean? *Grin*

It sits and twitches, its whiskers unfurled,
Unfurled, unwound, release most profound,
Profound, and wondrous, until so immersed;
The taste of Cadbury; it can't be a curse!! *Dibbledy-dribbledy*

It sits and stares, with wild eye despair,
Despair, and crazed, a wantonnish haze,
Haze and slur, the food starts to blur,
Involuntary ripples runs right through its fur. Brrrr....

Oh food, oh man, oh one of the same,
The same they are, delightful by far,
So far, so near, so timeless, so dear,
That one may relish while the other may fear. Yum yum.

Google doodle

2011-07-31T16:13:00.000+08:00

Will they let me in on this?

Now, really?

2011-07-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

Context: Sex tape video which Anwar was not in (and I am still pointlessly waiting for some Court/Imam to bash the threesome for lying in Court/Mosque).

Source of funny comment of the day: The Star Online

Funny comment of the day: Hishammuddin, in his reply, said that Anwar had ill intentions in uttering malicious words which were later widely reported in the media and the Internet. He said the words were not published in good faith and that the main motive of Anwar was to injure his reputation as a minister and politician.

Why it is funny: Frankly, the dude ruined his own rep

Back to the drawing board

2011-07-24T18:06:00.000+08:00

Creativity in perspective; what may turn out to be a billion dollar idea could very well start off a mere copycat of art imitating life imitating art. We humans never get enough because we can never get enough of ourselves. The sad irony of creative prowess is that it never truly springs from within even though Donald Trump may have you believe so; it may manipulate what is already in the subconscious, it may repackage an old idea or rename a forgotten tradition. Despondency may hardly be a trait associated with creativity, but the brightest minds were often littered with the sugar rush of crack and insanity.

Pottering around

2011-07-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

LP detoured in her epic Asian adventure so that we could cuti-cuti Malaysia so it was only right that I flew over to give her the Tour de KL; it may appear in hindsight that in addition to showcasing the capital, I threw in a few experiences to boot; watching Harry Potter on the big screen being the last of many firsts, the list of which included going up the KL tower, going up the Malacca tower and indulging in a pushing boundaries relationship with my gut in the Berjaya Times Square Theme Park.

There is a certain morbid relief that rises as one is put totally out of control. Screaming aside, the brief time out so far has left me with more questions than answers, more puzzles than solutions, more disillusionment than focus. There are days when I am certain I am close to having a mental breakdown and others when I chide myself for secretly wanting to go down that road. There are days when getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do and yet at the risk of having people once again say that it is mere self-pity or that I have to take control of my emotions, responsibility grabs me by the scruff of the neck and slaps me into assumed normality. There are days when I am convinced I cannot be the only one who feels this way and others when I scorn at my disposition to feel that this battle is one which can only be faced alone.

Who is to say what is right or wrong when the mind is so wrapped up in doubt and warped in oppressed agitation that the only certainty is that tomorrow may be no better than today and that we are to live in spite of the same? People look in from the outside and wonder why I am the way I am; I wonder how I can live with myself. People try tell me I need help but none is actually offered and every breath to try escape feels like a choke to the throat. People say they don't understand but how can I say that everything you want me to be is everything I hate? I say that I don't give two hoots but maybe that's a lie for if I actually stopped caring I might not have to drag this guilt around.

I rage against others but to no more extent than the fury I bury myself into. The shadow of burnt bridges simply reflects the self-destruction that has already happened. And yet against all this I struggle for on occasion I see the horizon and sometimes there is a tunnel in the surf. I strive to tear up the restrictions that perhaps I have put upon myself. The desire to forget limitations beckons every day and urges me to break out of the chute even though the bull may smash my face into a pulp. That living the 2 seconds in the air before crumbling is worth more than spending seasons in the spectator's seat. I may not say everything you want me to say but how can I speak when everything I want you call it foolish. There are days when the resentment build-up forces reactions and lashing-outs I know is wrong and yet the moral compass seems to be indifferent to the wake and imprints I leave behind.

In all this hubristic resentment, that God is angry with me has never been far from my mind. Why wouldn't He be? My puny efforts for betterment are pathetic and would I that He crushed me with His fist than live another moment in mediocratic limbo. In the mounting anger against myself, maybe I am challenging Him, a challenge that He may do well to forget me and let me be done with once and for all. Yet in the midst of seeing life displaced and discarded into irreconciliable pieces, He reminds me that He is not angry and that despite my folly, I am owned though I may not know that I want to be, though I may never know what it means. That like a gut-wrenching roller-coaster, it is only when I am turned inside out and upside down that I know I am secure because He has secured.

Your blood has washed away my sin
Jesus, thank You
The Father’s wrath completely satisfied
Jesus, thank You
Once Your enemy, now seated at Your table
Jesus, thank You
~ Sovereign Grace Music; Worship God Live; Jesus Thank You

As another author put it; I write to express and not to impress.

Putting the arse in sparse

2011-07-15T14:04:00.000+08:00

The headline of Malaysia Encourages More People To Become English Teachers runs foul of reality when we hear that fully qualified English speaking, English teaching locals are being bypassed for "native speakers" paid 6 times more with a red carpet thrown in. Despite The Star's efforts to try educate the masses with fancy idioms and terminology, our Ministers (or is it just the one?) have obviously found themselves confused by the difference between "Native English" with "Native English speaker." Nationality can by no means determine one's fluency. There are Caucasians who speak better Mandarin than I do and by the same token, Malaysians who speak better English than Australians. An aquiline, roman nose, blue eyes and golden curls ala McDonald's curly fries do not language proficiency make but then again our Government's logic has always aimed to baffle. By the way, for all intents and purposes, I am a native English speaker. To try prove otherwise would fall into the same debate as creation science.

Turning tables

2011-07-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

ASSUMING what freemalaysiatoday.com reports is accurate, then a glimmer of hope shines through for UMNO following Khairy Jamaluddin's call for the police to 'fess up. His motives may be questioned left, right and centre, may lack creativity and maybe those in real seats of power will dismiss it as an insignificant "say-for-the-sake-of-saying" incident but at least it shows that people in UMNO can say SOMETHING not completely flabbergasting to normal ears. Read here.

On the other hand, PKR Sarawak just seems to be hopping on the Bersih bandwagon, See Chee How even going so far as to say that we should wear yellow every Saturday until reforms are met. Ummm... no thanks. I also think Bersih "roadshows" is a mockery of what Bersih actually stands for, glamming up a public frustration to look like a political tool akin to commercialising the Rainforest Music Fest. Urban Sarawakians don't need to take to the streets; we will when the ocassion calls for it but we don't need to. We don't thrive on conflict. We don't fling babies out with the bathwater. We don't even (usually) honk when the car in front stops at a traffic light for over 10 seconds whereas in KL just 3 ticks might get you a thrashing. In fact we wonder if the driver has cramped his/her leg or empathize if the vehicle is old or if you're like me, sometimes wonder if the driver has suddenly died. Read article here.

In another article, I guess I'm not the only one who thinks Bersih could have been renamed a "hibiscus revolution." Naturally I would NEVER think that they took the name from my entry just because I posted first hehe. My entry dated July 9 made reference to the "bunga raya" (Malay for hibiscus, our national flower) and freemalaysia reference here. Just another note, in the article, Najib mentioned that he could get 1 million UMNO members to overthrow KL. China has 1 billion. Might be worth noting, if you ignore logistics since I'm ~~not~~ pendatang and all...

And saving the best on the Rally for last, here you can read how my good old chum Rais Yatim is blaming foreign media for "sensationalising" the Bersih rally when it was... say who?? ...who retracted his promise of a stadium where supporters could congregate, called for a virtual lockdown of Kuala Lumpur prior to the rally, who stationed police, water cannons and tear gas around tourist spots, who blocked access to shopping malls, halted economy (so it was the government who stopped people from spending that day and not Bersih, as our tourism minister Ng Yen Yen, who like me can't count, would have you believe) and then made himself scarce.

Rais also said that local media (under the control of Government) had correctly portrayed the event whereas local internet (not under the control of Government - sense a theme?) had not. The only thing he said which made sense and which I agree with was to caution people against Anwar's claims that we were nearing a revolution. Anwar has certainly made this claim too many times. I certainly don't think we are, because I mean c'mon, at heart we are 1Malaysia, aren't we or did Rais not receive the memo?

And by the way the same court that would have metted out the heaviest Government influenced deterrence-excused punishment on Anwar for THAT sex scandal video pinched the wrists of the real perpetrators (one of whom even swore on the Q'uran!!!!!) with a combined total of RM5,500 - that's (takes out calculator) RM1,833.33 each!!!!! [insert expletive] and our wonderful Attorney General is not going to appeal the sentence when he could have called for 3 years in custodial sentencing. So no jail time for perjury. For WASTING taxpayers' money by bringing a fake case to court. For draining resources when Idris Jala has said we're gonna go Bankrupt in 2018 and as a result oil and food prices have gone up.

The other thing that irks me is Malaysian politicians love of using religion to deflect their corruption. Does no one feels like swearing on the Q'uran is worth anything anymore? Where are the Fundamentalists now? Why is UMNO not chastising him for LYING on the Q'uran in PUBLIC??????????? Why am I, a non-Muslim, upset when I don't read or hear Imams or Ustazz or Hajis standing up and saying, "Hey this is wrong. You're misusing our Holy Book. You're blaspheming Allah by swearing lies on his name." Why has there been no undercurrent of anger against those who show contempt for their own god whom they try to propagate and institutionalize and yet when Ibrahim Ali opens his trap in the name of Islam you try justify his blatant and robust stupidity? You want an Islamic state, at least voice out like you believe in the good of it. At least voice out like you believe your god has been wronged.

Someone else with a much clearer head has said this about the whole joke. I agree with the writer in that now we have legal precedent to say that if I produce and promote a pornographic film in Malaysia, earn hundreds of thousands because of it and commit perjury to cover my ass, the Court will only slap me with a RM1,833.33 fine and Parliament will want to screen my production.

The dearth of speeling

2011-07-14T12:22:00.000+08:00

To those who sey spellling is an unessecary waste of time and that it has no place in this geograficly mobill, tekno-savey world, think again. Notwithstanding those who have real and aktual dificulties in reconising seqince of letters and who put the effort in to practice, praktise, practise, asumming that your really didnt give 2 hoots about proper speeling and considred it a truely teribble drakonian affair, hellbent on restricting freedum of expretion, if even you somehow managed to start up a coporation and needed to hyre competant staff, local or otherwise, wuld you realy antrust you're finanshial sheets, reports, marketing strategy, bizniz liasons and reputation, to sumone who spaylt like this? BBC tales me that online bizneses can lose milions in revenew due to poor spelling, a result of too much "am i bovvered, teachur??".

2011-07-11T18:02:00.002+08:00

Our Inspector General of Police Ismail Omar had this to say about the recent Bersih rally:-

"In our attempts to disperse the crowds, the protesters pulled back and started moving towards Stadium Merdeka. However, we managed to foil all attempts to go through our barricades, which were very well managed,” he said.

Malaysia Today further reports:-

Ismail said the protesters had tried to plough through police barricades, forcing his personnel to fire tear gas and their water cannons. However, he stressed that these were done “minimally.”

Well managed? Minimal? As much as we may depend on them in the event war does break out over "Was it tear gas or wasn't it?" these are hardly words one can use to describe the Malaysian armed forces.

Reminiscing the eve of the Sarawak elections, I remembered SWAT like police fully armed bracing themselves for the crows that flooded Stutong. I remember them pushing their way throught the crowds to arrest a speaker for no good reason. I remember that no one in the crowd ambushed them or dragged them down even though they were outnumbered thousands to one. I remember because I was there. I remember because the police were so close that we were probably inhaling each other's oxygen.

The authorities have a way of making us look like hooligans and yet the duit kopi joke stems from their own cowardice and lack of morals. From their boss' reluctance to weed out the rotten apples. From lack of chiding. From poor enforcement. From failed integrity.

Just found this gilarious (gila-hilarious) site: Malaysians Say the Darndest Things.

The reason for Chrome

2011-07-09T19:35:00.008+08:00

[Apologies for the numerous spelling mistakes, a result of skimping on the practice of harnessing one's vocabulary to full effect

Further links to read about here and here and here

Another really good and comprehensive article, if you don't mind the legal jargon here]

I am wearing yellow today. That I'm wearing it on this auspicious day may not mean much in another country (except maybe Thailand) but today, the 9th of July 2011, in this amazing, totally radical and forward-looking country of Malaysia, wearing the colour yellow is tantamount to approving of or supporting the cause of the Bersih 2.0 (bersih is Malay for clean) rally against corruption particularly electoral reform which is often seen as riddled with bribery, dirty tactics and good old obstinance to appoint better leaders. It has also be stupidly declared illegal and an offence to wear yellow today which has absolutely no basis whatsoever. Maybe if faced by police, I'll just streak.

The colour or what it stands for has been so despised by the powers that be that according to Free Malaysia Today, 644 people as at 2pm local time have been arrested at Dataran Merdeka (Independence Square) and 91 people blacklisted from entering the Federal Territory. To be fair, among the 91 black listed, includes my all time favourite, the chavanist, sexist, xenophobe, Jabba the Hut look-a-like, Ibrahim Ali who famously opined that a wife is to blame for her husband's adultery, even using Islam to back his claim, arguing that a wife is expected to “drop whatever she is doing to please the husband’s (sexual) desire.” Even at this outrageous comment, our PM says nothing to publically admonish this [insert expletive times a thousand] and yet he goes all out to prove he still has balls when the people want more than just salt and rice. Am I angry? Damn right I am.

Frankly, yellow is the worst colour I can possibly wear as it clashes with my skin tone making me look more washed out that I can afford to. It would be a timely reminder to authorities on the rampage for a canary-clad scapegoat that yellow is not only the colour that represents this rally but is also the colour that represents our Royal Family and to reminisce the recent state elections, SUPP. I wonder what would happen if our Sultan decided he would quite like to wear his favourite golden songket today or if George Chan (George who?) decided to nostalgically wear his SUPP party tee to the market. It would appear that in chasing alleged culprits, some have forgotten to wipe the mustard off their own faces, leaving a trail of yolk for the spectator citizen to groan at, pulling faces worthy of lemon suckers.

I am not wearing yellow because I support Bersih. I am however, wearing the sun-kissed (I wish) colour in defiance of the shenanigans entered into by the government, police and whoever else in the run-up to the rally. The Bersih rally was not something I had interest in (at the moment, neither Government nor opposition has my vote as that dratted pothole on the way to work has yet to be fixed) however, our beloved Government (led by the wonderful non-sinkable PM)'s superb class act in handling the situation blows diplomacy right out of the amonia waste that leaves a stench in the foggy air.

Briefly, the rally was supposed to be held in various places in the city centre. Further to talks with the PM and Monarch, it was decided that the rally should be moved to a stadium (to avoid PM's buddies worrying if their investments are safe pending a Bunga Raya (or Allamanda, given the colour) revolution I suppose). Oh, by the way, the Bersih organisation was also branded illegal. Maybe we're seen as terrorists in which case, you can be sure which crowd our government will willingly negotiate with. No sooner does Bersih agree to move to a stadium, suddenly all major stadiums within easy distance have something going on be it an impromptu concert or renovation works. A venue in Shah Alam was suggested but having a rally that far away would deny it the impact it seek whilst the Cabinet wonders which second-hand multi-billion toy it should buy next. Today, the venue having been chosen [the venue being the streets since the PM retracted his promise], people are being sprayed with tear gas and water canons for standing up to an ideology they believe in. In addition people are being arrested with no proper charge other than being a threat to national security. What an excellent reason not to come into work on Monday morning.

I do not know exactly the measures and mode taken by Bersih and so cannot condone or rebuke it but what I do is that everytime our cabinet opens their collective mouth, all I hear is noise, lies and arrogance tinged with the panic-stricken realization that hit those who live in darkness; thieves trying to hoarde as much for their old age, to fund their diamond encrusted Tenna diapers before the walls come tumbling down.

This is why today, I wear yellow.

You can read an account (may be bias but what history isn't?) here.
Reporting for The Guardian here

London lurch

2011-06-30T19:40:00.001+08:00

BBC tells me that my High Street staples are almost no more. Goodbye Woolworths. Goodbye OddBins and goodbye my dark moody Thortons. Can't believe that one. Pizza Express also edging down the shute with mozarella. Unbelievable. HMV. Waterstones. Jane Norman. The landscape of London's High Street; may it ever be the same again? Reality-fantasy's love-hate relationship with Primark is fuelled further.

The Awesomest

2011-06-24T10:22:00.000+08:00

See more at http://www.nataliedee.com/

Zombiefied

2011-06-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

When everything and nothing
seem to merge into mess,
and coming and going
seem both grotesque
sometimes a teaspoon of jelly
is all that's needed
to make things stand;
go slow and still
to pause the clock
to enjoy the thrill
that in that unsuspecting moment
in the very ordinary
a teaspoon of jelly
makes for the very best.

BKK the return

2011-06-08T16:18:00.000+08:00

In short, I set out to do the things I wanted to do and would like to return in the future. However, there is a difference between sitting in the equivalent of a chair on the elephant's back and riding an elephant. There is also a difference between touching a tiger that's ~~drugged~~ sleeping and playing with one that knows you.

Thanks to McDonald's, 7-Eleven and Starbucks, one can live almost anywhere in the world without feeling too far away from home and so to a certain extent tourism could simply be a name for an alternate reality of a lifestyle one is already familiar with.

Next stop, Bali.

BKK is here

2011-05-31T14:04:00.000+08:00

Is "relax" something that ever happens? Maybe once in a while. Namely when I'm sleeping on the way to Bangkok. Didn't get round to reading "Bridge Over River Kwai" and am going to look more travel bum that guru but for the moment I need a coffee fix.

Popular Entree

2011-05-29T22:50:00.000+08:00

The Popular Bookstore sale is back! This is what happened at the last one.

The frenzied feeling of grab war was not quite felt as draped in a moss green cardigan the size of Alaska, I shuffled my baby pink Crocs into the hall where the sale was and is as of right now, still taking place. The haunting rhyme of a yet incomplete Submission lingering in my mind, I was unable to identify and swoop upon the books with familiar eagle eye tenacity. Running children irked me and Kenny G playing on the airwaves made me wonder if Popular Bookstore had hired a psychologist who recommended the overrated yet not to be underestimated rhythm which promoted both utter despondency and that fuzzy feeling of purchasing power all in one note.

My only goal last night was to own a few more pieces of Gregory Maguire's fairytale set namely, Lion Among Men and Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. Unfortunately none of Maguire's books made the sale shortlist and I wandered aimlessly wondering if even my brief stint to a paper wonderland could lift my as-a-pig-loves-mud wallowing spirits.

Dismissing, 10 Habits That Mess Up a Woman's Diet (only 10??), The God Delusion (I have enough problems of my own without listening to Dawkins' rant) and a travel book on Thailand (getting lost is that much more fun), I eventually collected a stack comprising amongst others, an Alphabet book illustrated by the famed Spiderwick author Tony DiTerlizzi, a book telling me that Emus Can't Walk Backwards and yet another providing me the answer to Does Anything Eat Wasps? (I am still looking for The Duck that Won the Lottery). I also picked up a much reduced copy of Anna Karenina. I'm guessing people don't like reading tragic-romantic Russian Tolstoy.

In the 'fuzziness' of the moment, I had a sudden urge to make mini meringues with dollops of whipped cream and chestnut puree. Having found no chestnut, I used walnut instead. May the weekend always end in baking happiness.

Not ideal

2011-05-29T00:11:00.000+08:00

Headaches 3 nights in a row. Feet feel like they've got chalk between the toes. Molar is aching. Organs not fed enough oxygen. C'MON BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whine whine whine.

Hibernate

2011-05-27T17:17:00.000+08:00

Going home to knock out for 15 hours so that I can function tomorrow. Unlike superheroes, I am pathetically human and need sleep.

The Trivial God

2011-05-22T17:58:00.000+08:00

When we treat God as spectator and determine that traditions precede relationships, we run the risk of assuming falsely that there is a finishing line waiting for us when the race has not even begun.

When we eat ourselves up and bear our hearts down in presupposed failures and innumerable flawed facets, we ought to remember that God helps those who cannot help themselves.

When we narrow our minds and puff up our pride, religion becomes but a figment of human neediness yet if it were truly so, God could only ever be less noble than the most depraved of human beings.

Why do we always need to see that the gods are in line with our plumb when we carelessly live off tangent in relation to God's?

Better condemned as Frankenstein's creature than exalted as the prometheus creator.

Lock and load

2011-05-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

Sometimes

it is necessary for one

to ignore naysayers

in order for determination to step up

and accomplish things

naysayers never will.

Tonight belongs to nutmeg shortbread stuffed with walnut cream cheese topped with chocolate.

A single burst of approximately 500 calories.

Part of your World

2011-05-16T20:40:00.004+08:00

Imagination never calculates actual ability, current skill, realtime fear or the stalwartness of an inbuilt mammoth refusing to budge, into the equation. Having signed up for scuba diving I was under the mistaken impression that even though I can hardly swim and allow myself to believe that there are sharks lurking in the swimming pool, that swimming in the big "out there" ocean would be a breeze, full of romantic overtures and a lovable mammal. I blame Free Willy.

There are 5 stages to complete in controlled waters be it a swimming pool or shallow bay (approx 2 metres deep) before even stepping out into any sort of depth. I failed to even sniff at the horizon of Stage 1, which I actually find more laughable than distressing. If anything, having the ingrained sense of guilt that every woman owns (even when it's not your fault), I felt sorry for my instructor whom I hope did not despair at having the worst student ever. Incidentally, our instructor's name is Jonas which made me think of Jonah and more importantly The Whale (the kind that eats you). What were the odds, eh?

During the 5 stages we had to run through basic techniques with our equipment under water. I balked at the point we were asked to allow water in through our masks and blow it out using our noses. Firstly, by letting water in, it meant I couldn't see anything. I was working so hard at controlling my breathing that any extra hindrance was simply an overload on my survival instincts. I kept breathing in instead of blowing out so more water rushed in. Coupled with the fact that my mask was still flooded with water, I didn't stop to think about fixing the situation and reaching a solution (which we learnt in class). First things first, my red alert head told me to get my face out of the water. I spent the rest of the day soaking up the sun on a float, getting burnt and throwing up overboard (a sea-worthy first).

Given that the course is such that I can complete it at my own pace even though the first time went so disastrously wrong that I think Jonas will swim to Ninevah rather than teach me again, what has this tiny stint in scuba taught me and what will I do from now on?

Firstly, I need the spend more time in the pool. I need to build up stamina and learn not to panic. I also need to learn to disregard my nose. When that's all sorted I need to learn that having my head underwater for extended periods of time is ok. How I go about this I'm not sure but if I plod along surely enough, I might get to see a mermaid yet.

Bodyworks

2011-05-13T01:14:00.000+08:00

It's nearly 2am and I will probably regret this tomorrow but the coke keeps running in my system keeping my mind awake even as I crave rest and the cold sheets are calling with its faithful song. If things go to plan I'll be scuba diving this weekend and for someone who only hit the water 2 weeks ago after an approximate 5 year break, a little bit more than man-eating sharks is on the mind. Water is hardly my "thing." There is no actual excitement at hand, no pent-up desire derived from this other than the practical accumulation of skill and experience. So why bother?

There are enough self-abasing defects for me to harp on if I genuinely wanted to give myself a heart attack. That my feet have low arches is just one from a string I could rattle that go all the way from the common spider vein, jelly-belly and chipped tooth to psychological warfare that personifies as night terrors in the mind. Who can understand or comprehend the horrors any one mind can summon? Who can fill the void of early mornings in the aftermath of chained slumber, when waking brings with it into the new day the memory of loss?

Some cut. Some starve. Some purge. Some eat. Some disengage. Some run themselves to the bone. Some drink. Some burn. Some shop. Some rage. All try to desperately block out the white rush of noise of a saturated world, bored with its own destructive cycle. Maybe the edges that I throw myself toward are my way of beating hidden demons. For now, it is seen as foolishness, as irresponsible, as irrational. One day those edges will become the edge that build rather than destroy. Herodotus said, "It is better by a noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what may happen." One day.

After all that morbid talk, my body is still running, still holding my gut together, still living. Pretty damn amazing.

Wiks in Pics

2011-05-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

I thought being brunette was getting boring so Blondies it was.

Mabel's strawberry chocolate butter cake with fondant from Bakery de Borah

Supersized Vienesse "fingers"

I didn't make this; sup tulang opposite Swinburne University

At 50 years of Independence, we have the New Testament in BM; at 54 years of Merdeka it all goes to pot :( Do the adopted symbols of Malaysian pride and dignity on the cover mean nothing anymore?

Direct translation: God so cherished the people in this world until He gave His Son the only, so that every person who believes in that Son will not be destroyed but gain life true and forever. (John 3:16)

Christian State won't affect state of Christians

2011-05-11T18:40:00.002+08:00

Words escape me. The alleged discussion to plan a coup has certainly exposed to tinted-glass Malaysians that anyone can be quoted out of context whether it be dim-witted cabinet ministers or foolish Christian leaders. With chagrin I have to say that Penang throwing its hands in the air saying "it wasn't me!" sounds a lot like many other factions we complain about. That the Penang Assemble ban Utusan from reporting at the next State Assembly also brings back memories of the sandbox. We have all heard how Utusan's job-on-the-side is making things sound as incredibly unbelievable before publishing. Could the Penang Government not have given written notice to Utusan and revoked Utusan's license over time and recorded wrongdoings? This knee jerk response does not sit well and leaves me wondering whether Ubah can converse like an adult.

Despite the 'outcry' that Christians are being 'matyred' once again (that is actually what you sign up for you know; that Merc in the porch is a bonus), I for one can certainly imagine pastors and leaders praying for a "Christian Malaysia" and mean it in all sincerity and reverence. I myself considered the issue in high school, contemplating whether the "right" government by any Biblical standard had to be a "Christian goverment"; albeit a theocentric but not theocratic one. If Christians and Muslims alike see their creed and religious way of life as the be all and end all then having a "Christian Nation" would be no different to having an "Islamic" one; it would be less of a juxtapose than you really think.

Even more so, we are NOT an Islamic state and non-Muslims are not bound by Syariah. In the same way, even if everything Islam were to be replaced by Christian terminology, references and benefits in the Constitution, non-Christians would not be bound by "Christian Laws." In the spirit of Christ, you would not be able to overthrow governments and evil by changing the externals and/or of infiltrating a corrupt system.

Have you not heard that new wine that fill old wineskins will burst the dam?

I am annoyed by Christian leaders who allow themselves to get carried away without discernment. Those babble like the pagans and dull their mind with mouldy theory of text they do not take to heart. They balk when any breath of "Islamic state" is mentioned but justify themselves in a public spectacle that causes more confusion than peace. Yes, understandably, many things could have been taken out of context but it is one's responsibility to guard one's tongue and to bear the consequences for foregoing that responsibility.

What is most telling is that the Christian leaders at the meeting in Penang betray that there are leaders who are guiding Chrsitians in this country who have forgotten that we do not need a physical state within which we glorify our Saviour. Christians need no geographical pilgrimmage; neither Utah nor Jerusalem nor Meccah and no shrines of Vishnu or Buddha or even Mary. The kingdom of God is only found in islands or coasts or continents to the extent where His people are found. The church is the kingdom of God, not the building or steeple or baptismal pool. There is no explicit mandate to transform governments or remodel tax structures. No mandate even, dare I say this, to say that we are to dissent when our children are forbidden to bring pork to school.

Perhaps the leaders have been taken out of context. There is nothing wrong to pray against corruption, to speak up and out against its follies and vicious effects. What is wrong is when through a wrong understanding of scripture; when interpretation is twisted to run foul of its intention; when meaning is disregarded for popularity; when historical context is denied; when the centredness of the here-and-now takes precedence over God's timeline; that faith is seen to be of little value, to be ridiculed and rubbished as puffery of the human mind.

There is a fine line between legal right and moral right. That your moral right is only upheld where there is a legal right in place is hard words to hear for those under oppression but undoubtedly justified to the hearers of Self, Me, Myself and I which again, lives in each one of us. Then again, there are religious laws that tell us we have no right except the right that we render to God.

Perhaps I could better provoke a response by parading around Bukit Aman with a tee linking Penang to the Pope.

Too hot to handle

2011-05-09T08:55:00.000+08:00

Kuching has been hit by hot spots spiking off the charts with little wind to regulate the humidity. If he had to endure similar (or probably worse) scorching situations, I'm starting to not just know but FEEL why Jonah felt very uncharitable towards Ninevah. Maybe Jonah should have googled pictures to lull himself into a mirage and thereby lowering his body temperature. The following could have helped:-

As seen at doodleandhoob

Think MBKS will let us do this at the Waterfront? Picture from TheEpochTimes

Desperate times call for... at scrapetv

Actually, whether facing intense heat or chilling rain, the best reprieve is always:-

Other tips and tricks at House into Home

Horribible

2011-05-06T09:35:00.000+08:00

Pronounced horri-bee-ble and not horri-bible.

Used when one has not had any coffee in the morning, noted to-cry-for spelling mistakes in previous posts and dreamt of marauding dogs last night.

This is horribible, terribible...

Settled dust

2011-05-05T20:28:00.000+08:00

Elections are over. Results have been announced. Now what?

I dreamt several nights ago that I was at one of DAP's ceramahs but this time round there were plastic chairs offered and noticeably fewer people (as opposed to people being jam packed like sardines with hardly any breathing or standing space). Save for the speaking screaming into his microphone, people who were there appeared largely reluctant and disinterested.

What I want to know is, where are the committees they said they would form? Where are the service centres? Is there even a timeline? For example they could say that by end of June they would have recruited sufficient volunteers and by end of August a physical service centre would be officiated. I think as citizens and fellow members of our respective constituencies we need to firstly understand the powers, limited or otherwise that our elected representative holds. Can he or she call for and act to bring about actual changes in our day-to-day lives?

I noted that just prior to elections the traffic lights hosted machinery ready to widen the road and possibly commence work on the long-awaited flyover. What I want to know is who was responsible for getting the job started. Due to a stream of sewage repairs, the bumpiness of our roads, especially in the Padungan area could rival that of a by-road in Mulu. One particular drain near the resilient apolitical (or hypocritical considering it was supporting every party yet none) Cat Statue has been spewing water since Monday. Is it within Wong King Wei's jurisdiction to quickly sort out that mess? Or what of the City-Tabuan Jaya route along Foochow Road? Will there be any plans to widen that road or what of the Pending-Stutong road that brings us past the smoke snorting CMS factory? When will the 4-into-1 bottleneck be looked at?

Gah. Maybe perceptions need to be changed instead of merely appearance.

Singing the Song of Sng

2011-05-05T18:00:00.002+08:00

Having taken a hiatus to indulge in life away from the brain drain of Malaysian politics, I am back with new clothes, renewed realism and rebounded from my on-again-off-again relationship with dieting. I think at the moment it's "on" as long as there is no real pressure to commit.

I wonder if George Chan is flexing his muscles these days now that he's no longer the CM's Chinese lapdog. I wonder if Ms Foo is attending May(day) parties in glitz funded by disintegrating heart machinery in a white elephant hospital that Dr Sim so proudly confessed to having persuade our PM to initiate. I wonder if Violet and Dr Sim are looking at drains together. I wonder if Dominique Ng will restore his blog which he removed after having lost in the last State elections. I wonder if anyone has looked at the healthy and safety issues behind the Bengoh Dam. I doubt it. Last week I was told that the reason Mr let's-blame-the-rain-and-close-one-eye-to-my-boss'-illegal-logging Len Talif was retained in his Forestry position was because he had carved a rep for himself as the best liar. The Rajang issue is still sitting sore and my emotional blisters will not be appeased until Len and James Masing start emptying their pockets to environmentally butress the banks. For freakin sakes Len, you are the effin environmental guru aren't you????????

Someone I spoke to today was of the opinion that politics should extend beyond social concern to invest in workable and structured visions of economic and political growth in social stability. Unfortunately, it appears that our politicians do a poor job in indulging in either. The last politician deemed to be a visionary is now lumped with his second sodomy charge and a sex scandal. I may render Singaporeans boring and homogenous (no, that does not mean gay) but at least their infrastructure is top notch. Cronyism may prevail but their equivalent of our Council houses are painted by the Government and I bet you their potholes are fixed. However, it is easier to clean a one bedroom pad compared to ranch with rolling acres of virgin forest so wide that people still think we live in trees.

What does this have to do with Larry "the Cucumber*" Sng? I'm not sure. Yet. He is supposedly new blood that the State needs. Supposedly. You are however, the company you keep and the list of cumbersome people to which he will be affiliated have roughly been listed and I haven't even gotten to the scum (except maybe Len, who is my personal bone to pick). I haven't quite decided which category he should fall into. Businessmen can become politicians; look up Donald Trump in the papers but unlike countries with a semblance of integrity (not that the US of A tops the list anyway) as far as Malaysia goes, the inevitable 'Whatever minger" disdain comes out to play at the suggestion. If I see the Sng in person, what I really want to know is, what did he make out of those airport trees being hacked down by his wife's daddy? Who cares that his/in law's home is allegedly built using airport parts. A house that gaudy he can keep.

I don't think he's even a YB at this stage but that's probably another political move to open doors without stepping on too many toes. He has a degree from LSE but then Rais has a degree from King's College (Lord, help me). Georgie is now sitting in the penalty box for kissing too much ass at the people's expense. But it looks like there are never enough in the wings. Taib must have a thing for chinese poodles. Lucky for him, in Malaysia they breed everywhere.

* Larry the Cucumber is a character in the hit children's series VeggieTales

Yay it's not just me!!!!!

2011-05-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

1) On the Shadow Cabinet (BONUS POINTS for accountability)
http://www.barubian.net/2011/05/sarawak-pakatan-forms-shadow-cabinet.html

2) On James Masing and "goodies"
http://www.barubian.net/2011/05/masing-spews-sarcasm-over-shadow.html

3) On Crossing the Racial Divide
http://www.barubian.net/2011/05/prove-youre-multiracial-sarawak-pkr.html

Love is...

2011-05-04T18:28:00.000+08:00

Salivate along with Tuscany Grilled Lamb at LeSpice

Keep moving

2011-05-03T18:54:00.000+08:00

Keep dreaming

2011-05-01T14:12:00.001+08:00

It has been almost a week since my last post but alas it has not been spent sleeping (much) or watching Bones (save for 2 episodes). At least I have been baking somewhat... feeling tetchy. Kind of like this:-

Found at http://guildmum.com/2010/09/cataclysm-beta-pile-of-donkey-poo.html

Doing nothing

2011-04-24T16:43:00.002+08:00

A week of sleep would be nice. A week of sleeping, baking and watching Bones reruns. I feel sleepy just thinking about it.

Just stop

2011-04-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

Some politicians in Sarawak have argued that to allow the politics of West Malaysia into the Hornbills' Nest is to bring in bad blood, racism, segregation and distrust.

I think the main culprits who have have actually managed to inculcate that ridiculous notion in their lives are the very same people who say it needs to be kept out.

What happened a common humanity? What happened to a shared vision? To use the Government's agenda, what happened to 1Malaysia? To get the ball rolling, maybe we should make it a mandate that any one person in the DUN or Parliament has to come up with bi-monthly proposals for the benefit of other races in his or her constituency other than the race(s) to which he or she belongs to.

Don't stick that finger in the air yet talk about racial representation. Just stop. You'll soon find that to your hypocrisy, another finger will be stuck in the air.

Depends how you phrase it

2011-04-21T13:09:00.001+08:00

rotund corpulent stout barrell

voluptuous round robust spherical

bulky hefty hulk chunky

curvaceous heavy plump stocky

girth trunk solid mass

firm fat filled-out big

soft chubby tubby belly

bulbous padded meaty jiggly

tough full-cream insulated fluffy

Zoloft, Xanax and Prozac

2011-04-21T12:01:00.001+08:00

After feeling extremely guilty for berating Zoloft and reading up on animal behaviour and psychology and concluding that by chewing my shoes my dog either a) loves me very much; or b) is bored; or c) needs more affection, I went to Amazing Pets to buy a nylon beef flavoured "bone" as an "I'm sorry" to my dog who probably doesn't even remember that he's chewed through 7 pairs and even left one outside the neighbour's house. Not one to waste, the shoes I'm wearing to work these days have got sand crab like holes in the left heel. Zoloft was happily chewing on his bone all night, the shoes were brought into the house and I thought problem solved. A happy dog makes a happy owner.

Unfortunately this morning my Pai Mau @ Brownie decided she wanted Zoloft's bone for herself and promptly took it away from him even though he's twice her size. Poor baby. He looked positively miserable, beseeching me with his sad little face to rescue his only non-shoe chew toy but when it comes to Brownie, there is little that can be done. In my over-sentimental personification of animals, taking the bone away from Brownie would be equivalent to putting her in an Old Dogs' Home. I'm in a catch-22 situation with guilt in both corners.

There is only one thing left to do. Buy another chew toy and try feel less guilty for the rest of today.

Driving Pemandu

2011-04-20T16:17:00.000+08:00

In my "News Bites" entry below, I flagged the 1Malaysia Email project as a waste of Government funds. Today in the news, the Performance Management and Delivery Unit (Pemandu) stated that it was a private venture. Yeah, the way CMS is private right?

Also, it noted the following, "This is an alternative secured mode of communication between the government and the people."

Sorry if I really don't think any form of digital function or medium provided by the government is secure.

I'm trying not to shoot every idea down with venom but there is a deep and widening history of mistrust between Head and State.

Zoloft not working

2011-04-20T08:51:00.000+08:00

This morning shoe casualty number 7 greeted me. I went berserk and now I feel guilty and will buy Zoloft a doggy treat later and keep my shoes inside the house in a box from now on cos he just won't learn. Feeling blue.

News bites

2011-04-19T17:23:00.003+08:00

This was never meant to be a political blog but given the trend of late, the creature of change seems to have snuck in through the back door resulting in more and more posts on Government policies. I hold that whilst politics may be the flavour of the day, soon I may come round to blogging about food again.

Briefly, I think the 1Malaysia Email Project is another waste of Government funds and taxpayers' contributions. What 18 year olds need is not an email account but the means to access it. Come to think of it, I don't know of many 18-year olds who have internet access who don't already have an email account, or several for that matter. Why have an email account boring.person@1malaysia.com.my if you can have freakinawesome@internationalserver.com? In any case, even if an email account is provided for FREE with no hidden charges (which would make it more expensive than gmail, yahoo and hotmail which offer multiple email accounts absolutely FREE) how on earth will Mr Farmer on Kelapa Sawit Plantation access or afford it if the modem, computer and telephone/satelite were not free as well? Economic transformation? No wonder Idris Jala predicted national bankruptcy.

There has been talk of possibly allowing SUPP into the DUN by changing legislation to accomodate nominated members of the DUN in addition to the elected members. I emphatically hope that the Government and Legislative arm make no such move. PBB senator Idris Buang (I am restraining making personal comments on his surname which in English translates as "throw") raised the issue but so far SUPP has been reluctant to consider the option. Abdul Karim Rahman Hamzah, who also raised the motion to pass the White Paper to which I provided my opinion here and here, said that, “There should not be any “back door” entrance just to accommodate the Chinese community in the Cabinet. The Chinese community has voice out loud and clear that they do not want representative in the government, so we must respect their decision.”

As with the White Paper issue, I'm never quite sure whether this dude is for unity or against it or just doesn't get the point. Yes, it is correct that there should be no back door entrance. I fully agree with that. But what I don't understand is this continual division of race that implies a non-Chinese cannot stand up for a Chinese in Government. I thank him for respecting the decision of the people but I hope his veiled threats are only down to poor reporting from Borneo Post. Pandi Suhaili fares no better stating, “However, it is clear to all of us that the Chinese community only want representatives in the DUN and not in the government. Therefore, all of us should respect their decisions.” Thanks Pandi for respecting our decision but don't make it sound like the Chinese want their own island. Pleaselah there was a reason we left China (if China must be brought into it). Who can we go to for all the ketupat, masak hitam and nasi kerabu then huh?

I understand that Borneo Post is hardly the most reliable of sources, making devils appear to be saviours and painting calvary to look like an occult however, it is worth noting their brief report here if only for information's sake.

A reply

2011-04-18T20:30:00.001+08:00

I read a comment in Malaysian Chronicle by one "Rosmah" which I dislike. For whatever reason, I couldn't put my reply up on the site so I'll publish it here. Rosmah's comment followed by my intended reply.

Monday, 18 April 2011 12:27 posted by rosmah says

thank you sarawakians...now taib is really laughing all the way to the bank.,.coz he's going to take geroge chan's portion as well..

you sarawakians keep complaining the unjustice and corruption by the BN faggots, but you also failed to unite to vote them out...

If you don't help yourself, how do you think others can help you? Others can only do so much...

Now another 5 years of taib's shit going put on you as his way to say "thank you" for not taking him out...

You sarawakians had the best chance, but failed...

Now you watch what najib and rosmah are going to do on federal level...

all the promises they've made to you during the campaign triail, I bet you that you'll be lucky to get 1% of what's been promised to you!!

======================

"To Rosmah (18 April): Your comment is incredibly ungracious and exposes naivety and lack of understanding of the levels of poverty and inaccessibility to basic rights (such as running water and education) let alone Internet acess many Sarawakians in the interior face. I can only imagine you come from a city in West Malaysia judging from the "you sarawakians" slur. Forget Muhyiddin and his "Levels of poverty in Sarawak is only 3%" which is utter nonsense. The dire lack of many communities is something few see and fewer still can imagine.

In the city we laugh when the government hands out washing machines to try win our favour but there are villages that are still without electricity who are living literally kais pagi makan pagi. Can you blame the uneducated and marginalised for thinking they owe the Government their vote when BN comes with a bag of 50kg of rice for their families? BN needs to buck up and realise that well-informed citizens will not stand to be lied to anymore. PR on the other hand needs to realise that ceramahs and dialogue won't win the interior. Why care for philosophy when your children are starving?

The cities have spoken in case you have not realised, sweeping SUPP as the Peninsular swept Gerakan before and although not 2/3 majority, the Opposition has certainly put a dent in the confidence of BN. However, what is more important is a reformation of policy not the chaotic over-throwing of an entire government. Do you really think that PR is ready to handle the intricacies of Sarawakian politics? There are constituencies that are larger than states in the Peninsular. This is not to say that Sarawak is better, only that unprepared and unsuitable candidates, whether from PR or BN, will be swamped by the poor infrastructure that simply does not correspond to the land mass. If BN continues to weaken, PR will emerge as the sole power which brings us right back to square one.

Ultimately, the election results are positive yet moderately leaning towards a two-party system. Hopefully, in this slightly more challenging playing field, politics in general will take a turn for the better which is what we all want."

Dr M and his cloud

2011-04-18T18:59:00.000+08:00

Dr Mahathir is hiding behind a cloud of ignorance. Once our Premier, he now grapples for attention by providing shallow, inaccurate and bandwagon comments that reek of ill will and backward thinking. The Bapa of Malaysia and his 2020 vision didn't foresee 2018 Bankruptcy, submarines that don't sink and people who have started to think for themselves.

Reported by Free Malaysia, I decided to scout out our former PM's blog to verify the audacious statements that clearly reflect the mind of someone who has lost touch with reality.

1) That he has congratulated our current PM (for handing out free Tupperware) is laughable. BN also clearly by Dr M's standards, had "good supporting staff" whereas PR's West Malaysian support were branded dissenters the whole election period.

2) Dr M was trying to be sarcastic when he congratulated DAP for bringing race based politics to Sarawak. Dr M should look in his own backyard. He also thinks that anyone who doesn't agree with him and his precious UMNO is racist by the unifying token that he is Malay. Pleaselah, that's so old school.

3) He thinks that by voting for DAP, the Chinese community are selfish and have rejected multi-culturalism. He says that we have been infected by the virus of Chinese racism. If he continues talking about Chinese racism I'll go learn Mandarin so that I can swear at him with full effect in this clearly racist language. The abyss that is Dr M's detachment from reality, widens.

4) "Chinese who reject DAP are considered non-Chinese by DAP." Please qualify your statement with examples and fact. What about Malays who reject DAP? Or Indians? Or Bidayuhs? Are you saying that they are considered non-Malay/ Indian/ Bidayuh too? That's a bit ridiculous, don't you think?

5) "Malaysia faces a grave danger of being divided into 2 parties." Oh dear, I guess that means the USA, Australia, UK and oh wait,almost every other first world country is squirming in political disaster. We must send Tun Mahathir over to educate them.

6) "Malays in DAP are just window dressing." Dr M is just upset he didn't get an invitation to stand in as window dresser. I wonder what Zeti thinks about this... Dr M is essentially calling her dad a mannequin.

There are other points that follow that threaten to ignite a string of vocabulary usually saved for people who don't signal when changing lanes so I will refrain from commenting any further. Go read it for yourself.

That humdrum feeling

2011-04-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

More can be found at Nataliedee

Taking stock

2011-04-17T17:28:00.001+08:00

The 10th Sarawak Elections are finally over with Taib being sworn in as CM for another term. Most of my "favourites" including Masing and Talif have managed to wrestle their stay in the next state government however, casualities in the form of SUPP in general and George Chan in particular paid the price of the Reds vs. the Blues. I'm satisfied that at least one-third of the Terrible Three in light of the Rajang issue has been shown the door. Time to unravel the carpet.

BN's victory of 55 seats has come at a cost as the rejection of SUPP by Sarawakians mirrors the rejection of Gerakan in the Peninsular. BN may claim to be Satu Malaysia but they are slowly and surely alienating the Chinese voter.

It really doesn't have to be this way.

BN and SUPP can really, really make use of this opportunity to redeem themselves by fulfilling promises made pre-April 16 regardless of whether one is crowned MP or YB. When will they learn that it is not the title that matters when one's reputation is in tatters already. They can use this chance to be gracious in their loss and learn from mistakes. One does not need to sacrifice political allegiances in order to make a change but in a political culture where MPs are less game yet desire more fame, it seems most BN members will prefer to lick their wounds in hiding and hide their puffed eyes in caves, sulking in injured pride until the next Election when they emerge in droves and make false promises again.

I really hope the Sims of SUPP keep to their word. I'm sure even the government would sooner bring their plans to fruition even though they lost by significant margins, to be used as ammo in the Parliamentary elections than assist the Opposition who virtually swept clean the city seats. Kudos to PR and special mention goes to Chong Junior, who despite approximately 4,000 reported pro-BN votes set against him, emerged the victor against Alfred Yap with whom I have no love lost. Also kudos to Batu Lintang voters who did not swallow hook line and sinker, BN's threats that electing Chee How who is from the PKR @ Keadilan faction of PR was tantamount to inviting an Islamic state into Sarawak.

For me personally, the shock of success from a united democratic voice is still reverberating. We actually have the two legal front-runners for Native and Human Rights now sitting in the DUN in the form of Baru Bian and Chee How together with a host of other lawyers from Kuching to Miri. That's huge. That is the best present we have given to our rainforest and her inhabitants. The law has been made a fool of and mucked up in so many places but perhaps now its dignity can be restored and people's trust in it renewed. Real representation. Real chance. Real protection. None of this "We are helping you develop your land so too bad so sad if your Rajang dries up."

The bittersweet smell of having ousted the playground bully has left a vacuum in playground politics and for Kuching especially, I really hope DAP lives up to its call of change and continues to stand in the face of stifling oppression from the government. Many fear that the government will now come down hard on Sarawak's cities as backlash against the cities' retaliation of back-handed cronyism namely, on the Chinese community. I hope that the governement wouldn't. Not because I'm afraid (one can sufficiently survive on yams) but because against, as I mentioned above, this will be a good time for the government to rethink its employment of accepted corruption and execution of policies. This will be the time not to step into the slew of mistakes acted and reenacted by Gerakan in the aftermath of their defeat. I do know however, that yes men know no other way to behave accept to meekly subject themselves to the powers that be even if it means surrendering themselves for extinction. The cheerful pessimist in me is nevertheless braced for the worst.

I hope that PR collectively takes from this outcome, not just the relief of knowing the cities are won, but knowledge and experience to convince the rural areas. They are not going to be persuaded by rhetoric they don't understand or by quoting Auden.

Incidentally as a literature enthusiast I MUST tell you that at BDC on 15 April 2011, Anwar quoted, "Things fall apart;the centre cannot hold" as a phrase from Auden when it's a phrase from one of WB Yeats' more famous poems, The Second Coming, which I studied for A-Levels.

Just because they are less educated does not mean their vote counts less. This is democracy. Different issues to be tackled. Different goals. Different tactics. Different priorities. Different game plan. Let the brain storming begin.

Today's the day

2011-04-16T14:27:00.000+08:00

If you're reading this, are a registered voter for Sarawak and have time to get to your polling station, please go. For whichever party it is you think should be at the helm, please vote. If you are not registered for this Stae Elections, please ensure you register for the Parliamentary one.

PTP - Points to ponder

2011-04-15T18:41:00.009+08:00

The battle is at its climax and to use a wrong quantifying term, is massively exciting (massive actually refers to tangible mass fyi). Campaigning ends at 12 midnight and tomorrow sombre polling will take place. The crowd at BDC was the biggest I've ever seen at a ceramah to date yet I hear crowds in Miri are on average 10,000 strong. For those who know Kuching geography, people were parking as far as Hijau to be at the talk in fron of Stampark. DAP ran out of Ubah, the hornbill mascot, 3 days ago. My good intentions to go to a BN ceramah simply couldn't materialize as sure-fire rounds of Opposition ceramahs filled the Schedule. Let it be known that there were actually times I went to bed smelling of smoke, without first taking a shower.

Some thoughts on parties, policy and people before this gets wrapped up tomorrow.

RPK - Don't knock the SD until you have actually read it here else you'll just be part of the rumour mill
Raja Petra Kamaruddin @ RPK - the infamous blogger hailed as the defiant underdog is now made to look like he is cowering away in Perth. Sporting a French beret cap from the safety of Australia, he shoots down de facto PKR leader Anwar Ibrahim for lying to him and retracts his Statutory Declaration implicating our current PM and wife in the murder of Mongolian model, Altantuya. Several things come to mind instantly. People who retract SDs should not be trusted and RPK's ostentatious beachy life has been paid for under the table, but that would clearly be jumping to conclusions.

On the other hand, when was the interview? And why release it now at the peak of war? Have we forgotten that special trip to Taiwan or do we like dogs, retch and then return to our vomit and wonder why we're being treated like dogs? Report here and here.

Just to make things clear, if you read the SD carefully, he never said that our dear PM's wife was present when Altantuya was blown up. He said he was reliably informed hence he never retracted his SD and has not contradicted himself. Naturally pro-Government institutions would choose to leave "unnecessary" words out, right?

Blaming Islam
BN's attempts at creating fear of Islamization is clear from their election banners. One reads "Say no to Islamic State" implying that if Sarawak voted for the Opposition, it would be turned into an Islamic State. Pity BN didn't consult lawmaker Ibrahim Ali first. Since he's SO SMART and all. See just how smart here. Just to recap, Sarawak will never be an Islamic State under the tiny piece of paper known as the Constitution and secondly, Islam is not the issue. I've blogged briefly on this before here. Should I ever get the chance to attend a Government sponsored event, let's just see how the organisers feel when I start brandishing my wushu sword around.

Pai Mau @ Taib @ White Fur
Thinking absently about the content of the DAP ceramahs this week, I was looking at my dog Brownie today. Incidentally she is white and fierce and hugely protective of her territory even though she is aging. My other dog Zoloft is twice her size but is scared of her as she terrorized him since he was a young 'un. To my alarm, I thought dear, old Brownie could be the literal Pai Mau of my home's doggy world.

Padungan, Pending & Progress
I watched Sim Kiang Chiok (BN) on the news last night where he was sharing his game plan to help Padungan prosper. Dr Sim Kui Hian (BN) for Pending also revealed his proposal for a Health Metropolis in Kuching. If these two can actually bring about 80% of their plans, it will be a good step forward indeed. It is especially refreshing to read that Dr Sim intends to invest in talent and intellect, which is a step out of the box for any BN candidate. However, amidst the promise of progress and infrastructure, I want to know, will this project be an open tender or another opportunity to fill bursting wallets? I wonder if the Sims thought about that.

I also want to know what Dominique Ng can claim as his legacy in Padungan. He only seems fond of having his name in print.

Fighting Factions
Mussolini, Stalin and Hitler all had to exert themselves to counter the tension arising naturally from forming Coalitions. Sadaam had to suppress racial riots because political lines were carelessly drawn by the West. The Dude who built the Great Wall of China had his share of problems keeping the real Middle Earth (sorry Tolkien :p) together. In a way we have to be grateful that with the exception of May 13, we have lived largely in peace with each other and some credit has to go to the Government because of that.

Last night Anwar mentioned that there were arguments within the Opposition Coalition because there were a lot of dynamic and opinionated people in the group. We know this for a fact. The West Malaysian combination of Anwar, Kit Siang, Karpal, Tok Aziz and Guan Eng would create a combustion worthy of Einstein. However, iron sharpens iron as the tried and tested adage goes and debate is a good way to keep mental faculties in check to expose loopholes and defect of opinion which one may not notice otherwise. The presence of debate does not mean the absence of unity. The Government however harps on this 'faction fighting' by saying that a bickering Coalition is an unstable one and has amongst its election posters stated that although they (the Governement) appear to fight each other, they are united for the people. I verily belief this to be ~~bullshit~~ ~~crap~~ untrue. The Chinese Ministers that supposedly represent me make me glad to be a banana that I may distance myself from their stereotype as far as possible. The only thing we have in common is pork and minyak kapak.

Race & Religion
I blame our Constitution for holding that every Malay has to be Muslim. I am not saying that Malays are unwilling Muslims; not at all. But the refusal of accepting that Malays are allowed to hold different beliefs is restricting human rights at its highest level. That is also the unfortunate basis for many race and religion based politics and policies and also the reason why the population of Malays ties in so heavily with the population of Muslims. Imagine if the constitution were to say that to be Chinese is to be Buddhist; Indian - Hindu; Iban - Polytheist; Kwai lo/ Ang Mo - Christian. Imagine the Hindu equivalent of JAKIM assaulting an Indian for eating a Big Mac or imagine an Iban beheaded for choosing to worship one God instead of 20.

It is one thing for there to be a natural religious trend ie in Ireland where the North is Protestant and the South is Catholic, but to have it enshrined in Constitution is a mockery of human rights. What if the Constitution were to say every Melanau woman has to go through gental mutilation or that every Kayan male has to wear loincloth only? It is as offensive as that.

Bad Drivers
Whichever team makes Governement tomorrow, I doubt they'll be able to eradicate ~~assholes~~ drivers who don't signal when they turn into another lane or as in last night's encounter, some [insert expletive referring to regressed imbecile] who dared (expletive) HONK at me when HE was (expletive) driving the wrong way on the wrong lane. I promptly ignored his numerous honks at which he decided to come over and rap at my window to ask me to move my car WITHOUT EVEN (swear x1000000) saying "Please." I automatically shouted an F-word after him. QKXxxxx, I have my eye on your sorry Waja arse. URGH!

Reformation from Within

2011-04-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

Dr Sim believes in reformation from within.

1) He doesn't know the meaning of the word "Reformation."
2) He doesn't know that you can't fill old wineskins with new wine.
3) He has been in Australia too long.
4) He is using his heart too much at the expense of his head.
5) He has not spoken to George Chan.
6) He is gullible enough to believe George Chan.
7) He thinks a BBQ can bring about reformation (from within mah).

This is said tongue-in-cheek. Unless he changes lanes without signalling.