Thursday, August 25, 2011

Embracing Larry (the cucumber ie vegetable)

If you want to continue eating meat do not look at the PETA website. But since I did, and opened Pandora's box, I've been considering if vegetarianism is something I can pursue. Do I think it is wrong to eat animals? No. Neither from an ethical nor from a religious (and definitely not cultural) point of view. I don't think it is wrong to enjoy a bacon butty or cured ham or turkey pie even if it is proven that my Dijon mustard hot dog has a higher Intellectual Quotient than my pet dog (which isn't be hard to believe). I don't think if it were a sin to kill animals, that God would've said to Noah or the Israelites for that matter, "You may eat... etc." I mean God said to burn the fatty parts of the animals as a burnt offering to Him and boy did He choose the best parts. The most fragrant. I mean really, only God can enjoy fat at every meal and not suffer from high cholesterol and gout.

So if eating meat nor acquiring it by killing the animal per se is not hampering my appetite, what is? My conscience is troubled at the way in which these animals, my food, is raised, is cared for, looked after and protected. I am concerned about their circumstance and welfare prior to becoming a lovely mess of goodness on my plate. Ironically (hypocritcally?) though, short of being skewered with roasted pumpkin and baby onions and chargrilled with butter and lemongrass.

I see pictures of hens in battery cages and see the effects of poultry being injected with hormone boosters to speed growth and production. I see fish squirming on top of each other in stagnant pools. I see the "hands" of crabs being tied and whilst still tied, plunged into boiling hot salted water just so that I can enjoy my butter-oat crab. Somehow, that image doesn't sit right with me. As much as the succulent juicy pieces of good-for-me protein lure with their scent and taste, there is a small part of me that wonders if the animal had been taken care of before it died.

At first I thought of joining the ethical omnivorism clan whereby I would only eat meat products that I knew came from reliable sources; whether wild, well-pastured or free range. Products of deep sea fishing, deer, pigeon, wild rabbits or boars would therefore not pose an issue. Nor would there be an issue (to me) if the birds were allowed to roam, roost naturally and dust bathe. To some vegans, this is hypocrisy as they feel the animal should not be harmed, at all, at any cost. So the fact that I'm saying it's ok to kill the animal is to them a travestry of 'ethics." Then again, ethics is subjective, so what is my ethical preference whilst not yours cannot be deemed wrong unless you have an objective plumbline by which to run it by. In addition, some vegetarians then revert to meat when they fall pregnant for example because they feel "it was right for my body at that point in time to eat meat." Surely that makes them equally hypocritical and more so, it highlights the fact that when push comes to shove, we will put ourselves first at any cost, at all cost.

I'm trying to imagine my life without hoisin duck and three-layered pork and fish and chips... butter prawn, deep fried salted egg squid... kolo mee... and boy, it's hard. Gut wrenchingly so. Literally. My hungry stomach is making noises. Just thinking about kampua mee and not enjoying ngo hiang or bak kut teh or kueh chap anymore is enough to send me into a sugar deprived spiral. Goodbye pepperoni...

But... you might say... if you're still willing to eat meat, it won't mean that you can't have any of this anymore right? That is right... but do you know any ethical farmers around who will kill their half-tonne cow to sell me a 200g slab?

I haven't quite decided to become vegetarian yet but over the years I have come to realize it doesn't mean eating rabbit food or just salad which I thought was what vegetarians lived on; different salads every day; Caesar, Waldorf, Greek. Instead of talking about beef wellington and plum sauce duck for example, I could start talking about stuffed pepper bells with cous cous, spinach and sun dried tomatoes. I could talk about leek and haloumi with brown rice. Or pitta bread stuffed with quorn, spice and greek yoghurt. I can still enjoy pesto. Instead of duck and cherry sausages or Cumberlands, I could have black bean sausages with mashed chick peas. I can still have terung Dayak and terung pipit and nasi kerabu (without the meat). I can still enjoy ulam, buttered sweetcorn and bamboo shoots. I can definitely still have waffles, tau sar pau and egg tarts. French beans or mallow with egg? No problem. I could go on about olive pate, cheese and onion quiche, ricotta pizzas and brocolli with cashew and I can still polish off a whole pack of garlic boursin with water crackers. I can still have french fries.

Life may not be so bad as a vegetarian...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Live and let be

If bad things hit you like a storm,
Just holler back; don't let it drag.

If people just do not play fair,
Just lift your head and say "Who cares?"

If heads all roll in sink and swim,
Put on a tank and dive right in.

If matters look as bleak as grey,
Just shrug cos it'll pass anyway.

If people just give you the creeps,
Hesitate not; press auto-delete.

If life is sour and above you tower,
Just let it blast and raise that finger.

If life is great then do not gloat,
Next round you'll be in the moat.

If you think I am dissing you
You may be right and "Fuck you too."

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Cave exploration

Caved in and got a Fujitsu laptop. Goodbye Acer. Didn't even name it and getting emotional. Have never been an Apple person and not gonna start now even if they have this to-die-for Bookbook case. But practicality trumps fashion although Louboutin will disagree and I think Apple has too many software applications which aren't available/ compatible and techno and time aren't exactly my best friends.

Caved in and bought a dress at Hills. I keep saying I won't go shopping. I might as well say I'll stop breathing. Mum bought some nice grey-blue patterned cloth and asked if I wanted to make a dress out of it. Already I mentally match a not-even-there-yet-dress with light blue Heatwave wedges. Which means I need a spangly silver cardy to match. Bad.

Caved in and got a Twiiter account. See previous post.

Caved in and spent 15 bucks trying to win a 2-inch wide angry bird worth a dollar fifty. So says Lid. It's now hanging on my rearview mirror. For someone who doesn't care for birds, am getting quite attached to it.

Caved in on Weds night and had pizza.........................

Damn you self-control! The plight of those inflicted with Dionysian madness.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I am a twit :(

Dictionary: Idiot; mentally deficient or self-defeating person

@abalonedeb says: That's not a very nice thing to say.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Seeing in part

Reading upside down on bed one night, my attention was somehow directed to a "blotch" somwhere above the cabinet on my apple green bedroom wall. Curiously, I stared at the blotch which looked more and more to me like a woman's face (not kidding!). I even viewed it from different angles and from different distances thinking there was no way this face had suddenly appeared without me realizing it. While Logic was trying to keep a grip, Imagination was running through my mind namely:-

1) Was it a ghost in the wall?
2) Was it a reflection of a ghost in the wall?
3) Did someone die on that plot of land we built our house on?
4) Was someone buried in the ground directly under my bed (I sleep on the ground floor)?
5) Was it a sign?
6) Did the ghost want me to find her?
7) This is like something out of BONES...
8) Where is Seeley Booth when you need him?

I even started taking pictures of the blotch and through the camera lens, it still looked like a woman's face, complete with the shadow that falls across one's cheek when you have a particularly nice nose. Considering that the wall was immediately before my bed, I did not like the feeling of someone watching me as I slept which led me to other mad ideas:-

1) Was the ghost angry at me?
2) Did I do something wrong?
3) Was it really a water ghost I heard the other night?
4) Is there something under my bed?

By then I had whether rightly or wrongly, persuaded myself that there was something definitely fishy about this blotch in my wall. This strange woman's face must tell a story of some sort. Maybe she was a resident ghost and pointed to a brutal murder of some kind (overload of Midsummer Murders). In half panic, half excitement, I reached for my glasses and....

Where was she?

As if by magic, the blotch on the wall disappeared (or appeared) into what it really was: a blotch on the wall.

I was comforted somewhat and not simply by the fact that I no longer housed a resident ghost. In the greater picture of angels and demons, especially given that this month belongs to Hungry Ghost in the Lunar Calender where traditional Chinese and Buddhists venerate the dead to protect themselves from harm, I am reminded that the lifeline thrown by frantic offerings, chants, charms and stricken appeasements is all but an illusion, a blotch, the importance of which will fade away as smoke from joss sticks once the glasses are put on and focus redirected.

Friday, August 05, 2011

Harap maklum

Menemui sahabatku sekalian yang memahami teks ini yang tidak jauh dari peringatan,

Mengikuti pengumuman JAKIM bahawa mentega Golden Churn telahpun diharamkan antara saudara-saudari muslimin-muslimat kerana dikatakan mengandungi DNA babi, dengan hati yang berat sekali, terpaksalah juga aku mendedahkan bahawa pada malam ini, hasil akibat menikmati sepinggan kueh chap yang enak sekali, DNA babi semestinya telah menular rangkai tubuh ini dan oleh itu, mungkin tidak baiklah, jika kalian menyentuh, bersalam atau memeluk diriku ini. Biarlah tubuhni luput dari perhubungan dan pupus dari peringatan!

(Maaf jika terlalu dramatis; memang susah untuk aku mengerti apalagi menerima bahawa Zaman Keemasan kek lapis Sarawak mungkin telahpun lalu dengan kemangkatan Golden Churn di kalangan rakyat Melayu. Walau bagaimanapun, aku dengan sesungguhnya percaya bahawa kemahiran menghasilkan kek lapis akan terus melangkah depan, samada Golden Churn ada ataupun tidak.)

Semoga Tuhan memberkati kita semua.

Sekian dimaklumkan.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Full service

Right now I'm thinking of:-

Cheese platter
Doesn't matter what cheese as long as there's boursin and stilton. Serve with water biscuits.

Warm creamy pumpkin-parsley soup with toasted mushroom-garlic bread.

White tuna lightly pan fried with new potatoes tossed in chunky black pepper and cracked sea salt. Serve with a salad of asparagus, rocket and semi-ripe papaya and drizzled with balsamic


A mixture of firm scallops, crabmeat and large, juicy shelled tiger prawns cooked into a chunky seafood sauce. Serve in a puff pastry basket with spinach and guava .

Wagyu steak minimally drizzled in red wine sauce. Serve with cherry tomatoes and mashed sweet potato and parsnip.

Chocolate raspberry torte


Praline ice cream in chocolate trellis

With amaretto


Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Piping a tune

The Pied Piper of Hamelin we all know full well
The yellow gold and crimson tail
The merry tune he calls out sweet
Makes feet-a-dancing to the beat.

Drowning the rodents that fed on the brie,
The townsfolk turned rotten and kept the money,
Very angry did the Pied Piper get
When they drumed him out of town, he turned round and said,

"Though the piper may pipe any tune that he may,
what worth will it have, if no one will pay?
Though the pipe may sing from dawn til dusk,
only a coin in the hat will prove the fuss.
Indeed, he who pays the piper may call out any tune
And the piper will oblige in a twinkle, none too soon."

The people refused, they did not hear
They did not care and they did not fear
They drank and were carefree, until came a time
When music was heard and then something absurd.

History is farce when it calls again
But now it was tragedy though they stop it in vain
The apples of eyes and pleasures of heart
All took off like mice, some singing, some run,
All under disguise, all blinded by one
Who stood at the helm
Decked in blood and the sun.

Monday, August 01, 2011

A day off work

Heard this on the radio a couple of weeks ago and recently found it online at AhaJokes. Makes one wonder why more people are not skipping to work.

"So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!"

Not such an emo day

It sits and eats a crumb in hand,
In hand, in paw a morsel to gnaw,
To gnaw, to chew, the raspberry hue,
The colour red popping as all jam tarts do. *Licks lips*

It sits and grins a smile like Cheddar,
Cheddar, or better! Pudding bread and butter,
Oh butter! Oh dream! Oh sink in sweet cream,
How ever could dairy be evil or mean? *Grin*

It sits and twitches, its whiskers unfurled,
Unfurled, unwound, release most profound,
Profound, and wondrous, until so immersed;
The taste of Cadbury; it can't be a curse!! *Dibbledy-dribbledy*

It sits and stares, with wild eye despair,
Despair, and crazed, a wantonnish haze,
Haze and slur, the food starts to blur,
Involuntary ripples runs right through its fur. Brrrr....

Oh food, oh man, oh one of the same,
The same they are, delightful by far,
So far, so near, so timeless, so dear,
That one may relish while the other may fear. Yum yum.