Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Road rage; kiss ass

I have no excuse and offer no apologies for my road rage. Most of the time I am grateful I do not own a hummer, crane or tractor and do not have diplomatic immunity or else many 4-wheeled creatures large and small alike (for I do not discriminate) will find themselves carved with talons of an enraged Velociraptor. Everyday, one of these idiots manage to annoy me to the point where I will readily sacrifice my car into oncoming traffic for the better good. I am talking about cars that keep going when the light has turned red. I have a good mind to accelerate as soon as my way turns green regardless of whether the incompetent driver from the other direction is speeding across the tarmac. From a hopelessly and idealistically romantic and machochistic point of view, I see myself gloating at the would be killer in Court, even as I sustain broken legs and lose more teeth. Argh!

Besides cars that run the red light, cars that refuse to signal appropriately, drive me up the wall. I met with an audacious piece of such trash yesterevening. Not only did this lunatic refuse to signal when cutting lanes, she had a sign in the rear window sporting a cartoon caricature which resembled her ugly mug, pointing to its ass and smirking "Kiss this; pay me."

Let me tell you, payment at that point was the least of my concerns. I was SORELY tempted to not just kiss that car's frickin ass but to drive over it with a steamroller and reverse. Will thereafter have pleaded insanity, intoxication by rage and intense provocation.

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