Monday, August 30, 2010

Best of both worlds

An Independent Malaysia?

Disclaimers:
1) Please practise and understand the art of sarcasm before reading any further. The author will not be held responsible for any heart attacks and/or partial and/or full strokes and/or increase in blood pressure to an unhealthy level due to reader being either overweight or possessing clogged arteries or both, as it is. The definition of "unhealthy level" is not subject to personal opinion and/or interpretation but shall follow the guidelines of the WHO which for your information, does not refer to the rock band.

2) Namecalling which includes but is not limited to monkey, dog or pig: When such namecalling is practised, the author is not doubting recipients' genetic foundations, neither is the author saying that recipients of such namecalling eat the aforesaid, think like one or are in any way biologically related to and/or resemble the same. The word 'poodle' in the blog title does not refer to fluffy haired ministers or idiots. Do not insult poodles; they are extremely intelligent. As are pigs.

3) The author believes that tolerance is a 2-way street without which, oppression would be a more suitable replacement. The number and or word two(2) is not subject to reintepretation and has linguistic and/or numerical immunity from the Sedition Act.

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In the papers yesterday I read that the "Religious Police" were cracking down on Muslims who failed to adhere to the fasting month. The article quoted that Kuching was the worst culprit, hosting the highest number of people who failed to live up to the expectations of the Religious Police chose to eat which will no doubt be some fanatic's minister's excuse to flood Kuching with Islamic religious authorities and erect a giant green arrow in the sky pointing towards the alleged holy land. As expected, the said fa... minister will vehemently and strenuously propagate this idealism in the name of stupidity tolerance BEFORE the truth of the article is verified and by then it would be too late. Our only reminder of the RM1 billion spent, which could have otherwise been used in social welfare or in combatting crime, would be a giant neon edifice in the sky, which as most Malaysian products go, will probably disintegrate in the first rainstorm, not because Malaysian products are of low quality, but because incompetent fools relatives obviously deserve the tender for the project more than penumpang strangers with international recognition.

I believe that a Muslim's decision to fast is a decision made between the person and God and that that relationship should be honoured. The last time I checked, a threesome isn't permitted.

Brace yourself people, elections are coming soon. The side of the roads have been painted and bonuses paid out.

Sometimes I wonder if colonialism left too soon.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Animal Pranks on the Ark
















Transcript in case the words are blur:-

Lion: Here he comes. Give me half a dozen.
*Bird plucking feathers*
Noah: NOOOOO

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Complementary Compliments

You are...

The light to my house;
The bow to my tie;
The sea to my foam;
The brain in my storm.

The stitch to my cross;
The purr in my fume;
The see to my saw;
The hee to my haw.

The cup for my cake;
The corn for my cob;
The spik to my span;
My gingerbread man.

Yum, yum...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Life steps

  • Apprentice - learning from the Master
  • Bewildered - is a good place to start
  • Childlike - yes, and childish too (deal with it!)
  • Dream - it all becomes clearer
  • Explore - the world is an oyster
  • Fall - the only way to get up again
  • Green - the colour of the living (even when you're feeling it)
  • Hiccups - will always happen unexpectedly
  • Imagine - John Lenon wasn't very
  • Justify - stop that; just go for it
  • Kellogs - eat right
  • Love - there's never enough
  • Mirror - start there and work outwards
  • Novelty - makes things exciting
  • Ovid - a good book is necessary
  • Penguin - black and white isn't always boring
  • Quantico - travel off road
  • Rubbish - the way you feel when you're reconfigurating
  • Shine - accept that the brightest stars will soon fade so shine!
  • Truth - will only set you free
  • Unwind - even God rested
  • Vanity - will only get you so far
  • Warfare - is for the meek
  • Xanadu - we all need a bit of crazy
  • Yes - honour it
  • Zion - it's either Terminator or Salvation

Friday, August 20, 2010

Life in Motion

I realise that most of my recent posts have been visual rather than verbous. The verbal draught may come to an end soon or it may not; when one is confused with information overload and possible secrets that one would rather not know, it is always best not to say anything.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Whinger

Make way for The Whinger!
My goodness what aplomb
The spectacle that follows
Measure lines along a plumb.

Make way for The Whinger!
Did you not know?
My goodness, how could you not?
Since she sure did tell to all!!

Make way for The Whinger!
News travels far and wide,
Until it reaches the ears of one,
Who gleefully decides.

Make way for The Whinger!
You think your mind a jewel,
I tell you it is less
Than swine cast before pearl.

Make way for The Whinger!
Since everyone has claim,
The better the story, the juicier the plot,
The mind cannot contain!

Make way for The Whinger!
Laugh at such a farce!
The Whinger pauses
The Whinger says,
"At least I have no poker up my arse."

Monday, August 09, 2010

Cross roads


And people wonder why I'm confused.

Archives

Funny glimpses of the things we went through.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Caption?

In keeping with a week of  "Transformers" and "Moses" jokes, my addled mind created this.
Feel free to caption the above. 

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Smells that make for a good night's sleep

Smell is an extremely powerful memory trigger. The smell of "oyster-pork-salted egg congee/porridge" for example, is a soothing olfactory lullaby of childhood times, Dettol reminds me of my accident and fried chicken smells of fun and excitement ahead. Incidentally, the smell of chlorine can get me fired up too. Chocolate coated coffee beans remind me of my penultimate year exams and passionfruit juice remind me of the days Victoria and I frequented Cubana in Waterloo. Once, in Japan, my subconscious was so bombarded with foreign culture that I insisted to Louise that someone in Japan was cooking my mum's soy sauce ginger chicken.

Scent is also a people identifier. There are some perfumes I can associate with only one person. Jlo Glo = Tara; Hugo Boss (dark blue) = Holty; Bold washing powder = Daniel :) There was one time in college when my coursemate Maria was walking about 50 metres ahead across the courtyard. Although my vision was terrible, like a hound, I picked up her scent of Flower by Kenzo in the wind.

 The following are some of my favourite smells.

LAVENDER

CHERRY BLOSSOM
Source: http://guardian.co.uk Photograph Andy Rain/EPA

ROYAL JELLY

JASMINE

Lily of the Valley
Source: http://landscape-photo.net Photograph Bruno Monginoux

I really enjoy savouring the world through smell. I could "go crazy" for all the scents and smells on offer that overpower my senses and make life interesting and full of anticipation. Yet, when I have quietened down and am ready to unwind, all I really need is this
-:go figure which one (really??):-

Sunday, August 01, 2010

On Zoloft

My new puppy may not have all the properties of his namesake.

Brownie, is also, not a happy doggy :(

It feels like having a newborn baby that wants to be carried all the time and a jealous toddler that wants attention. I feel like an unfit parent.

Any moment of quiet is just a silent build up to another chorus of mayhem.