Monday, May 24, 2010

Homecoming

Where is home;
I do not know
Where my heart calls;
I cannot go
Where joy is laid bare,
Bitterness shares
Contentment accepts;
Adventure rejects.

When minds decide;
When plans are made;
When routes stand out
Demarked in red;
When shadows tall
And raindrops fall;
The roads ahead
Seem dry and dead.

First steps are done;
Next step to come
When all is dust;
And faded rust
Be far or near,
You and me, here.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Endlessly Incorrigible

I have the unique ability to hate dislike a person intensely without even speaking to them him/her. 

Is not "I don't like your face" a valid reason?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Nearly home

On Tuesday week I will be going home. Still not sure what I think about it and I would rather keep my head down and a lid on things as I conserve much emotional energy needed towards momentum and force to carve paths later. There are many things I don't want to explain; the most important things to me cannot be explained. Don't push it. For now, it's all about transporting accumulated possessions home.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I've got your number

Here's a shout out to the owner of WTE****.

I don't care if you're some Tan Sri's golden grandchild or that you own two-thirds of KL. The next time I see your snotty girlfriend throw rubbish out of the window, I'll chase your car for as far as my left-over petrol will take me, announcing it on a megaphone.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Tension

Don't ask me to be what I am not.

If you ask, I might give it a shot even though it is not in my nature to do so.

So while you look on, proud that I have 'changed,' in reality, I am eating myself inside.

The more you ask me to be what I am not, the more I try to go against the grain of my own expectations.

One day you may look at me and see everything you had wished me to be.

I look at me and fail to see the point of living as someone else but me.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Realistic Perfection

You can sweat blood for a future you envision only for it to be disregarded as outdated by the next generation.

You can train your body to Olympic fitness only to lose a leg by someone irresponsible.

You can hold on to your principles and be labelled a fool for being idealistic.

You can set out to do everything that you planned to do but you are only man and though you may hope for your number to show, nothing in this world will thwart what God already knows.

For me, this means putting fear aside as I prepare to canter since my accident last year.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Mouldy Crab or Crabby Mould

The problem with workaholics is that they don't know how to stay nice and quiet, enjoying a day at home unless they're more ill than obssessed.

Work officially ended on Friday. Saturday and Sunday whizzed by as usual but on Monday something strange happened. I couldn't stop thinking about work. By all standards, my day should have been rated top-notch; I hung out with Auds, did the "I'm-so-free-that-I-can-brunch-at-Solaris" thing, enslaved myself to a chocolate lunch, indulged in impulse shopping (and wore my purchase out of the shop), made my way to see Tyng & Tyng on the other side of town for dinner and ended the night with Iron Man 2. Why then, did I find myself reciting file numbers and itching to get my into my office chair to send off emails only I could send? Did not my clients miss me? OCD to the max, that's what it is.

Because lunch was cancelled. I slept the whole of Tuesday, waking up momentarily to whine that I had nothing to do. The second I decided to make an impromptu but much needed trip to the post office, it started to rain, thunder and spit fire from Heaven. Ho-kay... clearly, clearly God wanted me to sucumb (being out of the working world for the whole of 48 hours and counting, I have forgotten whether sucumb has one 'c' or two) to cabin fever to make me realize what a good thing I was throwing away at work and how selfish I was not helping my clients 24/7 now that they needed me. Since when, did Clingzilla enter the picture? I forgot to mention that I single-handedly wiped out an entire packet of Famous Amos. The number of things that now elude me is appalling to say the least.

The only good thing that happened today after both my lunch and dinner dates stood me up is that I got tattooed. Yes, nothing quite like a permanent fixture to remind you why everything sucks. Even that was upsetting. The lady kept saying it would look like a sunflower. It looks like a sunflower alright. One that got sat on and squashed by a donkey's fat ass. It's a henna tattoo by the way. Which means it comes off after 2 weeks. Don't worry Pa.

As you can see, I am in a most amiable mood today. Feel free to call on me. The shrew hasn't seen anything yet.