Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Middle Puddle

What happens when something that cannot be stopped collides with something that cannot be moved?

Sometimes even the best friendships give way.

Monday, April 26, 2010

When you're hungry

X: Yeah, he used to work in Torque.
Y: Pork? He worked with pork?

X: Sorry for the mistake.
Y: Steak? Where?

X: I was so mad I screamed at her.
Y: You threw an ice scream?

X: The turnover wasn't very good this year.
Y: Was it apple?

X: Palifico!
Y: Profiterole :)

X: So next week at Bible study...
Y: Who's having bacon butty?

X: Jesus died and rose...
Y: Jesus had roast? I thought he had fish. Was the fish roasted?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

As much the "how" as it is the "what"

I bought my DKNY perfume today :) I had wanted to buy it for the longest time so I decided that today was going to be the day. The would-be happy shopping experience was marred by the most lousy customer service salesperson in Metrojaya Midvalley who, not only ignored my wheedling for freebies but also more or less picked up the wares he/she/transgender/it/zhe had decided I would buy and marched off to the counter for me to pay (URGH!!). Metrojaya would probably give the said lousy service operator the *Glamoursales Award" of the year if they even bother to observe their CCTV footage.

If I had not been so set on buying DKNY today, I would have blacklisted the whole product range AND Metrojaya to boot.

It did however, get me thinking about other things in life. Especially that the 'what' we do although important, should not sideline the 'how' we do the 'what' we have decided to do. Attitude matters. It really is the thought that counts.

In work, it is not the "telling-off" of your secretary that is wrong - most of us do it and those of us who do not probably don't care about the quality of work as much - rather, it is how you tell her she is wrong. Do you yell racial abuses or make snide comments to put her down? Do you highlight her inadequacies in a fit of spite and malice? Is it so hard to be firm but considerate, insisting but polite? The product you project is the brand you make for yourself.

Are your relationships selfish and demeaning? Do they seek to hurt rather than edify? Do you see cracks over character? Are you gracious or a grumbler? Do you chide without comprehending? Do you patronize without protecting? Are you in love with your relationship and not the person? Are you in love with the idea that you are in a relationship rather than nurturing and strengthening the bonds of two complex human beings? The worth and value you put in your friends is reflected in how you treat them and if you don't treat them very well, it's nobody's guess and everyone's game that you're not exactly good company to keep.

In many ways, the 'what' is determined by circumstance. The 'how' takes a good look at your mugshot. I look at mine everyday. Some things are hard to change. It doesn't mean I don't try. It doesn't mean that I want to try. But I try because it's how I want to live.

You only have one life. How are you going to live it? Here's one way.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Happy vs. Grumpy

I wonder if the 2 dwarves (as mentioned above) ever got to each others throats. Wonder what happened before mild mannered(??) Snow White with her apple-pie (using equipment which will no doubt FAIL health & safety regulations - so do NOT think that she is the epitome of housekeeping and culinary skill!) came along.

Forget dual personalities, we have 7 dwarves in each of of us to varying degrees and this is how I propose dealing with each dwarf symptom in each of us.

Pedantic smart-*insert anatomical part here* Doc needs to have the poker removed from his *insert anatomical part here.* Grumpy needs a kiss from a barmaid. Sleepy needs exercise and he'll have more friends if he got rid of his stinky pillow and stopped drooling on his beard. Sneezy needs to stop living in denial and get a hayfever jab rather than complaining of the man flu thinking it's cute to do so. Bashful needs to stop being so bloody paranoid, worrying that everyone's talking about him all the time. Dopey needs to stop pretending that he's 3 with diapers and get a proper 9-5 job with deadlines. Happy is probably depressed.

Try guess which dwarf in me in writing this.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Curl up and...

Carrying on from my miserable rant below, I am now having chronic gastric to boot. Have been puking since I woke up but no particles of raw mackeral have appeared. Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga :(

Maybe taking all that Vit C wasn't a good idea? Having third and fourth thoughts about accepting the doc's offer for an intra-scopic test. A perpetual sulk is now carved on my face.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sad face

I've been wanting to blog about my favourite subject for a long time. Wanted to blog about how Zeus is such a poor comparison to my favourite subject and how He (my  favourite subject; not Zeus) is so awesome. But I have the flu and can't make smart comments to do Him justice except to stare heavenwards, giving Him puppy eyes, beseeching Him to create a more potent Vicks nasal spray. So, how did I catch the flu THIS time?

The deadly handshake
I had been careful, administering recklessly large doses of Vitamin C to protect my poor immune system from the bad flu virus that lives, multiplies and mutates in the air-conditioning vents in my office (I swear it never really leaves; it just makes other people sick in turn). I have been hit 3 times already this year so when I felt the sniffles I downed Vit C pastilles, lozenges, chewables and effervescents; anything I could persuade the doctor to give me without making me a suspect of frenzied self-medication.

I kept the blasted fly at bay for 6 days. I have a sneaky feeling that when the doc gave me that prolonged dose of super antibiotics, it wiped out my teeny soldiers into oblivion, leaving the gate wide open for the Trojan Horse to amble through. *Sob*

But how did the Trojan Horse find its way to the pearly gates when my White Warriors were on vacation?

My secretary..... *cry* shook my hand *CRY* on my BIRTHDAY!!!!! *achoo!!*

Saturday, April 10, 2010

R is for...

Having to explain the resurrection to 9-year olds, it being hard to spell is the least of my worries. Having to package this hugely inconceivable reality for little people, even harder, the only advantage being that little people have a wider and more spirited imagination than adults.

Thursday, April 08, 2010


Most of the time I'm more healthy than Bunyan's Babe the Blue Ox (no, not that Bunyan, the other one). Even when I'm sick I have an annoyingly glowing complexion that betrays an otherwise frail disposition by screaming, "Healthy!" It is only when the doc sticks a lightbulb into my mouth do I get told that I am sicker than even I gave myself credit for and am given my third course of antibiotics this year, doubled and apparently stronger than the previous two I took. Also contains some ingredient that Wolverine is made out of. Maybe after this I'll be able to sprout steely blades from my knuckles.