Sunday, March 07, 2010

Paranoid Hyperchondriac

Had a coughing fit last night which left me wheezy, smelling of Vapour rub and retching. To add to it, my 7.5m long intestine kept making unwanted noises, giving me second thoughts about accepting the Doc's advice to agree to having a tube up one end to check my rear and a tube down the other end to dispell suspicions of stomach ulcers. I wanted to tell her that if I ever got hit by an oncoming bus, she was free to do her recommened checks whilst knitting my shattered ribs together.

Before Christmas, I was coughing so badly that the Doc recommended an X-ray be done. Instead of pneumonia or other pulmonaric infections, I was given the all clear to fly home.

Around April when I had my accident, 2 CAT scans revealed..... nothing, except my beating, alive, functioning brain. So all my friends' fears of me having a lasting tumour in my brain were unfounded. My migraines still happen and I'm trying to correct my blurry vision with new spectacles.

When I first read about Meningitis as a child, I repeatedly rolled a glass over my arms and legs to check for tell-tale spots.

I still remember the time I thought I was diabetic and would keep checking the toilet bowl for ants. When a really heavy bottle fell on my toe and it turned colour the next day I didn't think, "Oh, it's bruised because a heavy object fell on it." I immediately thought, "Gangrene!!!"

Another time I thought I had a benign growth in my head because I felt a protrusion. I still think it's benign growth, maybe of bone mass, who knows?

It may seem like all my symptoms are just in my head after all.

No comments: