Monday, January 04, 2010

First of the New

I enter the New Year as I had last left the one past and am starting to understand that there is no real 'starting afresh' just because the numbers on the calender have changed. Yes, I can choose to use each beginning of each year to commence something new and exciting and life-changing but that leaves me with several problematic possibilities. 

If starting afresh became the ultimate for each year, the emotional and psychological lows if I fail to meet the next 'new high' could potentially convince me that the year will be rubbish throughout (if I can't even start it well, how do I finish well?). Besides that, if I only used the New Year as a point of reference before changing an inherently wrong way of thinking or motive, surely my progress will be dampened and the reason of New Year used as an excuse to harden my heart against changing. Also, before action, decisions need to be made, plans thought out and options weighed. If I depended on the New Year as the timeline for deciding that next move, I will probably never do what I've set out to in the first place. Some things need to let simmer and mature. Some things you really need to force through.

I do not think time should be taken as a constraint against change. Change happens with time but who is to say change will not happen even if time were void? There have been plans made for the New Year, not simply because it is the 'new' year but because, as a natural progression from previous years (and for some plans, a result of many years past), it seems well and befitting that they happen this year.

I cannot tell what will happen this year. I cannot tell the things lined up in the coming months or even days. Yesterday I was reminded that I still have to work on controlling my temper. Today I may be pensive and tomorrow I might be overwhelmed. There have been personal goals set for this year which I hope to see to fruition. Goals which keep my eyes focused and my heart hopeful despite my soul being tired and my spirit waned for having to create and recreate for myself each time a reason to be joyful in circumstances I would rather not be in.

Jesus is King but whether or not I get knocked down by a car, He is still King.
Jesus is LORD but it doesn't mean I won't get pushed over today.
Jesus is coming again but work requests still need to be responded to.

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