Wednesday, December 29, 2010

G. Reem.

Daemon raised the polka pace.

Old man Earl quivered involuntarily, fighting hard against the last stronghold in his life-long, ingrained consciousness of lofty pretence. The spasm lasted but a moment. Letting the floodgates surge, a diluted pupil pressed wildly through the steamed monocle, straining to catch the sprite in action.

"If you look very closely," the daemon whispered into the paralysing soundlessness that follows the premature termination of drawn breath, "you'll see that it hits the spot."

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Gage or Gauge?

In reality both words are the same and if you like shortcuts you might prefer the former. However, if you're in the habit of making life more convulated than a "She-sells-sea-shells" tongue twister with a lisp thrown in, then you might, like me, lean to the latter. Either way, it's good to know that there are two ways to look at any one yardstick and that success need not be measured in light of terms others might choose to use.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Building dreams

The difference between day dreaming and dare dreaming is whilst one lives and stays in dreamy mist, only to wander into reality by accident, the other is focused in action, and though serendipity may find its way, the dream that never was may never have been if the dreamer had not dared to venture in the first place.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Sweet slumber

Finally the weekend is here and I can try scrape together more than 6 hours in one "sleeping." Then again, between carols, jazz bars, french dining, projects and homework, I wonder if 48 hours will be enough. The workaholic couldn't be more estatic but he's also having the fight the sleepaholic within.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Workaholic is tres happy.
Chocoholic is saturated (possible?)
Shopaholic is annoyed at having missed out on Tresor's promotion (only 6 boxes per counter apparently).
Partyholic is eyeing a pair of gold heels.
Writerholic is satisfied.
Teaholic is waiting for Mabel to call.....

Friday, December 10, 2010

Same difference?

You betcha I'm different. Although to me it's the same. But that's because I actually live with myself. You don't have to. Or chose not to. Whatever.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Charge ahead!

I was in a feeding frenzy at the Popular Bookstore 10%-70% sale which you will be able to find on the 5th floor of Topspot until 9pm 12 December 2010. Unfortunately, being the responsible dog owner that I am, I couldn't spend my sweet time browsing whilst my dogs went hungry at home so I did a mad dash-grab-and-go and managed to pick up 6 books - the star buy of the night being Gregory Maguire's "Mirror Mirror" and the most indulgent being a coffee table book on haute couture shoes - after rejecting one on liposuction, another on recipes for vegetable side dishes and a Jeffery Archer novel (considering this was a grab-and-go, I commend myself highly for the restaint practised at having picked up only 6 books).

Approaching the cashier and feeling all too aware of my shallow pockets, I felt it was necessary to use those 3 precious words, "You take card?" Thankfully, being at a book sale, by all definitions of the word, meant that my card could sleep snugly whilst my wallet footed the bill.

The drive home was slowed down by rain and the peak hour traffic which meant I could, though not recommended, drive and read at the same time. Indeed, I had hungrily torn into the wrapping before my engine cylinders had completed their first round. Books are meant to be devoured and savoured.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

The great divide

The Chinese do not have it all.
The Natives do not have it all.
The Malays do not have it all.
Who has it all?

A really good and objective view on how we possibly view each other without saying it here.

Thursday, December 02, 2010


Sometimes, when everything ceases to make sense, what one really needs is a deep bed, plush pillows, scented sheets and posh loo roll. It will be a good day when Andrex comes to Malaysia.

Only the godless need not rest.

December, December

This time last year I was beyond the moon when Chief gave me a day off work because I was going-to-collapse-soon ill. You can revisit my delayed death wish here. The day off work was however, replaced with a day in work the following Saturday. I am one of those unfortunate gluttons for self-punishment.

Is anything different this year round? New job, new town, new Chief. I guess not much changes when one is still, at heart, a perpetual glutton for punishment.

Having said all that, the result of dragging my beat-up body to work a year ago is that I now have precious and tangible proof in print on olive green paper to which I can point and proudly say, "I did that!" whilst floating on endorphins as I forget the agony of "childbirth."

Bring on December.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dark mood of the White Paper

West Malaysia may have put Malaysia on the political map but many in Sarawak believe that the greed of West Malaysia may very well be the one to wipe Sarawak off the map if their actions against Sarawak are not curtailed, sanctioned and controlled. Whilst the recently proposed White Paper offers to curtail unwanted activity from the Peninsular, unfortunately it says nothing about the inherent greed in our own Sarawakian leaders, whose cronies and contacts are from the Peninsular.

I initially applauded the motion for this White Paper passed by a BN backbencher, thinking that finally, someone in BN was travelling in the right direction. The motion reads as follows:-

…unhealthy and divisive activities and actions with the tendency calculated to disrupt, undermine and destroy the peace, unity and harmony of or multi-racial or respect and tolerance of religious beliefs and practices and the economic interests and progress of the State of Sarawak, have been carried out by persons and or organizations from outside the state

… unless steps are taken immediately to prevent the escalation of such activities and actions, the peace, harmony, stability and economic interests of the state will be undermined and severely jeopardized

…I hereby move that this Dewan (House) resolves that the State Government shall prepare and publish a White Paper on all such activities and actions undertaken recently by various peoples. Organizations and media from outside the state and measures that the Government shall take to prevent the escalation of such activities and to pre-empt the deterioration of the peace, harmony and unity between our multi-racial communities, the security of the state and its economic interests and progress.

Sounds great doesn't it? Sounds like legislated protection for Sarawak against grubby fingers that want a dip in the rainforest pie. I am not against this White Paper but I call for (not that my voice or vote matters does it?) a closer look at the words underlined above and ask that the following be taken into account:-

1) Clarity
The words of the Paper must be clear and not worded in such a way that the intention can be interpreted anyhow to the advantage of those who seek to abuse its loopholes. This is a big problem and an issue because if this Paper becomes Law, the wording should be clear so that judges will have to interpret the Act according to the obvious meaning of the Act and not interpret it in a way suitable to obtain a holiday in Switzerland. The Opposition should serve as Shadow Cabinet on this. Anything less will be a farce, a mockery and an insult.

2) Intention
Is the intention to keep West Malaysian influence out completely or to keep political influence from West Malaysia out? Is this only about politics or does this cover education as well? Will this Act be used a situation where a West Malaysian Principal in Sarawak refuses to let a Chinese student bring pork to school or will the Government then say that it does not apply because the said West Malaysian resides in Sarawak? Will the number 13 (we are the 13th state in case you didn’t know) on our IC be a lucky number for Sarawakians in keeping evil out or will those from within the 13th State devour their own who will then be unable to garner help from outsiders as this will be prevented by the White Paper?

Is the Law supposed to protect Sarawakians or Sarawak? Who then will protect West Malaysians who have lived in Sarawak for many, many years and have made their lives and homes in Sarawak? Will they be protected under this legislation if anything untoward happens against them in the name of defending Sarawak?

3) Government Measures
What does BN mean by "steps taken immediately"? Does this mean being thrown into jail without trial? A compound fine? A warning? Who will be in charge of enforcing these steps? How will we know that these steps taken are fair? In the United States, people previously held without conviction in Guantanamo Bay have been released because it was recognized that holding people against their will for no valid reason except the often flimsy and overused excuse of “national security” was wrong and an offence against human rights. Is Sarawak to have her own Guantanamo Bay?

And what of the suggestion of "pre-emptive measures"? That sounds a lot like another Legislation we all know too well; the Internal Security Act (ISA). We all know what we think of the ISA and we know we do not like it. Mind you, this is not because the ISA is not good law but that its implementation and enforcement is done in a reactionary way to either get attention or scare people from doing things which the Government may not readily accept. It goes without saying that the justice under ISA is subject to higher powers. Is Sarawak to have her own ISA? Before we know it, George Orwell's 1984 and Animal Farm may become reality for us.

A stinkbomb of a threat from the Deputy Chief Minister has not gone unnoticed either, “We shall stay united and will not allow anyone from outside the state to bully us… UMNO promises not to come into Sarawak as long as we are a stable and strong BN party.”

The irony about his threat is that UMNO wouldn't be seen as a threat if it didn't make the outlandish claims it did. Even if UMNO came into Sarawak, it will never change the Constitution. UMNO and the Deputy should go and read the Constitution of Malaysia.

If we use our imagination a bit and pretend for a while that the White Paper is now Law, will the leaders who strangle our children with quotas and suffocate our businesses with terms and conditions, will they be subject to this Law? After all the very first paragraph of the motion reads “actions with the tendency… to disrupt, undermine and destroy… the economic interests and progress of the State of Sarawak." Surely putting quotas and providing us with only 5% profit of our own produce falls under this category. And what of repossessing lands without compensation? What about failure to perform certain inherent job functions which results in poor infrastructure or letting criminals get away with daylight robbery?

AND what of the Deputy Chief Minister's threat above? That certainly falls under an action (speaking) with a tendency (nothing in the motion about intention remember?!) to disrupt peace and harmony. So what measures will the State take against him if this White Paper were law right here, right now?

The points raised in the White Paper is truly a fantastic idea and assuming the Chairman Backbencher who proposed it is not in cahoots with certain cronies, he certainly has my vote. However, the number of perched elephants in the room of DUN, purposely overlooked, is ridiculous to say the least and it shows the inability of certain quarters to look beyond their privileged piggy bank.

The benefits of the White Paper will depends on who it is really written for; whether it is really for the people or as another political blockade to prevent progress coming to Sarawak. The journey of the White Paper to Law will be long. During that time, perhaps we will be able to identify who the real ‘outsiders’ are.

If you would like to know more, Hornbill Unleashed has this to say about the White Paper.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

KLuising in KL

Flight out of here tomorrow. A journey of a thousand steps begin with one. I think I'm at number three hundred and sixty nine.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

French Affair

Dare I take off on a 12-hour journey for a weekend rendezvous in Paris?

For Pierre Herme and Laduree, a thousand times yes.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Read this

>>> Here <<<

Taib's Nation

In relation to the recent White Paper motion initiated by a BN candidate and passed by the State Legislature to establish guidelines to be adhered to by political "outsiders" especially those from Peninsular, our honourable Chief Minister made the following statement, "This is our nation, this is our Sarawak."

I should be jumping with joy that finally BN was trying and a leader was stepping up to the plate, no matter how corrupt he is (allegedly) and telling West Malaysia that they can't have their way every way, any way, all the time. But wait... this is Taib we're talking about. That he would choose such apt words sends a bolt of fear straight down my spine. There are things which are open secrets in Malaysia which cannot be shared here. The way our leaders scratch backs, the way they turn a blind eye, the way they give the handshake of death.

I'll admit, at first reading I was estatic that the White Paper was passed. I would have remained blissfully ignorant if our Deputy and Chief hadn't opened their big mouths to try reassure the public that they had their best interests at heart. In that way, I really should thank them. If anything is true, it is that whenever Georgie and T-Rex approve of something, one should pay extreme caution and it would be well worth it to listen to everything and accept nothing.

(Log)Jam Tarts - did you know they voted AGAINST Sarawak??

Politics is full of them and I loathe calling anyone "YB" (Yang Berhormat (Who is Respected); prefix for MPs) for the very reason that giving anyone that title imposes a presumption (at least in my mind) that these would be YBs are the very people who dip their grubby paws into the gold rush spawned by bloodshed, corruption, lies, lust, deceit, malice, greed, cowardice and every kind of evil imaginable.

I can't believe that these damn wusses that we voted into the billion dollar State Legislature (which will probably cause the corrosion of the Waterfront river banks at some point in the future) frickin CHOSE not to debate the motion on who was responsible for the logjam disaster after all that bull about evaluating the situation and standing up for the people. Congratulations! By not standing firm and using your voice, you have conveniently let your people rot and sink under together with all that illegal timber you or your cousin's in-law's nephew is raping from our lands. Unless they have a bloody good reason, I suggest that every single person who voted against moving the motion to hear the issue be voted OUT in the upcoming election. I wonder how many children they managed to send to college by self-emasculation.

Forgive me if I don't call you YB. It means that I still have some hope that maybe you might be able to change things for the better.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Following breadcrumbs

Hansel and Gretel had a nasty stepmom who wanted them better off kicking the bucket so for 3 days she took them jalan-jalan into the woods and left them out high and dry cos she thought they were wet behind the ears. 2 out of the 3 days they managed to come home cos super smart Hansel dropped white pebbles along the path that became the inspiration for our modern day cat-eyes on the road (I'm throwing wild guesses around here). However, on the 3rd day there was no stone pebbles to throw cos nasty stepmom had prevented Hansel from going outside the night before. She suspected that him going out the previous 2 nights had had something to do with their bothersome reappearance (she may be nasty but she ain't no dumb-dumb). So on the 3rd day, instead of pebbles, Hansel threw down breadcrumbs. He was then punished for being wasteful with his food (his stepmom didn't talk about the starving children in Africa) when all the birds came to gobble the bread and they couldn't find their way home (boo hoo).

Am feeling a bit like Hansel and Gretal now, lost in a maze of cannot-compute concepts. But on the upside, what Hansel and Gretal didn't have with them back then was Cadbury, Google, Nokia and Wikipedia. And Esther Anandaraj. So what if they found a gingerbread house?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Cravings IV

Blanched asparagus with softboiled egg
Soup; lots of soup
Grilled salmon teriyaki with bombay potatoes in rosemary and sage
Cucumber salad with lime dressing
Black bean rice Cuban style
Boursin with Portebello mushroom
Stuffed yellow pepper with cous cous, aubergine, sun dried tomatoes and parsley
Lots and lots and lots of  bread. Brioche, Baguette, Bagel, Crumpet, Pikelet, Round loaf, poppyseed, walnut, banana, Roll, Crepe, Pancake, Naan, Tose, Soughdough, Scone, Savoury muffin, Sweet muffin, Ciabatta, Panini (is that even bread?), Cornbread, Pizza...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Christmas list

As part of my unabashed nature to ask for presents... I thought I'd get this out early.

*Prefixed with "Anything" unless followed by something :)
1) Tim Flach - Equus
2) Carl Warner
3) Anne Geddes
4) Vladimir Kush
5) Salvador Dali
6) Linkin Park
7) Laduree
8) Satin - if bedsheets (at least 350 threadcount and not embroidered thanks)
9) Lancome - Tresor in Love
10) Ben & Jerry's - Half Baked

My sister usually chooses pretty cool presents without me asking. *Nah, said something nice about you 'in public.'

Road rage; kiss ass

I have no excuse and offer no apologies for my road rage. Most of the time I am grateful I do not own a hummer, crane or tractor and do not have diplomatic immunity or else many 4-wheeled creatures large and small alike (for I do not discriminate) will find themselves carved with talons of an enraged Velociraptor. Everyday, one of these idiots manage to annoy me to the point where I will readily sacrifice my car into oncoming traffic for the better good. I am talking about cars that keep going when the light has turned red. I have a good mind to accelerate as soon as my way turns green regardless of whether the incompetent driver from the other direction is speeding across the tarmac. From a hopelessly and idealistically romantic and machochistic point of view, I see myself gloating at the would be killer in Court, even as I sustain broken legs and lose more teeth. Argh!

Besides cars that run the red light, cars that refuse to signal appropriately, drive me up the wall. I met with an audacious piece of such trash yesterevening. Not only did this lunatic refuse to signal when cutting lanes, she had a sign in the rear window sporting a cartoon caricature which resembled her ugly mug, pointing to its ass and smirking "Kiss this; pay me."

Let me tell you, payment at that point was the least of my concerns. I was SORELY tempted to not just kiss that car's frickin ass but to drive over it with a steamroller and reverse. Will thereafter have pleaded insanity, intoxication by rage and intense provocation.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Tea Total

*Editor's note: Having just returned from Pullman, I found out that the Passionfruit tea was also from Dilmah. Also, and more importantly discovered that the tea I actually rate as number 3 is not the Passionfruit tea but Pomegranate White by Gryphon. Nevertheless, enjoyed both pots with 4 macaroons. Have amended the list below accordingly.

  • Earl Grey sits comfortably in the Top 10.
  • Lady Grey sits above him.
  • Marsala (with milk and sugar) reigns above her.
  • The Passionfruit Pomegranate White tea from Cafe Chat, Pullman is currently at No.3. (Memo to myself:- must find out the name of the manufacturer)
  • Dilmah's Rose with French Vanilla (pic) is the 2nd best tea I've ever ever ever had; I give it the "I could die and go to Heaven right now" award.
  • Top of the list is still a Taiwanese lavender milk tea at ss.2 PJ, Selangor. It has its own category under "There is no such thing as reality." Will have some next weekend :D

A different kind of wrapping

How nice the world is shrinking
I don't need to have an inkling
Of how to get from A to Z
Because of integrated linking.

How nice the world is round
And blue and green, not brown
Since we will probably meet
It will be better on coloured ground.

How sweet the world is small
And filled with know-it-alls
Who need to know who said what
And better yet who took the fall.

How calm the earth on first Take
Unfortunately now rather fake
Conversation just white noise
I would rather French Vanilla by a lake.

How great the world is wide
Not enough there is to ride
To explore and see and get away
And get lost in the rushing tide.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Chasing Pavements

Sometimes my paranoia affects everything I do and enjoy; even when I'm out on a lunch date with myself.

Smudges on my palette

I wake up to a kampua breakfast and DKNY, wave to the traffic police on the way to work and happily indulge in blackcurrant tea. Then I read the newspaper and my what-started-out-almost-perfect day starts to sound like a tired gong.

It is extremely hard for me to keep a lid on the sentiments of the UMNO Youth Chief as reported in the Star. If what is said is true (unlike Wikipedia that paints a really sugar-and-spice, 'hallowed' light on his character here), then people like him create disunity and disturbance and incite racial hatred and establish road blocks on the path to harmony and mutual respect. It is frustrating and tiresome that so many are given a free rein with their wagging tongues and no threat of f***ing sedition is even mentioned. Let me just quote (according to the Star) some of the phrases and paraphrases that sound dirtier than bringing pork sausages to school.

"He likened the Opposition to a three-headed Roman monster Cerberus."
Cerberus was not so much a monster as he was a dog. Someone clearly has issues with dogs.

"Berpantang maut sebelum ajal, hingga ke titisan darah yang terakhir (Before we die, before the last drop of blood) the warriors of the movement - he's talking about UMNO youth here - will never surrender."
Surrender to what???? What last drop of blood? Someone is forgetting Chinese blood shed on 13 May 1969. Someone is forgetting the hand that raised itself against the people who have actually shed blood. Someone should ask who really did the shedding for this country. We shed and we're still here. We're alienated and prejudiced against in national policies which matter and we're still here. We're called pendatang and we're still here. Maybe, just maybe, we love this Country more than you do.

"He said it would be meaningless should the country become a high-income nation by 2020 but the Malays were still left behind."
I wonder if he knows that only 12% of the rakyat pay income taxes. Talking about becoming a high-income nation is a back-handed slap to the face. I'm also sorry to say this but if the Malays are left behind as a race, it is not the fault of other races who are offered pittance in the so-called fair NEP. One only needs to look into the history of the NEP to see that it has failed to lift the Malay race and has in actual fact, condemned the very people it sought to save. Maybe someone needs to point the blame elsewhere.

Just another separate point to ponder:-

Lim Guan Eng (Opposition MP) mentioned that less than 1% of the 784,900 Malaysians overseas had returned home in the last nine years.
I am part of that 1%. That makes me "special" right? Maybe I'm just stupid for having returned. What future is there for me here? Hishamuddin has already identified with the Pakistanis, Bajaus and Turks as having "Malay" roots and vice versa. What am I waiting for? That the Chinese be called "Malay" as well? Maybe when I'm a certified Malay I'll finally have enough funds to leave this place. Then the Government can go shake legs in the kopitiam wondering how to get me back.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Running in the rain

Most things in life have to be one or the other; you're either a morning person or a night owl; a cat lover or a dog one. You either like butter or margerine; wine or beer; the city or the countryside; walking or running. Whenever I go for my 'run' though, it usually means a very fast walk I walk for two reasons; to get rid of nervous energy, of which I seem to store in surplus and to chill by means of listening to music. I like actual running. I just don't do it very well. Running also causes my earplugs to fall out, which means I can't listen to music while I'm dreaming on my feet, which to me is stressful and defeats the purpose of eliminating nervous energy. So I walk. There are however, days when I do actually run.

It rained yesterday evening. Not your usual obnoxious downpour, it fell politely, as if apologetic for hitting grass and window panes along the way. Usually rain means forgoing my daily run but my feet were having a particular itch to move. So I ran. There was the running and there was the rain and there was, at the end of it all, waiting for me, a large bowl of special mee pok, with char siu oil.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Cravings III

Durian cream puff.
Durian ice cream.
Durian choux pastry.
Deep fried durian.
Durian macaroons.
Durian buffet.
Caramelised durian.
Durian durian.
Going to KL soon to satiate my durian urges.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Hall of mirrors

Changing rooms are truly terrifying. People who look decent, fresh and presentable in 'real time' suddenly warp into hideous, sallow-skinned zombies in that confined, musty-smelling cell that forces you to look at yourself in the most unflattering light as could possibly be.

Facial characteristics are magnified to horrific proportions; zits appear 4 times the size of the moon and previously plucked eyebrows look like they belong to a giant sloth. With a morbid and detached curiosity, as I examined my skin through the looking glass, I felt as though I were standing in the presence of Gulliver's Brobdingnagian or before Frankenstein's creature in my reflection. How strange that what may be a reason for delight can also with a twist of hand, be a source of revulsion.

Hair which before was lustrous and full, turned limp, dry and in this unkind light I spotted a white hair. A single strand, luminiscent and obnoxious, arrogantly and deliberately defying the natural order to remain black. Needless to say I promptly plucked it out. I was halfway through congratulating myself when I noticed another white hair and yet another and yet another. Horrible, nasty, fishing-string-looking things, wired higgledy piggledy all through my head.

Distressed, I refused to continue shopping and went home to salvage the dire straits I had found my head to be in by consuming two bananas. May the potassium work its magic overnight.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Very. Hard. Decision.

Should I save up to further my brain juice or fling my savings madly into a 2-week horse trek to Machu Picchu? It will cost approximately RM15,000 excluding flight to Peru but includes internal flight from Lima to Cuzco. There will be HORSE RIDING (up to 7 hours a day), possible horse poo/pee/hair/other bodily fluids on your leathers and a guaranteed saddle bum. Almost like Heaven*.

It'll be like being back in the Mongolian wilderness with more horse riding. Craziness...

Sien. Nobody is into adventure anymore. Command & Conquer from the cushioned armchair that has your butt imprints sealed into it does not count.

* As subjected to author's fanatical equine obsession

For No One Two Three...

I am...
  • a pedantic scatterbrain... or an absent-minded pedant
  • a Bacardi teetotal
  • a second-hand smoker
  • a short tall order
  • compliantly uncompromising
  • a cold shower
  • a heatwave
  • a raging calm
  • organized spontaneity
  • a realistic idealist
  • a calculating numeralexic
  • pessimistically wishful
  • a long-sighted myopic
  • indifferently curious  
  • an unequal equation
  • an oxymoron
I won't change for Nobody.


I will not be beaten


Least of all by you


This is not funny

Chest constricts, jaw clenches involuntarily


Reflexes in check

I think I need the bathroom

*tumbleweed bounces by*


 *followed by rising crescendo of Spanish guitar (on cue)*

Where's John Wayne when you need him?

Stares opponent down with what is hopefully a menacing look

Nose tickles

I can't sneeze now

My right ear itches

Damn mosquitoes

I wonder what he's thinking?

I hope he needs the loo more than I do

[to be continued...]

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Good news; bad news

The good news is I am light. Like Lurpak Light, not torchlight! Actually, I shouldn't be talking about butter. It makes me want extra thick toast.

The bad news about being light as I discovered last night, is I did not pack enough weight to fix my deflated car tyre. All things went to plan initially. All I had to do was remove the deflated tyre in order to put the spare in. Spanner was in place and I pushed, pressed, stomped and ended up jumping on it, trying to dislodged the nut. The car rocked like a bouncy castle but the screw wouldn't come loose.

Feminism may be the 'in' thing to chase but when it comes to cars, please may the XY chromosome set take over.

Horrible revelation

Was told I sound like HIM. Sounds like, thinks like. What else? Urgh!

Monday, November 01, 2010

Bright Sun Shiny Day

Am in a ridiculously good mood today. That is, until the 4pm shower inconveniently visits, preventing me from my evening brisk walk, forcing me to reroute home and face idiots on the road who don't signal when cutting lanes, at which point the effects of my healthy Muesli lunch will be buried under a pound of dark chocolate. 

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Cuppa storm

A different sort of storm brewed in my cup today; a soothing, blackcurrant one. Check out the matching teaset my sis sent me last Christmas. Makes me want a pair of classy Manolos.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Breathing in the Tempest

Just thinking of calmly and objectively evaluating the squall of emotion that has rocked this fragile paper sailboat for the last fortnight threatens to send dark clouds looming again. Yet even the fist of angry thunder is a mere ache compared to unrelenting reminders of insufficiency and loss. In the blackness of the night when not even stars dare shine revelations of an ordered world, there is nothing but the terrible beauty that breathes wretchedness and demands breath. That I would rather be struck by lightning than never knowing when I will have to do battle with the same daemon that lurks and creeps in the shadows throughout the passage of time; watching, waiting. The soldier stays alert, readied to face the onslaught, yet at the back of the mind, a wish of final surrender and of yearning release. Why work to enforce the buttress each day and each moment when in the end, the lacerations beneath the armour do not heal and new wounds slash deep though the shield may appear intact.

I believe the worst of desolation has passed... for now. In the warm promise of dawn, the overwhelmed paperboat is lifted and dried out by the same wind that previously turned its face against it. The melancholy is forgotten as the faint stars disappear from sight. The wind moves the stricken clouds, gently nudges the beaten beach and bears a lone albatross that has too passed through the storm.The journey continues.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


You may or may not realize that I have opted to remove the punctuation suffixes and/or suffices (the Internet can't seem to make up its mind which plural is correct) from my blog title.

Note: If you're reading this from my Facebook notes, all my notes are automatically transferred from my blog.

I think if one is willing enough to avail oneself to competent written communication, full-stops should prove an adequate companion. Having said that, it would be an anti-climax for a writer to declare "Alas" in woe and not punctuate the emotion with a (!). Just imagine Isaiah deadpanned, in the presence of the Almighty, oscillating in a robotic buzz , "Woe is me. Woe is me." Buzz. Buzz. It just wouldn't work.

Disclaimer: I did say, "I think" and "should" instead of must. It is not to say that exclamation and question marks are not welcomed. I am not a punctuationist.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Animal Farm; it could happen to us

Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself. Chapter 1

All that year the animals worked like slaves. But they were happy in their work; they grudged no effort or sacrifice, well aware that everything they did was for the benefit of themselves and those of their kind who would come after them, and not for a pack of idle, thieving human beings. Chapter 6

No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. Chapter 10

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thinking aloud

  •  ON BAKUN:- When one reads articles on Government funded (read: tax payers) projects like this one on the Bakun Project it is really disheartening that the relevant people in authority are so stupid, for want of a better word.
  • ON VOTING:- Who cares about my vote right? BN (National Line; current ruling government) will just say it's one vote in the whole of Sarawak and they certainly don't need it as they can count on buying votes and rigging ballots.
  • ON BN VS. PKR:- I'm not actually anti-BN (even though it may certainly sound like it) but I'm not pro-PKR (People's Justice Party) either. In as much as BN has floundered and blundered its way for the last 50 odd years and has until only recently treated the common citizen worse than clueless water buffalo, I don't see PKR doing much either except vocally supporting their 5-minutes of fame hungry de facto leader. Maybe the good stuff just doesn't make the news.
  • ON THE GOOD GUYS:- As with any coalition, the bad guys make the news more than the good. I personally know of politicians from BOTH ends who are actually taking steps to secure fairer treatment of the rakyat. I would like them to step up to the public eye more.
  • ON PRINCIPLES:- What I am against is double standards, corruption and worse still, the pathetic attempts at concealing or excusing said corruption. It's one thing to have obviously corrupt people leading us; it's another to have cowardly, stupid people backing the obviously corrupt.
  • ON FANFARE:- Most Malaysian politicians (note: not all) love the pomp and circumstance that come packaged in the latest Mercedes product. Thank goodness for checks and balances provided by the real world outside their hierarchical cocoon (read here and here).
  • ON THE NEP:- When I say I'm against double standards, I'm not talking about Malay rights here; in my view the New Economic Policy (NEP) has succeeded only in dividing the Malays themselves; the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. All the NEP does for non-bumi folk is to make official what we have known and lived through all along. The Bumi(s) can KEEP the NEP. That is the least of my worries.
  • ON GRASSROOTS:- A sudden lightbulb in my head! I believe that Malaysians should write in monthly to their local MP bringing to light at least one issue that is bugging them. Let's pretend that our MP is unfortunately, completely ignorant of the outside world and that we are tasked with floating revelations their way.
  • ON STUPID COMMENTS:- Ooops, did I floating? I guess I did since "some people" can say the Rajang has reached 'stable' levels when boats are beached, sediment is affecting the river bed and people can WALK across the Rajang. These airheads are the same people who will thick-headedly and stubbornly insist that water levels are stable when the Rajang dries up completely. Maybe the Egyptians too were building a dam when Moses crossed the sea eh?
  • ON BUYING POWER:- Does the Bank Negara Malaysia (National Bank) Governor feel nothing that the dirty dollars traded bear her signature?
  • ON BEING SARAWAKIAN:- I may not wade in the Rajang anymore or eat sago worms or literally scalp an enemy. I may prefer grapes to mangosteen and dream in English and not Iban or Chinese. I don't need to wave my Sarawak equivalent keris around to punctuate my identity.  
  • ON MY STAND:- I pledge not to party but to State and my affiliations are not to name(s) but to policy; I do not support titles but creeds; I do not support talk but the walk; I do not support promises but results; I do not measure success by statistics but by human impact; I do not heed what is said but what remains unsaid. I take everything with a bag of salt.   

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I have a headache.
It's raining so I can't go for my run.
I'm hungry.
I'm tetchy.
I'm grumpy.
The day is awful.
Did I mention that I have a headache. Might even be a MIGRAINE.
Amazing source of Grumpy T-rex

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the LORD
and He will give you the desires of your heart"

does NOT mean

"Be happy with Jesus
and He will give you a boyfriend."

Hello??!! Doesn't it follow if you truly delight in God, that your desire will be... guess what? God.

Bakun Damned

The people of East Malaysia are holding their breath as flooding of the Bakun Dam commences. Coupled with the burning season, this promised land has already dried up.

The mammoth monument is supposedly the tallest concrete-faced rockfill in the world and the largest in Asia outside China. Before you whoop for joy and stupidly holler "Malaysia Boleh!" consider that China is approximately 7 times the size of Sarawak and is embedded in the world's largest Continent, compared to the island of Borneo. I am horrified. Environmentalists have spoken against it. Has there been a charter to address these issues? Do the leaders wonder what will happen if the dam bursts? If the Malaysian Government and associated ministers had consistently demanded high-quality goods then maybe my fears may be allayed but where relatives are given preference over merit, there is little to hope for.

Will the mighty Rajang one day turn into the drain of the Klang River?

Thank you Malaya, for giving us Bakun Dam. Thank you for leaders who enjoy free electricity from our Dam in the name of power. Thank you for raiding our villagers and having scant regard for the culture and way of life and worth of our natives; our bumiputera. Thank you for destroying our flora and fauna and our water catchment areas. Thank you if the cure for cancer were lost in the demolition of our virgin forests. Thank you for hoarding the profits of our produce and leaving Sarawak to subsist on the negligible amount you carve out for us in your budget plans. Thank you for propagating that the only jungle worth having is a concrete one. Thank you for the stagnant reminder of why East Malaysians continue to hold West Malaysia at arm's length.

Speaking from my line of work, I do not believe that West Malaysians should be afforded any right of Court in Sabah & Sarawak, ad hoc or otherwise. I do nevertheless salute the Malayan Bar Council for its apparent independence, commended efficiency and strict adherence to the health of justice. Unfortunately, the Bar Council cannot prevent injustice in every circumstance. It cannot watch each member or prevent every shady deal. At the risk of increasing efficiency and expanding pioneering areas, Sarawak may lose her affability and the foreseen influx of unchecked injustice into our legal system would be too great. West Malaysians have to be told; they do not have it all. And if they ask why, just point to the Bakun Dam.

Monday, October 18, 2010


As a general rule, songs are a display of emotion so to that end, I usually do not fault the song or the singer even if I may not completely agree with the lyrics. "Christian songs" however, especially songs that we are expected to sing as a congregation, is to me, more than a preference of selective emotion, but a declaration of the gospel and our Christian faith.

Please note that the following songs come from artists who have also penned other songs with excellent theology. This exercise is not intended to rubbish the songs out there or to diss the worship leader who chose the songs but an attempt to force us to listen to the lyrics and digest their literal meaning (even if the intention behind the lyrics may have been good) and not just head-bob to a good tune.

Based on the aforementioned stand, I find the following songs especially hard to stomach and sing because of the lyrics in italics:-

1) Above all (Michael W. Smith)
Contention:- As much as I dislike the phrase "like a rose trampled on the ground" because it reminds me too much of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" from Batman Forever, the line I find most offensive is "You took the fall, and thought of me, above all."

Reason:- The lyics appear to mean that at the Cross, Jesus thought of me above all, not God the Father or Holy Spirit or His Will or His Name or His Glory or the Trinity. Humans have a wonderful way of making everything about them and/or centre around them.

2) Christmas isn't Christmas
Contention:- "Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts."

Reason:- I believe the work of a transformed life begins with God the Father electing, God the Son dying for the elect and God the Holy Spirit convicting. So no, I don't believe that "Christmas" in its Christian meaning begins deep inside me. Further, the Bible states, "No one seeks God, all have turned away." Even our hearts have turned away so no amount of fuzzy feelings Christmas presents bring can turn that stone heart around unless it starts outside us.

3) Majesty (Delirious/ Steve Green/ Jason Morant)
Contention:- "Knowing that I'm your desire."

Reason:- See (1) above. Me me me me me. This verse alone is enough to put me off singing in church.

I think three is enough for now. I don't know what I'm irked more by; drivers who don't signal or Christian songs with poorly constructed lyrics.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Cravings II

I had a cup of black tea and 2 crackers for breakfast (healthy).

Found myself wishing the crackers came with cottage cheese, cracked black pepper and chives. While you're at it, please throw in a couple of lightly toasted pikelets with a generous slab of creamy peanut butter, a thick, sweet waffle with butter and maple syrup, about 3 crepes topped with lemon and sugar, pink guava juice or green, if you've run out of pink, a bowl of Post cereal (honey bunches of oats with almonds) and to finish off, a pint of Ben&Jerry's Half Baked. I won't reject a bowl of seedless grapes either.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Munch... Chant.. Hate.

Otherwise referred to as Eat. Pray. Love.

Why are the foundational principles behind Elizabeth Gilbert's best-selling novel turned Julia Robert's film so successful? I haven't read the book or watched the film and do not intend to but from the book and movie reviews I've mentally collected, the plot appears to have hit that generally specific core of human emotion. I also find it intriguing that the three chosen title verbs powerfully affect the bedrock of what it means to be human both in its negative implications and positive far-reaching effects. Each qualification is in and of itself rather boring; eat being a biological function, pray a religious one and love? Well, love is something Walt Disney conjured up over pumpkin pie.

Apply it in life's context however, and we find that "eat" umbrellas the ugly pandemic of obesity and anorexia, "pray" is something even the non-religious take part in and "love?" Love is something Hollywood banks on to maintain its Beverly Hills lifestyle. Maybe that was stretching it a bit, what I meant was the promise of love for what better way to keep audiences addicted and floating back for more than to have them keep hoping?

The truth is, we all want to eat, pray and love. We just want to do it on our terms. I would love to be able to dig into a 500g, inch-think, medium-rare, lightly seasoned and sealed, Wagyu steak, served with textured mashed potato mixed with 4 cheeses, salad (hold the tomatoes) with garlic-herb croutons and a drizzle of EVOO as well as a side dish of juicy Portebello mushrooms with a nut, sage, lime and olive stuffing, without having to worry about the calories, cholesterol, cardiac arrest, expanding waistline, laps round the pool and daily crunches I will have to do to return to status quo. In reality, only the superhuman among us with that enviable and elusive high metabolic rate rest easy. The rest of normal humanity will be huffing on treadmills trying to fit into "the average" size 6 (size 4 in the U.S.). We are a world culture obsessed with eating, the effects of eating, how not to eat, how to eat well, how to eat right for your blood type, how to overcome wanting to eat, how to have my cake and eat it albeit slowly with a gastric bypass. We savour our food with a lust for more; the same lust that carves out greed and gluttony.We don't love our eat.

What about pray? Everyone prays. Even the Atheist prays. I'm sure there is an least one devout Atheist out there who shouts, "For God's sake!" at some point in the day. We pray we won't be late for that all important function. We pray there won't be a strike this year (keep praying). We pray that we will get that job, that car, that girl. We bring our little wishlists to Heaven's throne but don't acknowledge the Giver. We want to keep receiving the perks of living in God's created world (because then it'll be easy to blame someone when things go wrong) but refuse to follow the housekeeping rules. I wonder if God installed a 'default' prayer mode into our system to remind us that there is Someone out there beyond our minute world and its finite timeline. Everytime we pray, we can either choose to ignore that we have just referred to Someone outside ourselves (as most of us do) or we can pause and wonder why is it we do pray. Maybe you're a lunatic or you're trying to make yourself feel better by lying to yourself. Either that, or there is a possibility that beyond the world as you know it, there is a God that cannot but attract our prayers, whether we believe in Him or not. Do you love who you pray to?

Love is too complex to explain on a Wednesday afternoon.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Between the lines

The Malaysian Prime Minster was recently applauded for stating the obvious at the recent MCA general assembly. For those not in the know, MCA is the Chinese faction in the current ruling government's coalition.

According to the Star, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak emphatically stated that Malaysian Chinese were not immigrants and had been loyal to the nation for the past three to five generations.

As much as I do appreciate the gesture which puts him in a far better light than his carpet-sweeping counterparts, the fact that he even had to clarify that the Chinese were not immigrants beggars belief and shows up at best the comical and at worst the absurd situation of Malaysian racial politics. Do the Chinese really need to be told that they belong? Perhaps the statement was necessary to ally voters in the next election, or to beseech would-be homecoming Malaysians, or on a more noble scale, to make public his principles. What he did not say however, was that such statements made were sedition.

(Note: I really do not care for the Sedition Act or its heavy consequences (such as custodial sentences) except that in Malaysia it appears that the threat of executing the same is not by the merit or force of the allegation, but by which race it affects.)

I believe what the Prime Minister could do to truly support his convictions (if they indeed are) is to make that speech as emphatically at the next UMNO general meeting, the Malay faction of the coalition, considering the direction from whence grew forth the accusations. I would also kindly ask him to remind his followers that sedition cuts both ways although I seriously doubt that he will.

In fact, when I watched the news, I was considerably annoyed that whilst he mentioned that the Chinese were immigrants 5 generations ago, he made no comparison to the Malay or Indian communities who were also immigrants at some point in history. It really doesn't matter when. In reality the only true bumipteras are the ethnic groups of neither Malay, Chinese or Indian and if we want to take this debate back to Paleolithic times then all of us should be tip-toeing round this blessed island in case the Paleolithic Man arises and reclaims his territory.

The proof shall be in the pudding but right now the pudding's black.  Tanah tumpah darahku, dude. Paid in blood.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Can't see the wood for the tree?

The scratch art below was inspired during a Tim Chester site visit.

The meaning was lost on some when I conducted a test run so I decided to save everyone the mental hernia and just explain it. It is all too easy to miss the wood around us when we're staring at a tree. It is easy to lose sight of the big picture of unimaginable dimension when we're caught up in the daily grind. That I am righteous in Christ, before God, is sometimes taken for granted, overlooked or missed altogether when faced with a really bad hair day, even when I'm wearing orange.

Gimp-ing to conclusion

Am trying to comprehend GIMP2 and failing miserably.

Thursday, October 07, 2010


Someone asked me, "Why must Malaysia have the word 'Malay' in it? Isn't that unfair?"

Brain progression:-

If we joined the words Malaya with Sabah and Sarawak what else can we get? No, you can't get rid of m-a-l-a-y from the word because it's what the Peninsular is called. It's like asking for a reason why India sounds like i-n-d-i-a-n even though there are other races living there.

So, common denominator of Sabah and Sarawak is "Sa."

Option 1
"Sa" means "ones" in numerical terms as in, "What is 432?" Answer: four hundreds, three tens and two ones.

Ones-Malaya. One Malaya. Sounds like.... One Malaysia.

The irony!
I guess maybe our Prime Minister had the same idea given our 1Malaysia political programme.

Really, Malaysia could've saved a lot more money if they had taken time to conduct a branding brainstorm.

I hope they're planning to offer equal-opportunity, non-discriminatory perks to Malaysians CURRENTLY living in Malaysia since they're so eager to RETRIEVE overseas Malaysians to enhance the talent pool. Yoo hoo???? Or do I need to go overseas first to benefit from this nation building exercise?

Option 2
Would people be happier if "Sa" were given literal preference? Hmm...


Sounds like, "Samalah ya?" (translation: It's the same innit?)

I guess we have our answer.


I can't decide on which horse tat to get. Google offers too many and I only have one right shoulder blade. Why is this sounding more and more like a Tweet? I refuse to subscribe to Tweet. I refuse to use "tweet" as a verb unless in reference to birds or chickens. Are chickens birds?

Thousand knives

These days trees are fashioned less into spears to gut man and more into paper to shred him. Keep the thumb of malice chilled and spurred. Leave survivors tormented, tortured, undead and sub-living.

Have employers ever been sued over a papercut?

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

The truth of the matter is...

Everyone harbours the secret hope that "everything will work out." Unfortunately, as Michael Learns to Rock would have it, for many, it will be 25 minutes too late.

Treasure & Thorns

Isn't it a wonder that apart from Jesus, my greatest treasure is my biggest thorn? That which I will fight and change for is also that which distracts me from the unseen work for my Heavenly Father. That which I willingly labour for competes with the toil of sowing and reaping that is before me. That I may lay down my life for such treasure surely contradicts any supposed full surrender of my life to Christ. My biggest thorn. Paul asked for it to be removed 3 times. God's answer remains the same for us both. I trust it will be given; His grace for His work.

Monday, October 04, 2010

I verily believe...

that the contents of this blog could possibly secure me a place in Business Psychology Postgraduate Studies or at the very least gives me a stab at becoming a human lab rat for psychology-related experiments.

I find it strange and amusing that in affidavits (legal documents where people state their side of the story) everyone has to state that the facts they submit are verily believed to be true but does it ever mention the state of mind of the said person? Can a schizophrenic submit an Affidavit? Can a person with Multiple-Personality Disorder? Can a Paranoid Narcissist? Can an OCD liar?

"I verily believe that everything in this Affidavit will be untruths because I am a compulsive liar."

Now is that the truth or a lie? For if it were truth then the above statement would be a lie but if it were a lie, the reverse of every subsequent statement may not necessarily add up to truth.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Changing moments

Realities change. Every day. Every minute of every day. Every second of every minute. You don't even have to watch the stock market go through its compulsive daily seizures and read about the lives that are carried along in its frenzied wake to take notice of change. Change. We hardly dare embrace her yet are eager to be enticed in the same breath. Change, alluring indeed. We all want to know her charms, her promises, her touch, her elevated anticipations. We all want to bask in her approval and seek solace in her whispers of fulfillment and possible satisfaction yet few find her because few truly search for her though many may dream.

Change, some deride will come regardless so why search for something that will come in its own time? The irony of change for some is that it never seems to well, change. Expectations for some are as predictable as the seasons, routine, safe, with a degree of assumed understanding, boring. You finish high school. You go to college. Get a job. Get married. Have a baby. What if I really enjoy being a chicken farmer in Anchorage and who cares that chickens can't survive there?

Change cannot reveal what change is not allowed to. If I were spinning on my axis in equal tangent, distance, speed and whatever other quantum physics may come up with, in relation to every other person in the world, even though I may change within my axis, if everything else were altered accordingly, then, though the change may have occured, the impact of the change is never felt as every other equation still adds up. That's the problem with expectations. It expects that presuppositions will be naturally absorbed by the other's axis which will then make the necessary adjustments and realign itself accordingly.

Yes, realities change. The reality we once shared is no longer the reality I live in which means it can no longer be the reality you can live in, even if you may want to.

BMI = Body Mass Index = Big Middle Institution

I am a lousy dieter with no long-term self-control. Thank goodness for that actually or else I might actually achieve my goal of being 45 kilos by just not eating. According to the International BMI I'm smack right in the middle of good health but according to the Asian BMI, I'm 0.1 points away from being oveweight and since us South-East Asians are generally kiasu and don't like ending up at the bottom (or looking like one), I guess something has to be done.

So I tried. This morning I had one mouth of whole grain toast and one cup of black tea. Success!

Then I went to work and someone had bought really nice, oily, yam cakes to share and I had TWO. Fail!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I'm sick and fluey

Possible responses:-

1) Oh dear. Poor you.

2) Yeah the bug's been going round.

3) Maybe you need to up your Vit C.

4) Your immune system is bad.

5) Again???? Go die!!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

If I had a tractor... I would ram (vehicles in blue)

Blocking road users by running the red light

 Blocking other roads users by Lemming induced kiasuness

Jumping queue

Dumb Asses

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Bank on the Piggy

If you can't tell your honey from the money
Or the goal from the gold
Or the rash from the cash
It's time to let go

Where your aim is just fame
And your bling is your ching
And your shine becomes grime
Where your bright is now shite 
Where your tongue becomes dung
Don't come near
Reek of fear
That your god isn't best
For your best is your god

What started good
got sidetracked
When you saw
how money stacked
Once was for them
Is now for you
And all the glory
You want anew

Quit comparing night to day
Or were you simply brought up that way?
Perhaps it's really not your fault
That your heart leans to the Vault
Surely, surely, others a part did pave
What's it to you anyway?
Forlorn from your gold-leaf grave.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Scurried trip

Back from my holiday

Now to get some rest

Wednesday, September 08, 2010


It is always hard to talk about national loyalty without stepping on some toes. Harder still to maintain one's cool when trying to assess the situation when everyone has an opinion ether way and wants to be heard. Harder yet when the people whose toes you are likely to step on (either way) are prone to bouts of paranoia, assuming the badge of a matyred pariah as justification for any knee-jerk reaction tinged with personal agenda (just for clarification, "knee-jerk" does not mean the knee is a jerk; at this rate Malaysia will soon be giving the States a run for their Politically Correct money).

The parties involved in this racial mess are made up of more than just a 3-way street and by that I don't mean Ali, Ah Chong and Muthusamy (goodness, no!). For the purposes of trying to pick through the emotional pulp of points have been hammered so often, too loudly and without any intention of actually resolving the issue that they all look the same to me, I choose rather to divide the relationship by way of role, function and effect as follows:-

a) Top-Bottom
b) Bottom-Up

If the above suggestion sounds at best annoyingly simple or at worst blasphemous (I mean, who knows these days?), then perhaps a brief psychological analysis of Political History should be added as an additional component in our History paper. I am not claiming to know every reason why certain policies were implemented and/or failed and/or succeeded (I am NOT singling out the NEP or NDP specifically but if you know what they stand for I know you thought I was) neither am I going to shred them or propagate them or even attempt to analyse their intricacies. I am simply drawing my own layman observations in the life I have led, what I have seen with my own eyes, news the Media has told me or made me to believe and the reaction of the Ruling party(s) and other layman citizens in Malaysia.

The best place to root my observations would be to state my fact-based position in this matter, things that unless changed by suitable authority will remain unchanged. For consideration, I have listed the priority of the following facts according to importance.


Being Christian does not mean those who are not Christians are less than I am. Loving Jesus and knowing Him means I want for everyone to love Him and know Him too but that is a decision each will take in their own journey from cradle to grave. I do not believe that a person is a Christian or loves Jesus or has rejected his current beliefs, whatever they may be, by virtue of him sitting in a church pew or listening to a sermon or hearing another friend talk about Jesus. Religion may accede to that but a relationship really doesn't work that way folks.

As it stands, our Constitution reads that all Malays are by default, Muslim. I haven't read the subsequent clauses to it but I would like to know if the defiition only refers to current Malay citizens of Malaysia or Malays at large, the latter being a ridiculous notion. Imagine if I had a 3rd generation Malay friend living in another country who is a non-Muslim. How can it be possible that he will have to change his religion the moment he sets foot on Malaysian soil by virtue of the law that all Malays are Muslim?

I am not challenging any Muslim rights, doctrine or the like, rather I am questioning if Malay rights have been given as much priority as presupposed just because it has always been assumed that all Malays are Muslim. "You are therefore you are" does not allow for any discernment or practice of human will; the subject is confined by sanction and individuality removed by this forced merge of 2 separate identities. The subject in this case has been limited to one race alone. Imagine if a ruling were passed that all Chinese were constitutionally Buddhist. There is certainly some food for thought there. Have compassion before you jump the gun.

Being female is self-explanatory. I have a running series of the same alphabet.

I am a Sarawakian. I am proud of our Rajah Brooke Heritage, headhunters, sago worms and birds' nest. I love our open house days which incidentally I believe is actually a Malay culture (correct me if I'm wrong). I grew up listening to Bujang Senang stories (giant, man-eating, local crocodile myth(?) that lived in the Rajang River) and all his relatives Bujang so-and-so. Where else are you going to find Foochow food on a regular basis? What would you do without kompia, kampua, mee sua and hu ngang? I still think Ibu Pertiwiku (state song) is too long but it means the prefects in school don't have to raise the flag so quickly! I love that mixed marriages are perfectly normal. I love tempoyak, terung dayak and terung pipitDabai rocks something awesome!!! We even filed Geographical Indication for it. I am grateful that we're further away from the tension in the Federal Territory. I didn't even sniff racism till I went to KL. I love that there are over 40 indigenous tribes in Sarawak (even though none of them are affiliated with horses :( for that I have to go to Sabah). See why I get irked by television commercials which (overly) try to claim racial harmony when they only feature Ali, Ah Chong and Muthusamy?

Sarawak has truly been blessed with abundant biodiversity, undiscovered natural resources and old-as-rain general revelation painted in by our Maker. We are Malaysia's primary source of petroleum, natural gas, pepper and unfortunately, timber. It is one thing for the Federal Territory to deny the state the true value of resources that have been drained out of it, although I wouldn't speculate what happens behind closed doors. It is another to bite the hand that feeds you and Sarawak has been incredibly generous. Just look at the Twin Towers.

I am not concerned whether or not Sarawak could have generated enough revenue from her own shores to declare her independence from Malaysia; all we ask is to be treated fairly and equally. I digress for a moment and refer to our Constitution. Whilst it is a stalwart non-issue that a Malay is by default a Muslim, there has been talk (for the benefit of our leaders I will consider it a rumour although by virtue of knowing the people's sentiments, the leaders should be put on notice) that the foundations of the formation of Malaysia may be compromised at the expense of Sarawak and her inhabitants. This is the double standard hypocrisy I spit at.

However, I also believe in being proactive. Just because Sarawak is by nature laid back, generally satisfied with less and due to geographical advantage, is less pressured by the social strain that inflicts Malaya, I would say that Sarawak could do a little more in standing up for herself to prevent being bullied by the 'mean girls' at school who are more insecure than she is.

In the name of development, a dam the size of Singapore had initially been planned in the heartland of Sarawak. There is no need to detail the irreplaceable and incomparable devastation that would have occurred. Although the dam was since scaled down, there are working plans for a further 5 dams to be built in the state. My stand is that this is unacceptable in all its possible terms, despite all its alleged benefits.

I love Sarawak and all her people. My question to those in charge of building and/or funding these mega projects far away from their hedged backyards, and more importantly to the world at large is this, should the dams burst, or should anything 'unnatural' (unnatural does not mean unforseeable) occur due to the start or abandonment of these projects, who will be charged for the multiple counts of genocide that will almost certainly occur especially in the case of the former situation?

Or does nobody care anymore?

A sinister and disturbing thought indeed, and one which I speak of, not to incite any "knee-jerk" reactions to the here and now but necessary in forming forward-looking resolutions and forging the preservation of this land.

Malaysia, tanah tumpahnya darahku. I think we Malaysians need to be smarter in the way we deal with issues thrown our way. In school we were always told, "Don't just work hard; work smart." What do we do when newspapers report that Indians and Chinese are fighting over ABC in XYZ? What is our reaction when people speak of burning the Malaysian flag? How did we handle the fire-bombing of places of worship? Do we let the Media dictate our thoughts or do we find out facts for ourselves?

The unfortunate advantage of having been spoonfed at School is that we are masters of regurgitation. We hear some news and we regurgitate it to whoever will listen, whether or not the facts are proven to be true. The newspaper provides a great source of entertainment for me, especially those with catchy headlines where specific words are coloured red for added emphasis. For example, 2 guys have a personal-not-related-to-race-at-all quarrel which ends up in a fight. One happens to be Malay and one is Chinese. The headline will read "Malay man stabs Chinese."

My personal opinion on the burning of religious places is that the people who did it were either grossly misinformed, hooligans who took advantage of a sensitive situation or one-off fanatics who do not represent the views of Malaysians as a whole. I actually believe the Media, for whatever motive it may hold, has played a direct part in attempting to and/or inciting this mess. There is reporting and there is reporting. Don't let the Media get to you. Don't let fear flare when there is nothing to be afraid of. But then again truth is always stranger than fiction.

Hate leads us nowhere.

People who go overseas and then slag Malaysia without doing anything about it, I have two words for you. "Shut Up."

I am a Banana. Calling me penumpang does nothing to me. On the other hand it does something for me. It makes me laugh at you and reveals the accuser's ignorance.

As I see it, the real tension going on between races is not a result of being diverse in race nor does it have anything fundamentally to do with religion. It lies in a very human combination of factors. The wave of effect from a Top-Down level rides on unchecked corruption, imbalanced policies, uncertain duration, poor execution and stale rigidity. Corruption will never be too far away from power and their aim should not be to merely theoreticize about the 'bigger picture' of 'corruption free' but to ensure that enforcement does what the edict says. However complicated leaders are, the Bottom-Up citizens who look to them for guidance also contribute with their wave of inflated expectations, passive grumbling, back-stabbing and irresponsible demonstrations that reek of disrespect not just against the leaders they are upset with but also against their own country and body.

All these issues manifest in all of us, whatever our skin colour, blood type, weight, height, sexual orientation, language, aspirations, allergies, age or religion. People who hop on the bandwagon but leave their brains at home should be given the "Whatever Minger" sign and sent to coventry :)

Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth. Now I can go enjoy my holiday :p

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Saturday, September 04, 2010

From kitchen with love

I baked
some mega chocolate popping crazyness cookies today
to help our youth group 
contribute towards the Social Concern Ministry.
Initially I wanted to flood the cookies
with caramel and marshmallows
on top of
the crushed hazelnuts, almond nibs and chocolate
but I didn't want to be a source of diabetes...

A preview of what will go on sale tonight:-

40 cookies all wrapped up

Yeah it's for Social Concern; be concerned. Worry about the calories later ;)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

No lab rat


Apparently Zoloft isn't making Brownie (more) happy.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Best of both worlds

An Independent Malaysia?

1) Please practise and understand the art of sarcasm before reading any further. The author will not be held responsible for any heart attacks and/or partial and/or full strokes and/or increase in blood pressure to an unhealthy level due to reader being either overweight or possessing clogged arteries or both, as it is. The definition of "unhealthy level" is not subject to personal opinion and/or interpretation but shall follow the guidelines of the WHO which for your information, does not refer to the rock band.

2) Namecalling which includes but is not limited to monkey, dog or pig: When such namecalling is practised, the author is not doubting recipients' genetic foundations, neither is the author saying that recipients of such namecalling eat the aforesaid, think like one or are in any way biologically related to and/or resemble the same. The word 'poodle' in the blog title does not refer to fluffy haired ministers or idiots. Do not insult poodles; they are extremely intelligent. As are pigs.

3) The author believes that tolerance is a 2-way street without which, oppression would be a more suitable replacement. The number and or word two(2) is not subject to reintepretation and has linguistic and/or numerical immunity from the Sedition Act.


In the papers yesterday I read that the "Religious Police" were cracking down on Muslims who failed to adhere to the fasting month. The article quoted that Kuching was the worst culprit, hosting the highest number of people who failed to live up to the expectations of the Religious Police chose to eat which will no doubt be some fanatic's minister's excuse to flood Kuching with Islamic religious authorities and erect a giant green arrow in the sky pointing towards the alleged holy land. As expected, the said fa... minister will vehemently and strenuously propagate this idealism in the name of stupidity tolerance BEFORE the truth of the article is verified and by then it would be too late. Our only reminder of the RM1 billion spent, which could have otherwise been used in social welfare or in combatting crime, would be a giant neon edifice in the sky, which as most Malaysian products go, will probably disintegrate in the first rainstorm, not because Malaysian products are of low quality, but because incompetent fools relatives obviously deserve the tender for the project more than penumpang strangers with international recognition.

I believe that a Muslim's decision to fast is a decision made between the person and God and that that relationship should be honoured. The last time I checked, a threesome isn't permitted.

Brace yourself people, elections are coming soon. The side of the roads have been painted and bonuses paid out.

Sometimes I wonder if colonialism left too soon.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Animal Pranks on the Ark

Transcript in case the words are blur:-

Lion: Here he comes. Give me half a dozen.
*Bird plucking feathers*