Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Top 10 indications

You know you're in Malaysia when:-

1) "I see you in 5 minutes" means 15, 15 means 30 and 30 means 120. Do the maths.

2) Lepakking (loitering aimlessly) is a legitimate pastime.

3) Teh tarik (type of Indian tea) kurang manis (less sugar) means only 5 tablespoons of sugar

4) The first decision that involves thinking every morning is deciding what to eat

5) Bata is synonymous with shoes

6) Petaling Street is automatically tipped as a tourist hot-spot

7) Anyone can watch English, Cantonese, Hokkien, Tamil and Hindi movies and understand it perfectly if they can understand the Malay subtitles that go with it

8) Most advertisements will have a least one Malay, Chinese and Indian to (over)emphasise racial harmony so that 'no one' feels left out. Someone clearly forgot the Iban, Bidayuh, Melanau, Bisaya, Lun Bawang, Orang Ulu, Kayan, Kadazan, Bajau, Murut, Oang Asli, Penan, Baba Nyonya, Peranakan...

9) Voices over the intercom in trains, airports and radio sound like Americans trying to speak English like a local (like Chow Yun Fatt in "Anna and the King")

Finally....

10) You KNOW you are in Malaysia and have truly assimilated when... Nasi lemak, nasi kerabu, nasi goreng cina, nasi goreng pattaya, mee hailam, dim sum, nasi goreng usa, chee cheong fun, woh teah, gu bak mi, ipoh hor fun, ipoh hor hee, bamboo chicken, lotus root soup, ginseng chicken soup, sze chuan chicken soup, pek tin soup, groundnut and pig tail soup, ying yong, tau iu tu bak, lo bak, tu ka, ke ka, ang chiu ak, tomato mee, roti canai, roti telur bawang, maggi goreng, roti tisu, limau ais, cin cau, nasi briyani, murukku, chak fun, chendol, laksa, kari, mee jawa, kampua mee, kolo mee, mee pok, longan ais, wantan mee, murtabak, butter pork, dhal, squid with egg, ngo mi teng, sea coconut and lemon, lo mai kai, pi tan, chicken kurma, char siu pau, siu pau (different from char siu pau :p), hu ngang, egg foo yong, pohpiah, seng kam chui, bidin cha sardin, ocien, mani chai, 'wall band' and 'mat to lo' ... all sound like home to you.

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