Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's Resolutions

Why do we make resolutions? Because we know we can be improved. Because we can, in the half-light, vaguely grasp what it might look like to be perfect. Because deep down, we realize that we were made for greater things. I'm not talking about being a top football or grade scorer or finding a cure for AIDS. We were made for a relationship with God; a perfect relationship without fear or judgment. Clearly we do not have that now and yet many of us refuse to acknowledge that for all our resolutions, on our own accord, away from God, we cannot do the one thing that really matters; improve.

By God's grace, I will endeavour to:

Swear less frequently.
Halt gossip.
Be kind in manner and speech.
Basically holding my tongue.

I could say I will try eat less chocolate but I know that won't be followed through.

By the way

If you want to see what I was up to my elbows in over the Christmas hols go here.

My true love gave to me (Kuching Special)

I did say I was working on something special the last few days. I believe for (real) Kuching people, it will prove a particularly sweet note. Sing to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas.
See below for a glossary.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

A big bowl of char siu kolo mee!


On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!


On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

FIVE-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

6 kampua mees, 5-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

7 red eyes, 6 kampua mees, 5-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!


On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

8 woh teahs, 7 red eyes, 6 kampua mees, 5-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

9 mee poks, 8 woh teahs, 7 red eyes, 6 kampua mees, 5-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!


On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

10 mangolimes, 9 mee poks, 8 woh teahs, 7 ed eyes, 6 kampua mees, 5-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!


On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

11 mee suas, 10 mangolimes, 9 mee poks, 8 woh teahs, 7 red eyes, 6 kampua mees, 5-layered teh-si-peng! 4 choki-chokis, 3 lui chas, 2 white ladies and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!


(Crescendo) On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....


12 Sarawak laksas
11 mee suas
10 mangolimes
9 mee poks
8 woh teahs
7 red eyes
6 kampua mees
5-layered teh-si-peng!
4 choki-chokis
3 lui chas
2 white ladies...

and a big bowl of char siu kolo mee!!!

===========================================

Glossary (not alphabetical):

Laksa: Bi hun (or mee hun, depending on dialect) cooked in sour/spicy coconut soup served with belacan and lime.

Belacan: Prawn paste

Mee sua: Traditional Foochow soup noodles. Especially popular among grandmothers to feed grandchildren because the long strings of noodles represent long life and long ties with family.

Mangolime: An ice blended drink served in a bowl. Has lime, chendol and jelly in it among other things.

Mee pok: Pok means 'flat' in Hokkien. self explanatory.

Woh teah: Pan fried meat dumplings eaten with garlic and soy sauce.

Red eye: Not conjunctivitis. A drink with sweetened milk, rose syrup and lychees thrown together. Hawker stalls' version of a mocktail.

Kampua mee: Another Foochow dish. Noodles tossed in sesame oil and garnished with pork and spring onions.

5-layered teh-si-peng: Iced milk tea with 5 layers. The best thing to hit Kuching since kolo mee.

Choki-choki: Poor man's version of chocolate mousse.

Lui cha: Chopped vegetables served with bitter soup.

White lady: Another road side mocktail. This time with pineapple and lychee.

Kolo mee: You are not a Kuchingite of you've not eaten Kolo mee. You are also not a Kuchingite if you don't know where the dinosaur rock is located.

On the eve of the eve

aM in tHe mIDdlE oF dOinG an aLL niGHteR aT a frIEnd's pLace aFTer plAYing TenNis And Am feEliNg WooZy... gOinG foR breAKfast thEN mAyBe tHIS wILl mAkE mOre SENse... SeE yOu aT nooN. SeeING TynG tHis eVEnInG FOr yEE saNG...

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Love is...

Context:
I had prepared an "Amazing Race" style treasure hunt for my brother's 12th birthday last Monday. I got them to count beans, shoot hoops, perform 'road blocks' and 'detours,' crack codes and eat food as part of the various challenges. One of the clues was from the ever popular nursery rhyme,

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
What is Humpty Dumpty?

You know you love someone when he shouts out, "Humpty Dumpty is a basketball!!!" and rushes off in the wrong direction with all the other teams following suit, leaving me to quickly intervene to prevent a catastrophe.

N.B: In case you didn't know, Humpty Dumpty is an egg and the clue was in the kitchen.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Home again

I'm enjoying being home too much to talk much about it. Baking, sleeping and seeing friends have featured high on the agenda. Our fridge is full of gingerbread men and coloured icing of purple, green, blue, pink and white. I'll showcase them later. Cramming more fruit down my gut before setting back to KL is another past time I find myself indulging in. My brother's birthday is coming up and we're planning an Amazing Race style treasure hunt for him and his guests as well as giant floor puzzles. Hope the weather will hold; it's been raining everyday since I got here which makes for perfect sleeping weather but not very good driving conditions. Especially when my average speed has since increased from 70km/h to 90. That's KL influence for you.

I am working on a little Christmas surprise for my viewers. Be patient.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

New hairstyle

Pa, in case you're reading this, I've changed my hair style. Am telling you first so you don't get a big shock, ya? Don't worry, I'll have my normal hair again when I go to work but until Christmas I'll look like that. See you at the airport...

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Great piss

I can't wait to go back to work. At least THEN when I'm thorough and pedantic and give suggestions, I have every right to dammit!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Attack of the sub

I woke up in a sweat in the early hours of this morning in the middle of talking to myself whilst standing on my bed frantically beating the air, brushing away something that wasn't there. Even when I turned on the light, my brain couldn't piece together why the floor was just as I had left it and wasn't covered in blue pythons which I was convinced had rained down from my closet.


Just another day then.


I'm still alive, although the number of times I have dreamt of almost dying should be enough to justify my idiosyncrasies.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

I'll be warm for Christmas

... and I'd be surprised if I weren't!
I live in Malaysia.
Chestnuts roaaasting...