I got chased by the T-Rex last night.
It was a beautiful day. People were lounging in the park. All of a sudden the sky turns grey, army tanks drive up and soldiers with awesomest bazookas come running up, strategically hiding in drains. We hear shouts of, "Everyone don't move! Stay still!"
I was wandering around with a long plastic bag filled with mentos and popcorn. All of a sudden I see this gynormous T-Rex running towards the little group of us in the park with his jaws flexed wide. For some reason he's running towards me!!!!! I fall flat on my back and he stops over me and all those Jurassic movies where the T-Rex nips off someone's head or leg keep running through my head and I'm lying there wondering if it'll hurt to die. He bends in close and I can see his grimy teeth smell his fish breath...
T-Rexes eat fish?
Then... he nozzles my popcorn bag and tosses it with his teeth.
That could have been my head...
And he wanders away playing with the flapping plastic bag in his snout and I lie there relieved, thinking I have escaped the dinosaur. I get up. He turns around. He realises that what he has in his snout is my popcorn bag and not my broken body.
I run as fast as my tiny legs can take me and end up in some building where I'm running from room to room thinking that the doors will block the giant T-Rex's path. Miraculously the T-Rex shrinks as he charges after me until he is no more than 7 feet tall and I'm stuck in a chamber with lots of cooking gas tanks all around with nowhere to run. He closes in. I shut my eyes. In my heart I have already surrendered like some prey resigned to its fate that it almost reverently acknowledges the predator about to eat it.
I wake up.