Friday, May 11, 2007

Punch me

I currently look like I've been beaten up; my jaw is swollen and visibly bruised from the tooth extraction, my ears are swollen because I put new studs in, the diametre of which is bigger than my previous ones, there is an almost permanent frown on my face trying to remember case law and statute in the taxi (how boooooring is that?) and I still have bruises on my arms and where else not from walking into things. My riding instructor very nearly turned me away from class today after one look at my puffed up cheek but riding is one class I will not miss, unless it rains. I still can't make contact and kick the horse hard enough which is very frustrating because it means that if halfway through my ride, my horse wants to stops, it stops because I can't urge it on with kicking. I might resort to the stick next week.

At this stage in the revising game, I sometimes have relapses (think every other hour) and wonder why I wasn't brought up on a farm with sheep, horses and cattle. It SO proves that the greatest happiness factor is not the point in living. Do you know what I want to do this instant? Drop everything and leave. I don't know where to and I don't know how but I kind of want to disappear for a few days. Did you know I wanted to be a marine biologist? But I allowed myself to be talked out of it by well-meaning people who do not understand me at all. I am never going to let anyone else make decisions for me... except the judge. But then that won't really be for me but for my client, if I ever get clients. Bah. Exams are like hurdles you have to get through one way or another; you can either crash into it or sail across.

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