We live in a world obsessed with physical beauty and perfection, where it is not uncommon for a woman to be assessed on the colour of her lipstick as much as on the quality of her brain. In fact, many women would admit spending more time in mascara than they would in a good book or other beneficial activity (commuting is a necessary evil and does not strictly fall under 'beneficial'). Not satisfied with sculpting bodily perfection through make up tricks and lunch time lipos, women are also 'called' to be sexy. What is this sexy? Most define it as an attitude, the way one carries herself... but what is it? Most would say Marilyn Munroe is sexy but why? I have never been partial to blondes and the women I do admire are athletic, not 'full-bodied,' another term that baffles the mind; how does one draw comparisons between full-bodied and full-fat? Does that mean then, that all blondes and full bodied women, to me, are not sexy? Is sexy something innate that some have and some don't, just as some have size double-zero bodies and some don't? Or is sexy something that can be cultivated, but even so, cultivated to what? Do we need a yard stick to measure degrees of sexiness and if we do, where, what or who is our yardstick? If my plumb line were Miss Piggy, does it mean I will attract people who find Miss Piggy attractive ie Kermit? We are fed with pictures which dictate what beauty should look like yet at the same time women are called to be 'original' and create their own style of dressing, their own brand of sexiness. Yet this 'brand' of sexiness is not allowed to remain objective but is subject to the unnatural proportions of models who insist that a few lettuce leaves and a cup of coffee is all they need to sustain themselves.
I think we humans are fascinating. We're the only 'animals' that willingly, decisively and wantonly crush another's self-esteem and self-worth not because we need to but because we want to. Because some of us can. Some have even created professions telling women that if you're seen wearing polka dots today, you're unsophisticated and unfashionable. We are deceitful, malicious and hubristic. If we were all to walk around stark naked, make up or A-line skirts wouldn't mean a thing except as unwarranted expenses. Don't get me wrong, I like fashion, I really do. Yes, I get it 'wrong' sometimes but on the whole I like the creative side of putting clothes together for a look. What I don't like is the constant badgering that stretch marks are bad, cellulite is evil, bingo wings should get the chop, anything above a size 8 is fat and everyone needs to look like they just stepped off a magazine cover. We should enjoy fashion, not be scared of it.
Strangely enough, men, who put an incredible amount of pressure on women to look good, don't care about their own appearance as much. Or at least, they give the impression that they don't care. Despite letting himself go on burgers and beer and looking a complete wreck, he still wants a stick of a girl-friend. Perhaps it is down to the over sized, overrated self-esteem some (I said some) guys have... So how do women react to these double standards? We expand our territory, chasing the men out from positions they (still) take for granted and stomping all over their egos in our Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins, which ironically were created by men in the 'beauty' industry. So what's sexy? Is men getting castrated (not literally) and women getting angry, sexy? The world becomes a less nice place to live in.
So Debs, all that talk is well and good but what about you? What do you find sexy? Do you feel sexy? I find being able to be comfortable around someone sexy. Not many people have that vibe. It may not be the most 'cool' thing to a guy or the most apparent to society, but I don't need society to tell me when I think someone is sexy. To be able to roll around and moan about work and he doesn't say a thing. Then after I'm done complaining, I realise life isn't that bad and he's still there. That's sexy. Currently, when I'm riding with a horse I feel sexy. The horse doesn't judge me for being sweaty or red in the face and I in turn need to maintain my weight else I wouldn't be able to go riding. An almost perfect relationship...