Eschatological tension is a phrase I like very much. It embodies why as Christians we wage war, seemingly against ourselves, fighting desires we want yet know we should not have and being flogged by our conscience even when no one is looking. To the outsider looking in, this behaviour is in complete contradiction to the rationale which is "ME." Why do something that does not appear to profit yourself, just because you think it is right? The 'me' in us screams for attention and many times we give in to its yodelling and whining. But there is this other 'force' in a Christian's life, another side more compelling than rationale itself; it is not a force which is unknowably mysterious akin the force of Good or Evil in Star Wars rather, a person with the mind and will and strength to transorm us beyond ourselves. The person of the Holy Spirit is not easily deterred by the pettiness of human malice or defeated the rebellion of human nature. Yet He is not emotionless like the micro-whatevers that float about in Star Wars that decides whether one is good or evil. He can be grieved, angered and pleased to an extent we cannot begin to fathom. It is His work in us that wages war against the desires of our flesh, giving us two natures within, one that desires to put God first and one that desires to put 'me' first. This strange struggle is faced by anyone who calls himself a Christian. Hardly can a Christian say (unless one genuinely decides to convert on one's death bed) that the Christian life is an easily pious, perfectly static one. Is it not a strange thing that to accept Jesus as Christ is to accept a struggle we will never feel we can win? However, we know that the power struggle is not in vain, that its result does not lie in mere feelings but in truth; God's rule will emerge victorious. The whole world is either a slave to sin (rebellion against God's authority over our lives) or a slave to God and righteousness. There is no grey area, no in-between. No autonomy from the situation. No sitting on the fence. No guessing games. Which side do you want to be on?
I am not sure how it links to my being jaded and restless but I know it does... somehow.