Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Improper Pride?

Some things incur my rancor more easily than others. People who are just incapable of listening in a conversation merely show themselves up as incompetent but people who fail to listen and then assume someone else's ideas (which have already been voiced in the conversation had they listened) as their own, just deserve to be knocked on the head and shouted at. Or so I think, when I am in a bad mood, wondering whether to tap the offender on the shoulder and explain that the idea was mine. Not yours or another's, mine. I am trying to figure out whether my annoyance and resentment is directed at the person specifically or at what they did because if I had already had reserved resentment towards them, their actions would then seem more uncivilised and ill-mannered than if someone I liked did it; I might find it easier to forgive someone who has hurt me countless times if I liked them than forgive someone once if I didn't. I could just blame it all on Murphy but the main issue is sin and a hardened heart. Pride perhaps? The 'mine' principle seems ridden with improper pride but surely there is just cause behind defending what is one's own, be it an idea, design or creation. I suppose it depends how much worth I put behind the thing that was copied or how generous I felt that day. I could solve all problems by keeping all my ideas to myself, not entering any conversation held, give monosyllabic answers or avoid everyone like the plague, but the downside (or upside if the company holds plague-like attributes) is that I get labelled rude, ungrateful and arrogant. Actually, the labels kind of grow on you until you wear them as proud badges of honour in contempt of the people who gave them to you. Contempt and sarcasm is a wonderful thing when given its rightful place but used unwisely, can cause deep hurt and relational rifts, which admittedly is sometimes the desired effect even though one knows its wrong.

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