Monday, March 05, 2007

3 years

Today is approximately this blog's third birthday or birthmonth (I go by month rather than day although won't it be awful if your mum said, "Okay we'll celebrate your birthday anytime this month."?) and I am unsure as to whether I should change the tagline in the black box above. In case any of you were wondering, it changes every year. I know that although writing wise my style may not have changed however it varies, the thought process that goes behind it has. The responsibility I feel towards it has increased, not just towards faithfully writing but also towards content and motive. There were times when I just wrote anything and everything that came from the top of my head. Now, although I still write random thoughts down, I mentally filter what could be misconstrued and either delete it from the original text or rephrase it. This if nothing else, has turned me into an annoyingly pedantic person, which I am even with friends, where political correctness is not necessary. I sometimes think my care for use of words, phrases and even train of thought nullifies the art of blogging; why blog if I cannot say and express what I want to say, in my words, on my terms, with my mind and view, my opinions and takes. Some say I talk too much and have no action, which is unfortunately true. But God is bigger than nicities and eventually someone will listen to even a noisy gong and perhaps wonder why the noisy gong is making such a racket and maybe hear the gospel. Some say I think too much but I would rather think before I talk and have my store of backup plans and damage control outlets which I may never use than to reach a situation and find I have no ammunition.

On one hand it must be brilliant to have the wrecklessness and idealistic notions to lean on, to use as a springboard to invincibility unaware that most of the time, it remains invisible to all but self. On the other, surely the maturity of mind is what one should aim for. To be able to ho and hum at all and hold no solid opinion of one's own worth defending, worth getting of that fence that is giving one splinters.... To be completely objective seems to be the soup of the day. To that extent I will hold out against all soup, pureed or otherwise.

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