Monday, February 26, 2007

Overworked

I have been told I think too much and I agree. The problem is, at this point in my life, they're simply not enough people around to tell me to stop thinking. Of course, I don't mean to stop functioning, more to stop analysing and over-analysing. I analyse my past, present and future. I make A plans, B plans and C plans and then plans to cover those plans. I think (oops, I mean I feel) I have taken Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" a little too far by trying to take all the roads I want to take at the same time. I think about my future a lot, I think about my death a lot, but I don't really think about how I'm going to get there. If I want to live in a penthouse suite, how do I get there, but then should I work for the penthouse suite or come up with a breakthrough of financial genious that I cannot but have the penthouse suite, making my hold of my suite more secure than if I had just worked towards it. And dying. Do I want to live to a ripe old age of 42 or go in a storm? In many ways, I cannot control when I will die, but can I control what I have before I die? Has God decided that I will have 3 dogs, 4 cats and no car or should I come to that situation, would it have been a matter of choices made and circumstances being the way they are?

I like instant. I know I learn more from processes and being processed, but if I'm processed too much, will I end up like white bread? I'd rather be whole wheat/ grain bread, retaining all nutrients.Maybe I need a roadtrip. After living out of a barrell for a couple of months, I should see life with a different perspective and perhaps, may emerge less regressed than I think I am.

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