Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Graduation = change?

Elena and I doing Superman impressions at our graduation at the Barbican, London

So, I've supposedly come to the end of my life of study and am now meant to be a successful, monochromatic, idealistic yuppie in the big, bad world of corporate finance and lawsuits. oh dear. If that is by any means a measure of success I have failed at every single one. I am still studying and endeavour to become an eternal student; after all, is not life a teacher in its own right? I'm by no means monochromatic although I did boast in the like-mindedness of a drunk to Elena, whilst probably overstuffed physically with Ben and Jerry's and mentally by Jonathan Ross, that I could use big words like monochromatic and steam engine. Really I said that. I wonder if the deans at Kings thought it was such a good idea to graduate me now...

It's true I'm idealistic but so is almost every 20 something year old who thinks he or she could become 'someone' in the world. However, I'm also a self-proclaimed pessimist. I've given up the dream of having a million bucks before I hit 31, instead think that I'll be mauled by a lion or get eaten by cannibals before I turn 45. I hear that human meat really isn't that nice to eat. We should introduce pork to those poor cannibals. They have no idea what they're missing. Char siew pork, roast pork, soy sauce pork, pork in batter, pork in butter, pigs in blankets, pig's trotter, pork and mushroom, ginger pork... mmmmm. Back to thoughts of why by the world's standards I might have failed...

I do wish I could wear black and white but although I sound like one, I think they belong better on a zebra. Besides, as Murphy's Law would have it, I'd probably accidentally bleach my blacks and spill cranberry or tumeric or orange pasta sauce down my whites. I like colour. I dream in colour, not black and white or sepia. I think beige is a very safe colour. Very chic. Very au natural and sometimes I wish I could wear beige but honestly, I don't think I'm poised enough. People say you shouldn't wear horizontal stripes if you're short or tubby, of which I am both, so everytime I go to shops, I restrain myself from stripes especially when they shout orange, blue, yellow and green altogether because someone akin to Trinny and Susannah say that's what I should do. Sigh. Maybe I have compromised already.

With regards to corporate mumbo jumbo, which although I admit hold part of the world together economically, are actually very unefficient at tackling social ills and global problems. The closest I'll probably come to a corporate world of pumps, lipstick and coiffed hair-dos is serving them as they brunch in a room above the rest, literally. Part of me wonders what goes on behind those panels of oak but part of me feels that even if I were 'part of that world' I wouldn't like it very much. Or maybe it's just because I'm not so I think that way. Maybe if I were, I would find I would quite like to stay.

So, my childhood dream of owning my own company by the time I'm 24 looks impossible as age becomes more of a reality; one really does think one can live forever when one is THAT young. But I'm working on my little projects that'll probably only affect a few and effect even less, studying as I go along, wearing red when everyone else is wearing brown, wondering whether I'll ever, as an adult, ever be free enough to own a dog.

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