Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Brain stew

Do you think cats get back ache? I have been wondering whether I need to go and see a chiropractor. Sometimes my lower back feels like it could crumble any day, leaving me about a foot shorter than I already am. At that rate, I could possibly die shorter than I was born. Hahaha. On one hand, I am slightly concerned, but on the other, having put down to experience my hyperchondria-induced, masochistic temperament, I refuse to give in to wild, self-constructed suggestions that I will die of chronic back pain. It is indeed interesting being both hypercondriac and masochistic. Being myself and continuously expanding this idea of self, provides a breeding ground in which one aspect of my nature feeds off the other and I am left stranded in a vicious circle that lives only in the crevices of jelly-like, grey cells, from which I emerge occasionally to give an impression of, at best, acceptable insanity. It is not that the fruits of Epicurus cannot live side by side with the reality of pain. In fact, where the Epicurist is the protagonist, the Masochist can only ever be the antagonist when in self doubt. For both revel in life, the flesh and self-gratification, the former in pleasures of senselessness and the latter in pleasures of pain. Pain holds fast more surely and more truly upon the human soul than self-delusions of airy-fairy notions of freedom, explaining why pain is universal and the Epicurist only runs naked behind his rosebush covered stone wall.

So yes, am viewing these matters of the troubled brain online because I doubt my Bible study group tonight will understand :p

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