Monday, June 21, 2004

Sensibilities

(Edited)
At the moment, I am reading the Bible, Knowing God, The Pleasures of God, purpose Driven Life and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy simultaneously. It's so fun to just snuggle with a book while munching at a carrot/ golden pear/ cheese dippers/ chocolate... Not a care in the world; just me and my books. After watching Beauty and the Beast (again) at Tara's, I thknk the Beast and I have quite a bit in common - we're both unrefined, we slobber our food, we lose our tempers and we like to be left alone. Besides, we both don't like Gaston very much. I would love his book collection - might never come out of the library, his palace is eerily fulfilling - enchanted candlesticks, always a plus and he's got a dog.

My head is too packed with hoodily-hoos to try think of something sensible and logical and encouraging to say to people who actually read all this stuff. Might go to Wagamama's tonight with Jo, dinner on Wednesday with Jude and tidying up in between. I need to give Alex a call to finalise signing documents bla bla bla and Jamie, Joe, Tom and Sean are gonna be moving in 3 DOORS DOWN!!!! Life can only get better after I die and go to Heaven (but I won't underestimate God). Second year is gonna be so much more of a blast than first year. Have to constantly remind myself about priorities though. With all the excitement, I don't want things to go out of hand. I was thinking last night how I should grade my priorities. And I came up with;

1. God's glory
2. God's church
3. Evangelism
4. Me

I know everything is greyish and that God's glory would encompass the 'me' aspect as well but roughly, I think that's the way forward. With God's church before evangelism, I might focus more on establishing lasting relationships as one part of a body rather than letting all my Christian relationships go down the drain because I want to evangelise 'this' way and not 'that' way, for example. Also, I put myself after evangelism because I will always be weak and sinful (until Heaven) and so in putting evangelism before my personal life and wants, I will be able to serve without my personal problems hindering any possible fruit borne of the Spirit of God working in evangelism - it has to be said, nothing is really that clear cut although I would like it to be so. When I make God's glory my focus, everything else doesn't seem to matter. God's glory. Read in Knowing God (Packer) that God is a jealous God. It's such a wonderful feeling; the God of all creation is jealous for my sanctity in Christ. It's not really about moral standards anymore. It's about God's standards. Personally, besides a host of other 'sins', rage and jealousy are two that I would name quite early on. I know that my jealousy is not exactly the same as God's - doh - but in a tiny way, it is similar, since we were created in His image. I'm just processing thoughts; if my jealousy for a person's Godliness mirrored God's jealousy for my purity (even though in a tiny, tiny way), wow. How does God do it? Sovereign Lord indeed.

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