Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Yes!!!!! I washed my hair this morning :) So now I'm all prepared for my haircut tomoz. Joanna and I were sitting in the kitchen last night wondering what sort of cut I should ask for. I'm pretty radical when it comes to cutting my hair so it would be interesting to see how this haircut turns out. The longest I've had it was and still is til my bum and the shortest, disregarding my infant years was when I took my dad's razor when I was about 14 and with mirrors both in front and behind me, proceeded to shave the back half my head. In fact, it was 'such' a work of art that I very nearly got severely disciplined for it by the authorities in my semi-convent school. Those were the days... I missed my chance to dye my hair blue just to get on the prefects' nerves although I did have squimishly long fingernails (used for slashing during basketball).

Had chinese noodles last night with Joanna, Priss and Obi. Yummy! Tonight, we'll be having crispy noodles stir fried Thai style. Ooooh.... had a pot of yogurt for breakfast which cost me 8p. I could live on Tesco 8p yogurt and 8p instant noodles for the rest of my schooling years... naturally, I will hunt down the occasional chicken/ cow/ pig/ fish/ lamb for protein. Speaking of which, I think it's about time I had another full-cream, chocolate milkshake. I also found several moo mugs and cups with cutest dinos on them in Tesco and the biggest chocolate egg(s) I've ever seen (Willy Wonka's chocolate eggs don't count cos they're not real). Mmmmmm...

Am still awiting my 'promised' trip to see horses in Kennington. Mr. Wiiiiilsonnnnn(!) - please don't tell me that none of you have ever watched Dennis the Menace - has told me of a certain horse farm somewhere near the Kennington Tesco. Bang. I've just killed two birds with one stone.
I am authentic,
No wizard's magic trick,
No need to take the mick,
I am me.

I want to be myself,
Not some doll on the shelf,
Not a fairytale elf,
Wait and see.

No need to nip and tuck,
No need to liposuck,
I don't depend on luck,
Hee hee hee.

Not gonna pop no pill,
No need to drink to chill,
It's enough - I've had my fill,
God loves me.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

YYEEOOOWW!!!!!!!! I've just chewed off a portion of my inner cheek - and by that I'm not trying to be cheeky. Went to Tesco with Priss and will be having a REAL vegetarian chinese noodles with satay peanut sauce... yumm. Also bought my long awaited 8p yogurt pack and several 8p packets of chicken instant noodles and other snacks for the bus journey to Word Alive. Can't wait. Lauren has suggested making roast chicken for Sunday dinner with all the trimmings and judging by the amount of beef I would prefer to consume in a week, it looks to me like we'll be having fajitas on Monday night... aahh, the joys of home cooking.

I've just checked my emails and according to Joe, a blankie might be needed. Ah. If I were to bring a blankie, I might as well leave everything else behind. I can so see myself half walking half dragging a blanket behind me as I go to and fro in the camp. Deborah, you're not meant to take your blanket with you!!!!! I know. Am just feeling illogical and am trying to drive everyone up the wall in the process. Am also wondering if a hot water bottle would play the same role... and I was just telling Priss this morning that I didn't own a raincoat... well, it's gonna be a cold front. Bring it on! (I just hope I won't be too sick afterwards to study :p)

Books. Yes, a good reminder that I have to unload my savings account into my current account. Will they take cheques you think?
Am prepping myself up for Word Alive and my birthday. Yeah, they're not exactly on the same tier are they? Hehehehehe.... I was contemplating 'sleeping in' (the coach) until we reached the campsite at about 4pm, which would be my natural waking hour but with a CD player and video in the coach, I doubt much sleeping will be done. All the more reason to buy munchies at Aldi tomoz!!! Mmmmmm... maybe I should make a giant gingerbread man with chocolate eyes and buttons and icing cuffs and collar. Yummy!!!! Am SO looking forward to the sea as well. Dreamt about it last night. You know how I'm scared of swimming where my legs can't reach the floor (and that's not very far)? Well, now you do. Dreamt last night that the Skegness beach was a dead drop into the sea instead of a gradual descent and I couldn't see the sea floor. It was as if the floor just disappeared from the beach... scary.

Priss suggested I get a piggy-back ride from someone in order to go 'to the deep end'. If that someone doesn't mind getting throttled, scratched in a panic and having their hair pulled, I'm all up for it. The last time I got a piggy-back in the water, the person lifted me out of it, with me sitting on his shoulders. I have no doubt he'll ever do that again. With nothing to hold on to except his head, I made sure his neck muscles had adequate exercise. She then suggested getting a float. I used to have this amazing half shark, half aeroplane float which was massive - almost my size - but then, I'm not that big.
After having had a trying 5 days or so, I decided to have 'breakfast' with the Simpsons today, ie I had a LONG lie in. Will be going to Aldi tomoz to stock up for the week, get snacks and loads of cuppa soup for Word Alive (and a tea towel), after which will be back at Priss' for yet another night of bangers (and instant mash).

Watched a documentary tonight about the 'Shroud of Christ' ie the burial cloth He was (supposedly) wrapped in. One thing that hit me was the graphic imagery of the pain He had to endure all the way to the cross. Pierced hands and feet, thorns crushed into His skull and back shredded with a lead-tipped whip. Less romantic, more real. A historian/ doctor actually commented that if he were to diagnose the death of someone who had suffered such agony, he would report the death as being caused by trauma and shock. The more 'objective' medical opinion of death caused by respiratory malfunction due to the crucified position can sometimes take away (and this is purely subjective) the initial horrific experience Christ had to suffer. For obvious reasons, the nerves or nervous system are particularly sensitive to touch and pain. The historian/doctor, said that the crown of thorns would have had pierced one of the most sensitive nerve endings, causing intense pain with even a whisper of wind. Like-wise, the nails that went through His palms and out His wrists hit yet another 'more sensitive' nerve ending. The Romans certainly knew how to torture their victims.

"I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sins upon that cross" from 'Here I am (to worship)' will definitely give me something to think about to be carried in my heart for the rest of my life.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Watched 2 movies today.. Willy Wonka and Love Actually, the former being an almost perfect depiction of how I view the world and the latter, the way the world in general would like the world to be. Ele commented that the oompah-loompahs were scary but I think it's just lousy colour co-ordination. Willy Wonka in his clashing and flamboyant suit of purple fits him just fine although it might look dubious on anyone else. I remember writing a 'pome' while in college about dethroning Willy Wonka and having Hershey's and Mars obey, but for today, in context of having woken up with a migraine, I think I would be quite disorientated having to look after the oompah-loompahs - unless they got their green hair recoloured. In order to avoid throwing up from the moment I got up today, I decided to follow Ulrika Johnson's pregnancy plan; eating everything (edible) in sight. Gemma left me an almost unused jar of mayo before leaving for home and I'm making good use of it. Am going back to unwind with cold Ribena and try cool my system down.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

For those of you who know my love of food - and it's not the same kind of love I have for Jesus (thought I'd better get that straight) - here's a quote(plus more) that I found whilst browsing through the web for things/ pictures/ familiarities reminding me of home...

"Malaysians and Singaporeans are food obsessed: broach the subject of food with locals and it may appear that eating takes priority over everything else in life. The multicultural traditions of the region offer the food lover a gastronomic experience like no other — a fusion of herbs, spices, sauces and ingredients from a host of cuisines, each continually borrowing from the other. To eat or drink in Malaysia and Singapore is far more than an act of sustenance, it is a social experience — a chance to let your tastebuds savour the cultural mélange of these two countries."

Ahhh... how wonderful to finally have someone understand.
Have just sent off one of my oldish mass emails as a 'test column' to Alexi for him to see if I should be given a column of my own next year(or two). And therein that most important manuscript layeth... the Gherkin, an unfortunate encounter with some Thai food and learning how to network within ULU's callous world. I had to edit it first though. Took out the inappropriate '...'s, hehehe's and added punctuation and capitals where necessary. Also had to cut it down significantly 'cos the column can only take about 400 words whereas the message was about 700.

The housing agent told me this morning that my 'dream house' at Claylands Road has been snatched up by some other buyer. I guess all property with 'in-built' chefs, body guards and dish washers, is hot property. Too bad, but I'm sure better property will come around. Have finished DOGW - somehow whenever I see those letters together, an image of 'Wonderdog' in his red cape, bursting with canine pride... from the Disney cartoon Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers, comes to mind. Had a vegetarian pizza as well. Both nourished me and will be accordingly digested in due time. Will be going to Toni n' Guy's with Carly probably on Thursday, yes Carl? Have yet to decide what sort of hair cut I want to have... might just trim it down and then get Carl to put it into plaits for me so I won't have to bother bringing a hair dryer.

Was worried that I might be coming down with a cough. So took a cough drop. Before the cough drop finished, ransacked my fridge and had a bar of chocolate ice cream. Illogical really, but I would consider myself the Queen bee of the illogical so it would go well with me. Have to finish the ice cream somehow. There're 10 bars(minus one) in my fridge NOT the freezer (cos the freezer's filled with 20 pork sausages and half a kilo of minced beef - it's all about meat!) and so they're slowly melting away. Have mashed 5 bars up into a bowl so at least it won't drip onto other stuff... it's like baby food really, without the nutrition.

Have kept up my carrot diet which I'm proud of and from tomoz onwards, will try fit in about 2 litres of water into my system as well cos apparently, that's how much we all need to drink to obtain optimum health. And I'm hoping the water would cool down my hot-headed temperament as well. I quote from DOGW, "Gentleness is strength under control." Whether or not I have 'strength' can be left up to debate. However, whatever I know I have aint exactly under control so will do one thing at the time. At least gentleness doesn't require me to learn the airs and graces of an aristocrat and 'smile knowingly' at proper intervals. Hooray!

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Washed my hair today and thought it was just gonna be another happy day - cos I washed my hair. that was, until I stepped into the kitchen. First, I was bombaded by Seneka that someone had dumped their room rubbish into the main kitchen bin - that someone wasn't me, just in case you were wondering... Then, a friend of his who has been staying over a couple of nights, left the hot water tap on, full blast, directly hitting a potful of frozen fish. Point: Water hits solid object. Water - stinky, fishy, can't get the smell out of my hair water - gets reflected EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! Everywhere includes everyone, includes me and reader, this was just after I had washed my hair. AAAARRGGHHH!!!!!!! Let me say that again AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The frustration of it all. And it doesn't end there. His friend starts cutting onions - the big fat ones - and I start crying and sniffling miserably cos my eyes are sensitive to just about everything and that includes onions. So now I'm writing this, smelling of onion/ fish. Cool.

Enough ranting for one day. Some days ranting's good, I guess, but now that that's over, I'll take a breather and think of something more 'important' to write about. Am currently reading Disciplines Of a Godly Woman (DOGW) and have reached one conclusion from what I've read so far...I quite like the book. Will be reading it simultaneously with Grudem and other Christian literature until this Friday. Saturday sees me off to Word Alive and come the week following it after my birthday, I'll be getting down to some serious studying.

Jude and I were talking about my fear of snakes *sigh* and Joanne, if you're reading this, hitting you that Monday afternoon in small group was an unplanned reaction. My reactions to S-related comments, jokes, gestures etc etc would be the same as any other person's reaction would be to let's say, a live coal. You would jerk away and wouldn't think twice about it. It's ingrained into your nervous system and it's the same way for me. When I say it's a phobia, it IS a phobia. It's not just a matter of hate, it's ingrained into my nature. And that's why I tend to tell people of this 'hate' when ever we first meet. Firstly, because I don't want them to be too surprised/ shocked at my violent reaction to it later and secondly, because of the very reason that I WILL react violently to it. When Jude asked me what I would do if a child out of innocent fun and mischief came running up to me with a snake in his hands, the thought was a bit overwhelming. Frankly, I will, knowing myself, probably hurl the nearest thing (or several of it) toward my object of fear - or if it's close enough, strike out - mindless of the child or the harm I could inflict on him. It could be rocks, an iron rod, a heavy object, a knife. The truth is, from the moment I recognise the 'danger' to the moment I feel safe again - during that space of time - my actions are a blinding reaction or instinct, void of thought of consequence or feeling of concern for anyone else and it seems, as I analyse my life, that everytime anyone (wrongly assuming that snakes are just something I have a pet peeve of rather than a serious problem) jokes about it or tries to 'scare' me in order to produce some sort of reaction to make themselves amused, I become less and less emotionally attached to the consequences my actions could and would have on people. I know it's wrong in my head but I no longer feel culpable.

The phobia started when I was young and has escalated and I've always known that I would have to deal with it somehow. However, in keeping with what I've read in DOGW, is it possible for me to maintain discipline in pursuing a Godly character, with this extreme fear pounding at the back of my mind? No. For how can I say I am training myself when my feet are bound in shackles and my body paralysed in fear? I know I am on dangerous ground and so I have decided to 'take matters into my own hands' so to speak. On my birthday, I am still going to London Zoo but instead of avoiding the reptilian section, I will face my fear. I can't tell you how it feels that my heart rate has just exploded into almost erratic thumping and how my palms and feet have broken out into cold sweat just thinking about what I have decided to do but I will do it. Crying won't do any good - been there, done that, didn't work. It's time to bring my horror film to an end.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Yeah... am going to hand my essay in today - finally! All I have to do is complete it. I was telling Priss that I must be the world's slowest typist... when it comes to homework that is. Did not sleep last night and will not be sleeping til late tonight. I think I tend to warp backwards when I study on automatic gear. Let's keep the adrenaline pumping for a bit longer!!! Was actually yawning so much and so intensely that I managed to get a smile out of a complete stranger in the lift. At least someone got a laugh. Am listening to Virgin radio now. Might as well get my head out of snooze zone to hype up for the last furlong. Everything from Radiohead's 'High and Dry' to some Starsailor or something... funny thing is, the comp I'm using now can't open the Windows file so after typing this I'll sidle over to the next comp to do my work. So yes, wish me luck! Or better still, wish me discipline.
Law is SO fun. Oh, sure. I mean, you get judges' names like Tuckey and Longmore and I'm thinking turkey and lawn-mower... Lord Turkey.. now THAT's fun. Had cramps in my leg jst now cos I sat with one leg crossed under the other on the pivoting chair. I'm barefoot as well so am feeling right at home. Should bring a duvet in next time... and chocolates and a toaster... bread and butter. Can you just see the butter oozing out??? Mmmmmmm..... am starting to yawn... not good. I still have a thousand words odd to go. Dateline's Friday noon but the earlier it gets sent in, the better. I don't want to hand my work in amidst a weeping "I haven't done that yet", bleary-eyed mob. I'd rather hand it in in my own bleary-eyed time. Also, I need time to prepare for Jonah on Friday afternoon. So it's best I get my work sorted out early. Early??? Hah! When THIS birdy awakes, all the worms are gone so she has to go catch fish instead. And come to think of it, the worms are in the fish so more for me! Nyek nyek! Or maybe I'll be an owl and catch a rat. Still better than a worm, I think. It's nearly 4... I wonder if anyone's awake yet? Priss'll be up in 2 hours time, Holty in 3.. the rest in 4 or 5.. and I'll be awake in about 8, 9 or 10. I wish I had a quid on me. Then I'll go to that ice cream machine and have a chocolate Feast - chocolate ice cream covered in a crisp milk chocolate shell with nuts and a core of thick, dark chocolate... Yum!
The coffee smell is coming back... oooooh.. help me...
It's just gone past 2am... at least that's what it says on my comp and mobile. So looks like I'll be spending yet another night here in the PAWS room. Am keeping myself occupied - you know what they say about giving your brain a rest every 45 minutes... Have added a nice long list to my 'go mad' links. The Godiva one is scrumptious and you HAVE to go on Disney lyrics. The picture that greets you aint great - one of the seven dwarves and I never got overly fond of them - but hum along to the songs. Go a bit mad. Wont' hurt - except maybe your reputation.
Aaaahhh... the sweet lingering smell of creamy, instant coffee is floating through the PAWS room right now. The girl who's brought her kettle, has within her, that stroke of pure genius. I am going to invest in a kettle... then I too can have the aroma of warm coffee swimming round in my head... But then my exams are almost right after the Spring break is over so I would be spending more time in my room than anywhere else - yeah right. To think, I'm doing my last ever essay for first year right now - minus the 12 hours and 15 minutes of exams I'll have from the 10th to the 14th of May 2004, that is. Letty came round about an hour... or was it two(?) ago to give me a present of her old violin books. THANK YOU!!!!! There's this cartoon guy called Eugene who features in about half of them.

Like I said, am doing my essay and am getting the hang of it even though I've only done 10% of it. Had to sieve it through getting all the different reasonings and how it affects the law today yatta yatta yatta... The only thing keeping me from just snuggling into bed right now besides the cup of tea still stuck in my system, is one phrase from Disciplines Of a Godly Man/Woman (they're two different books but share a few theories cos a husband and wife team wrote em), which I read over the internet. Can't remember the phrase word for word but it's something along quantitative discipline bringing on cosmic quality. So yeah. It's all about the cosmos. All I need to do is impress whoever's gonna mark my paper with brilliant stuff that I don't understand.
I've just added a few more links. George Verwer, some of us know, spoke at the 'One Life' event at All Souls a few months back with the 'send me' challenge. He also happens to be the guy I bought my world jacket from. Why link dog breeds? Initially I wanted you to see what Max looks like but then he aint a pure bred so the picture that comes up doesn't quite look like him - he's SO much better. But yeah. Go look up the Bull Terrier - one of my favourites. Another one is the Old English Mastiff. Unfortunately, the Spanish Mastiff(which I prefer more) is not recognised by the American Kennel Club ie AKC but it has nothing to do with King's College - doh - so isn't up on the charts. I also like the Great Pyrenees, which is the type Oscar is, my Kennington Park prince.

Will try to add a comments section which will come after each blog so you can reply!!!! Like in an email, only that everyone else will be able to see it. or just use the email add, will ya??!!??
I'm gum-chewing now and decided to just ramble on a bit more. Afterall, I'll probably be up til 2am so if anyone wants to email me or phone me during this time to ease my boredom, feel free to do so. Am feeling slighty cautious about swimming in the sea at Skegness at this point in time and the fact that I've been dreaming of being some Great White's snack for the past three nights has contributed somewhat to the scare. *Chomp*

Had to bathe in a trickle of COLD water today cos apparently someone's tap got left on in the middle of the night, draining all the hot water away. I might be small but the amount of water that came out of the shower head this morning was ridiculous! Eeek. Felt so grimy, I nearly used my exfoliating facial wash all over my body as well - but didn't in the end, no fear.

Will probably go get my hair cut at Toni and Guy's before heading to Springharvest in two weeks time. The hassle of washing and blow-drying my hair everyday is just too much with the current state my hair is in so get the scissors out. *snip snip* Or.... I bought some small, coloured elastic rubberbands today so as an alternative to having my locks chopped off, I might put my head in plaits for a week. Could do.

It's nearly 9pm and I'm wondering if anyone is still up. I know that I won't be alone here in the PAWS room cause everyone's trying to finish off homework extensions as well. Would bee odd though, if I were to live in Oval... I'd be miles away from my computers... what would I do with myself? Cook? Clean house? Redecorate? Hahahahahaha... I've already planned out house-deco in my head. Ummm... African lions, elephants, cheetahs, zebras... donkeys, animal print cushions, animal jigsaws. animal cutlery... African/ Mexican-print throw rugs, moo mug, german beer mug... rubber ducky in the bath.... a dog. Of course, they'll be intertwined with Gene Kelly(s), Dorian Grays, Phantom of the Operas, Fred Astairs and Roman/ Greek architechture drawings... as well as bits of framed music from Mozart, Chopin, Jeff Buckley, Hillsongs and Stereophonics and Green Day. Not sure how big or small the place will be so I'll stop there for now. The one thing you won't find in my house(unless there emergeth some extreme circumstance that were not avoidable) are lighted scented candles. Even a bathful of water won't persuade me to light one but a blackout in the middle of the night might. Or maybe I'll just invest in a torch or go down the road to Jamie/Joe/Tom's place.
Joanna just told me that we'll have an extra hour when the clocks are turnd for summer. If that is so, I want the full benefit of my £11 and so, would want the clockes to be turned on my birthday. Like I said, I'm going to the zoo. A few people have wanted to come along so.... well, if you really want to join me on that my special day, then do inform me in time 'cos I DON'T WANT TO GET STOOD UP ON MY BIRTHDAY - and yes, it has happened before.

As you all can see, I'm not at the party ROAR is currently having at Guy's campus. not just because i don't want to cry but because I have work to do. Time is precious you know. I've finally started cracking the code of my coursework and with a cup of strong, black tea behind or rather, inside me, I should just about stay alert until dawn. Then I will head over to the Law faculty in my clashing pyjamas and pink flip-flops, dump my complete and unabridged work into some box, sign some document stating I have handed it in (formalities, formalities) and then head back home to sleep, waking up in time to buy food for Easter feast tomorrow night. My plans however, I have learned from experience, seldom follow suit. As long as the work gets done, by hook or by crook, I'm sure my teachers won't mind.

Had minced beef +celery + toast for dinner. I'm so proud of myself!!!!! I'm eating healthily, have ample rest and when my exams are over, will have time to join K4 downstairs. So yes, health is also in order. Would be good I guess, seeing I've had several immune system crashes over the past few months.

Pete (Chilvers), if you're reading this, when can I go see Max again????

Alexi's now the official editor of Student Life, the ULU newspaper. Pete Ellender has taken over being Editor of ROAR as of this evening. We voted about 6.30pm. Being the initiative, hyper person that I am, I decided my chances of getting what I wanted would be more promising if I were first in line. Therefore, I sent Pete an email a few days ago(correctly assuming that he would win) asking for a column. Again today, immediately after Pete got established into his position I approached him ever so nicely and asked that I be given a coloumn seeing Ravneet, who writes one of the columns in ROAR will be leaving next year. He said he'd discuss it with Alexi so I'm gonna 'go' after Alexi as well. Might not be doing sports editing next year so am hoping for something more hmmm.. less sporty?

Will be arranging to see the estate agent of the place I want to live in on Claylands Road after I hand in my coursework and finish of Jonah with Jude. So that'll make it Saturday. Can't wait. I'll be looking at 3 other places as well. All in Kennington/Oval and all looking pretty hopeful. I just wish they'll be able to wait til July when I move out. Jamie decided to invite me over in advance..... to cook. Argh. I wonder what initial they'll give their place. Cos now it's still HWW but then? TJJ? JJT? SWH? WHS? hehehehehe.....

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

CU has just ended.. well, not just. A couple of us went to the Knight's Templer after that. Helped carry one of Olly's guitar's there. Looked small but was *urgh* heavy - just like me :) Anyway, had a geoooorgeous chocolate fudge cake with ice cream and hot Belgian sauce... mmmmm.. melting away( and I would do in this amazingly hot weather). When we all decided to finally leave, Olly nearly forgot his precious guitars but was reminded by yours truly in the nick of time. Saw Sean at CU tonight as well. There was some initial miscommunication which left me thinking I had another 3 questions to complete on top of the three I have yet to do. But as I said, it was a miscommunication. I MUST complete it by tomoz afternoon/evening at the latest because my social calender's packed for the next 2 nights and Friday noon's the dateline.

Work aside, the other aspects of my life are more or less in order. God, the best estate agent in the world(and out of it) - after all, He has offered Heaven - has shown me several places in Oval and Kennington so the next step in contacting the people on the little white card. Will do after the term is up. Food wise, I'm eating well and am hopefully increasing in muscle tone rather than blubber - although that will help me swim in Skegness. Speaking of which, Adam told me that I had to don a swimming costume ie a swimmingsuit to swim in the swimming pool. *Horrors!!!* I thought it was a 'family' environment ie no showing of too much flesh *hint hint*... decisions, decisions. I wonder if I could possibly sneak into the pool in jeans... the last time I showed my legs in public (not including houseparties where bedroom attire is required or during fire alarm sessions) was... back in the summer but that was because I wore a dress. On top of that, I have (apparently) 'sweet' blood so all the mosquitoes in my hometown decided to have a nibble. I remember one mozzy had more than its share of succulent red liquid that it was hovering over the floor in a slightly surreal manner, blatantly too full to move or too intoxicated to fly properly. Needless to say I decided to end its short-lived life.

I'm (finally) growing up. Pimples are emerging - a sure sign of increasing hormones in the bloodstream. Hahahahaha... that's one way of looking at it. Maturity is a fine thing if coupled with sturdy wisdom, else it's just a matter of adults acting grown-up in public.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Fire alarm went off this morning. Was contemplating just staying in bed cos there's so much water in the bathroom, the fire'll never stand a chance(if there were one, and there wasn't) but the noise got to me in the end(as it should) and I trudged downstairs in my Hawaiian print sleeping clothes and pink stripped slippers. Very dubious fashion sense there. At least I wasn't wearing my giant OINK pig-shirt. Decided to lounge around for another hour after I retreated back into my hidey-hole and then whipped up for myself a calorie-packed brunch of beef burgers, fried egg - sunny side up and a tray of spicy potato wedges. Joanna's keen nose detected my cooking a mile off and she came to relieve me of a third of my portion. Aaaah, the joys of house sharing. No, really. Can you imagine what the situation would be if I had consumed the entire contents of my meal??!!??

Will be having CU tonight. The last CU of this term. I feel so old. It's been 10 years since I first saw the Lion King. Ten years!!!!! Time has.. how do you say it? Flown by? ROAR editors' meeting tomoz and Pete is running as editor. Being the only ROAR person standing for 'election' I will no doubt vote for him and am looking forward to revamping one or two sections of it. After the meeting, there'll be a party at Guy's campus. To go or not to go? THAT is the question. Would be the (almost) last time I see Alexi so am struggling to decide just how much I can trust my tear ducts from erupting into pools of salty water. Maybe I should just flip a coin. Hakuna Matata.

It's about 3.30 and I've got 3 hours to go before CU starts. Was supposed to complete my research for my coursework today and hopefully I will be able to keep right on schedule. Finish my draft and the real thing tomorrow, hand it in on Thursday and I will have a day to spare. After which, I have approximately 6 weeks (minus 5 days for Springharvest, 1 for my birthday, 1 for horse day, 1 for Joanna....) to vigorously commit to about an 8 week memory span, my 4 modules for the year. So far Contract's okay, Public's all about Tony Blair (or not) and Criminal makes absolute sense. The only thing I have yet to get my head around to even comprehend is European Union law. Bla. Mental block. Time to grab a bottle of Mr Muscle and...
So yeah, it's about half an hour to midnight. Last small group for the term tonight. The last one with Marky leading *sigh*. Have got some Noga vs. Abacha coursework to read up on. Shouldn't take too long. Hahahaha.. I said that on Friday. Adam told me of some horses near a certain Tesco in Kennington. Will go see them as soon as I can. Probably the weekend after Springharvest. Then I'll be able to have an on-running week of mad Birthday celebrations - Springharvest and the seaside for 5 days, horses the day after, the zoo and hopefully camel ride on my birthday, Joanna and I will be doing something that Wednesday after Easter as well. Will be seeing Jude this Friday to 'finish off' the book of Jonah. I'm not sure what time we'll be done. Time for two kebabs each? Have been invited to a party by Natalie on the same day - fancy dress that is - hmmm... slightly tempted but... I'm not exactly a party fairy so might give it a miss. Hopefully will see Pete on Wednesday to arrange a time to go see Max again. Will buy him all the little luxuries this time. Yes.. goodnight folks. I will try plan out a tag box as soon as possible so you can post me messages!
Someone is eating Thai crackers next to me. That someone is Louise Lincoln. Was going have my regular sit down to do some reading in 9bb but Ben came along. Haven't seen him in ages and what do you know... he's gone and grown a beard! Since it's been a while, decided to walk back over to Waterloo with him to catch up and do some chatting. Yeah Ben, no more mass emails. Gone are the days of spamming and crazy you-know-whats bombarding your precious space. And that goes for everyone I usually hit as well.

You know what the weird thing is? The more public I make my statements, the more private it feels... which is great! Like it's no longer limited to just the few people I know, now it's going global, crossing boundaries of geographical distance and social perception.

It's a be-yew-tee-ful sunny day in jolly, old England. Wonder when they'll turn the clocks forward this year? Better not do it on my birthday... I don't want any time wasted that could be spent in the zoo. Am looking out of the PAWS room window... comparing it with home. Just made a funny discovery. There're bigger cars back home but smaller people... hahahahahahaha.

Better sign off now. Am aching for some chips and kebab all of a sudden.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Found use for all my previously 'useless' copper coins. The choc vending machine at SSA (Stamford Street Apartments ie where I live) accepts them!!!! I did try to deceive the machine by trying to persuade it that I was actually dumping 10p coins in instead of 2p - as if the speed I clink the coin in will prove any help - but the machine won't take none of it. But at least I have reason to spend my coppers now... AND I have two bars of chocolate in front of me.. actually only one - I've finished the other.. YES, she scores!!!!

Was just browsing through my past blogs... after all, this IS my journal... and came across the 'rock' analogy used in the 'Job' section about 3, maybe 4 blogs down. Giving respect and recognition to where and whom it is due, I got that off Michael Ramsden at a talk he did at CU(Christian Union). A swell guy and excellent speaker, Greek restaurant or not. Aaah, yes. The Christian Union of King's College, London. A bunch of Jesus rockers and Spirit shakers who are responsible for keeping me from flying off into wonderland. The CU webpage/site - what's the difference??!!?? - is just about as orange as this page.. more orange in fact. It's the only consolation I have, having not yet learnt the pass-codes to colour variation and tone.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

As you might see, I'm going bing bong nuts again. So this is what it's like having a blogger to look after, running after, chasing more like it... and cleaning up, nurturing.. yeah, cool. Is there anywhere I can put my email address up on this page somewhere??? yeah yeah, like I said give me time. Who are you talking to bout giving time, I'm the one giving you all the time. I've got coursework to hand in on Thursday. actually it's due Friday noon but I figure if I keep on telling myself Thursday, then I'll get it done by Tuesday, then I'll have the rest of the week off! hehehehe.. reversed psychology. Works everytime. Even on myself. On one hand I want a nice bar of choc. On the other hand, I'm going to Springharvest in Skegness (for those of you who have no idea where that is, I don't have much of a clue either) and therefore, don't want to pig out just in case swimming's involved. I want to be fit to dunk people you see.... if I can reach them. The joys of being vertically challenged.
Urgh, I was rambling on and on about the manic glee in taking over your hotmail/ yahoomail whatever mail, that I totally lost track of the reason behind it all. So here goes, check out

Why??? Why!!! Why.... yes, start thinking all you good people for everything has been created anew. I am a new creation, no more in condemnation, here in the grace of God I stand... then there's a second verse and going on to the chorus, everybody sing! #And I will PRAISE(at this point you're supposed to do the mexican wave) You LORD, yes I will PRAISE(mexican wave the other way) You LORD and I will sing of all that You have done...# go grab a songbook to find out the rest. I might install one when I've found my silicone fingers.. as opposed to green fingers.
Aaahhh... might as well say it, since it was the main reason behind sleepless nights, exposing my shameful lack of Info. Tech knowledge and still trying to get to grips with html language.. I need a dictionary of some sort. Anyone know where I can get one? And before you say anything, DONT blast me with html language. I'll barracade you! I'll chop you into little mega-nano bytes... I'll.. I'll... I'll be nice and add you to my emailing list.. that way, I will be able to open the floodgates of Debbie-world into your email, stopping you from ever regaining contact with the outside world again... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... *wicked laugh* imagine a raisin taking over the world!

I'm going to side-track for a bit.. no actually, a lot. But then, as a friend once told me, guys have tunnel vision - they only focus straight ahead, girls have double vision - they loose focus of the aim in sight easily but you my friend (reader, this means me)... dramatic pause... YOUR tunnel has several openings, is full of trapdoors and sidedoors and huge, chunky pipes linking elsewhere!!!! don't you ever focus??!!?? Reader, he was visibly frustrated at my lack of dedication, clenched jaw and all so I left (get the pun?) allowing him to cool down. Based on that analysis however, I shall open a sidedoor, sidle down a sewage pipe, open another door, fall through a trapdoor and say Dorian Gray.

Suave, debonair.. ahh.. the artistic talents that elude me shall be my challenge. That's my problem I think. It's not I'm not dedicated, I just need new challenges that's all. And the poised Mr. Gray shall guide me to perfection. *snort*
Tried to change the colour a few times but mayhap I'd be better off sticking with orange. not my favourite colour but change is good and if I keep on telling myself that, I'd probably believe it one day. So yeah, the carrot chewing, mind boggling master of mystery has emerged in a slightly dubious way - albeit grudgingly - through a bright caramel-like, non praline concoction - the blog!!!! hahahahahaha.. Don't worry. I don't know what I mean either.
There was a question I stumbled upon this week that I found quite interesting... Where was God in the time Job needed Him most? We all know the story of Job. Rich man in the Bible, got struck down with tragedy, continued in his walk with God, God restored him to former (plus more) glory. It seems contradictory to God's loving nature to place such a burden upon those He should be caring about. And so sometimes, as doubt creeps into our minds as it does when it does, the question is asked, did God overdo it? Note: The question 'Did God overdo it?' was asked by a friend of a friend and below is an insight to my soliloquy.

It is interesting to note, in reference to Greek scriptures, that when Jesus prayed '...sanctify them by Your truth; Your word is truth,' He used the noun 'truth' and not the adjective 'true'. (Although this is not exactly privatised info, i have to admit I got it off Grudem). This means that God's Word is to be regarded as the very highest standard of truth by which all things fall in line with. What does this have to do with Job? Everything.

It is true that Job might not have had the Holy Scriptures on hand. When I say the Holy Scriptures, I am referring to the possible scriptures he might have been able to get hold of in relation to his time, for example, the first five books of the Bible. However, he might have possessed other theological manuscripts of his day by other authors so would not have been left in total intellectual darkness. Even if it was not revealed in the book that Job knew explicitly of the Promised Messiah, we cannot say whether God chose revealed it to him before or after the writing of the book. Even if he did not have any written texts, what is there to keep God from revealing Himself to him in other ways as He did to the Israelites?

To say God 'overdid' the trauma Job had to undergo is like asking 'Can God create a rock so heavy, He cannot lift it?' (M. Ramsden) We see in the New Testament that no one can say 'God is tempting me.' God allows for obstacles to purify and refine us to purest gold but He will never give or allow more than we can handle. It is God who calls, who saves and who justifies. The Holy Spirit in us allows us to take in Scripture as God's very word and it is also He who leads us to faith to repentance and who changes our lives. 'All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away' are the words of Jesus promising, not only not to drive away those who seek Him but also to hold in His grip, those He has chosen.

We can sometimes forget that God is the great 'I AM'; I am who I am and I will be what I will be. What we are guilty of a lot of the time is confining and limiting God to our finite human capacity. Whether or not Job understood the concept of saving grace, he trusted the LORD not just because the LORD remained his friend and Rock throughout the good times and the bad but because the LORD God is God. Why could Job hold on inspite of the lack of any explanation? Who are we to question the mind of the Living God?

So how does it apply to us? Like many other 'stories' in the Bible, the book of Job is there to teach through live example. We can learn a lot from Job in persevering in faith and how we apply that to our individual lives would be 'moulded' to our different situations. Nonetheless, we should always go back to Scripture as our guide for living. How we determine to 'grasp' Job's mindset is one thing. Yearning to know the mind and heart of God. Now that's more like it.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

This page is too orange... need a few pics... hang on.. give me a couple of years and I'll come up with some.
Hmmm.. my third post. Weird. This is the third time I've tried to publish this and it's still not publishing. Must be a glitch somewhere...
Hmmm.. second post. Am just filling space while trying to get my head around this whole mumbo jumbo techno stuff.
Cool. first entry. i wonder what I should say?