Experiment machine

Yes, please!

Heaven will be purple

Picture by naturaworld.com

If only I could hit the snooze button on time, I would spend all day in childlike rest and all night star gazing and smelling like perfume. And God will be right there. He's all I need.

CPU down

When the effects of Affirmation take over, very little can be said and/or done to override it.

Rahni said I had lost weight. Camy very nearly said I was thin (or maybe I just chose to interpret it that way).

I was so happy...

...that I went to treat myself to an 'eat-all-you-want-gorge-my-heart-out' fest at Pasta Zanmai (yes, the same place Santa Claus blacklisted 2 entries below) and I even had.... dessert; profiteroles with ice cream and chocolate sauce topped with almond slivers, no less.

Counterfeiting vs Counting feet

Ok, so counterfeiting has nothing to do with counting feet. I think.

Unless you're counting the number of people who are involved in it. But then you would count heads instead of feet.

Unless you're vertically challenged and can't see so far ahead. But then you would have to be pretty good at division as two feet would mean one head.

Unless some counterfeiters only have one leg since they're the modern day pirates and don't some pirates have one leg?

I used to think having a pirated dvd was no big deal. A fake Gucci (fake-schmake) was a reason to laugh at someone else who obviously couldn't afford the lifestyle a Gucci promised. Fake Burberry was something the dog could wear.

Then I was asked to write an international piece on counterfeiting. Being me, any piece that has an opinion has to have my opinion. I don't like counterfeiting ideas :p

Having to have an opinion about something meant having to have principles behind the opinion. Having to have principles meant having to have morals. Morals meant ethics. Ethics meant philosophy. Philosophy meant religion and religion meant God. The first verse that came to mind was, "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a..." (quick recaliberation of Biblical theology flagged it as out of context).

Second verse was, "Casting pearls before swine." I can tell that I'm still excited after having had pork last night. If I have to write about anti-counterfeiting, I have to live anti-counterfeiting. It's hard to put your soul into your work when there's no soul to begin with.

I think I would rather write about counting feet.

Black paper

I doubt Santa will fill my stocking this year.

When he tiptoes pass my bed I will jump up and demand my orange bag and he will look at his list sadly and say...

"Did you or did you not, on the 6th day of the month of November in the year 2009 at approximately 9pm in Pasta Zanmai in Midvalley, polish off a scallop pizza, katsu chicken pasta, a whole crab and a pot of green tea... all by yourself?"

The end of the beginning

Yesterday was my last day as a chambering student. My only consolation is that God wants me here more than I want to be. Don't get me wrong, I am comforted and confident that this is where God wants me to be but it's hardly a self-assured confidence rather, it is of quiet faith, patient endurance and humble perseverance.

Bursting into tears whilst typing emails surrounded by mountains of files that need to be exorcised is common fare these days. As long as I manage to hide my red-rimmed eyes from the Clients, the misery goes unnoticed. Staring at grey carpet, wondering whether a certain ball of fluff was there the day before is more comforting than watching lives go by. Some Clients are driving me to the dangerous brink of shoving their business back in their face and telling them to take their upturned noses, ridiculous expectations and shallow pockets elsewhere.

Should being a 'professional' dictate what I should and shouldn't do?

Or, should being true to myself dictate how I carry my 'profession'?

I'm really tired.

Top 10 indications

You know you're in Malaysia when:-

1) "I see you in 5 minutes" means 15, 15 means 30 and 30 means 120. Do the maths.

2) Lepakking (loitering aimlessly) is a legitimate pastime.

3) Teh tarik (type of Indian tea) kurang manis (less sugar) means only 5 tablespoons of sugar

4) The first decision that involves thinking every morning is deciding what to eat

5) Bata is synonymous with shoes

6) Petaling Street is automatically tipped as a tourist hot-spot

7) Anyone can watch English, Cantonese, Hokkien, Tamil and Hindi movies and understand it perfectly if they can understand the Malay subtitles that go with it

8) Most advertisements will have a least one Malay, Chinese and Indian to (over)emphasise racial harmony so that 'no one' feels left out. Someone clearly forgot the Iban, Bidayuh, Melanau, Bisaya, Lun Bawang, Orang Ulu, Kayan, Kadazan, Bajau, Murut, Oang Asli, Penan, Baba Nyonya, Peranakan...

9) Voices over the intercom in trains, airports and radio sound like Americans trying to speak English like a local (like Chow Yun Fatt in "Anna and the King")

Finally....

10) You KNOW you are in Malaysia and have truly assimilated when... Nasi lemak, nasi kerabu, nasi goreng cina, nasi goreng pattaya, mee hailam, dim sum, nasi goreng usa, chee cheong fun, woh teah, gu bak mi, ipoh hor fun, ipoh hor hee, bamboo chicken, lotus root soup, ginseng chicken soup, sze chuan chicken soup, pek tin soup, groundnut and pig tail soup, ying yong, tau iu tu bak, lo bak, tu ka, ke ka, ang chiu ak, tomato mee, roti canai, roti telur bawang, maggi goreng, roti tisu, limau ais, cin cau, nasi briyani, murukku, chak fun, chendol, laksa, kari, mee jawa, kampua mee, kolo mee, mee pok, longan ais, wantan mee, murtabak, butter pork, dhal, squid with egg, ngo mi teng, sea coconut and lemon, lo mai kai, pi tan, chicken kurma, char siu pau, siu pau (different from char siu pau :p), hu ngang, egg foo yong, pohpiah, seng kam chui, bidin cha sardin, ocien, mani chai, 'wall band' and 'mat to lo' ... all sound like home to you.

Mr Murali

He's the person who 'looks after' us in the KL Duta High Court. He has the power to approve or reject our documents, papers, reports, handwriting, hair, clothes, IQ... some have retreated trembling with fear (or rage) at being treated like the amateur 'not-yet-lawyer' they are.

Excerpt of conversation with the all-important Mr Murali today:-

Debbie: Hello! *smile smile*

Mr M: Hey! Where have you been? (I am one month behind in filing my papers)

Debbie: Accident. Had to replace one month. *sticks out lower lip*

Mr M: Haha, Accident? What kind of accident?

Debbie: Bicycle. See I have this scar... *points*

Mr M: Haiyorr... *pauses* ... accident still can gain weight. *chuckle chuckle*

I am not drinking Milo again. Ever. To understand context see previous post.

Hidden dangers

Some secrets we discover hit us like a snooker ball in the chest. Others creep up on us, terrorizing our sleep patterns and haunting our daydreams. Yet others unveil at a most opportune time how close we could have been to teetering over the horizon and into the unknown.

I thought that by giving up my succulent portions of deliciously greasy and crispy Indian pancake for breakfast (roti canai), I would achieve the weight loss I had always been looking for, replacing my mornings with a hot drink and if absolutely necessary (which I must emphasise for those who know my addiction to chocolate, were few and far between), a chocolate chip muffin. Nearly half a year later, my no-breakfast policy shows little effect (actually it shows a lot of effect which I would rather it not!) and I am close to throwing myself into a liquid-only diet to try lose calories my body magnetically attracts.

Today suddenly in coversation I found that my nemesis for weight loss lay quietly hiding in my daily morning cup of chocolate malt (Milo). To make things worse, I was discreetly informed that my so-called weight-loss breakfast was more calorific than any ammunition the greasiest Indian pancake could attack me with.

Great.

Wonderful.

After some deliberation, I figured that my waistline was more important to me than the potential of hurting the coffee lady's feelings by telling her I wasn't going to have anymore morning chocolate malts.

Let's see how much I lose by Christmas. CW: 5x.xxkg; GW: 48kg.

A girl can truly hope...

Botkier Sasha Duffel Large in Orange. Please.

Post script: Pa, this hint is not directed at you kay?

Ashley didn't tag me

Ashley said: "Rewrite the answers and repost. Tag me back, I wanna read yours too."

1. I've come to realize that my hair:
Can look good after a salon wash and massage

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:
I mumble

3. I've come to realize that all I really need:
I already have

4. I've come to realize that I've lost:
My stapler at work :(

5. I've come to realize that I hate it when:
People breathe down my neck in the train or while waiting in queue

6. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk:
I act exactly the same as when I'm sober

7. I've come to realize that money:
Can get you a window seat with Air Asia

8. I've come to realize that when I get old:
I'll be older than I am now

9. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
Shorter than I think I am

10. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
Superman, Indiana Jones and Batman

11. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was:
Sunday night.

12. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
Can be used for other things other than calling and texting

13. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the mornings:
My brain switches to autopilot until lunchtime

14. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night:
I sniff menthol variations like a druggie

15. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
My work

16. I've come to realize that my life:
Can be beautiful

17. I've come to realize that my favourite drink is:
Chilled Yeo's Green Tea (in the can)

18. I've come to realize that today I will:
Have to finish processing 37 files before I can go home

19. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
Be processing 37 files

20. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
Wonder why I didn't look through 37 files

21. I've come to realize that I really want to:
Learn how to make kuih lapis, sew a patchwork quilt and own a kimono dressing gown

22. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to re-post this is:
Someone like me

23. I've come to realize relationships are:
Sacrificial

24. I've come to realize that love:
Is sacrificial

25. I've come to realize my best guy friend(s):
May not hang out with each other

26. I've come to realize my best girl friend(s):
Are people I share food with

27. I've come to realize food is:
Glorious

28: I've come to realize that this weekend:
I will be doing what I've wanted to do in a long time

29. I've come to realize heartbreak:
Lasts longer than one would like it to

30. I've come to realize that the last person I liked:
May not have been the best thing for me

31. I've come to realize that my brother(s):
Is very good looking and... (insert accolades) and I'm very proud of him and I will personally slam the girl who dares break his heart into a brick wall.

32. I've come to realize that crying:
Can be used to one's advantage

33. I've come to realize that death:
Has lost its sting if you put your faith in Jesus

34. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:
If?

35. I've come to realize when I'm bored:
I do quizzes, tags and memes like this one

Sarah's Chat

As if talking to Sarah online isn't enough, I've made her stay up til past 1am the last 2 nights when I was back in my hometown doing little else but talking. Note: Whilst 1am is not generally late for young working adults, in Kuching it is :) So after chats over chocolate mints and playing 3 rounds of UNO Stacko (which I won consecutively - nyek nyek) about my mood swings and dot dot dot and dot dot dot (and the other) what did we decide on?

1) I'm going to try to not live in the past
2) I'm going to be optimistic about the future
3) I need to set realistic standards for myself and for others
4) I should give myself a break
5) I'm going to give other people a chance and take chances myself

Easy to say. I can sense my breath getting shorter just thinking about trying to let go.

Repetitive

I have nothing...

...to wear

to work...

...tomorrow

AGAIN!!!

Fasting

I can't fast... for the right reasons.

The days I 'try' to fast are spent less thinking about God and more thinking about how much weight I'll lose.

Obssession.